Girls vs. Grown Women

BY: - 6 Jul '08 | Home

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I saw this online, check it out:

Girls vs. Grown Women

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.

Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits

Girls want to control the man in their life.

Grown women know that if he’s truly hers, he doesn’t need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.

Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn’t.

Girls are afraid to be alone.

Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.

Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come home.

Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.

Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man’s time (i.e., don’t want him hanging with his friends).

Grown women realize that a lil’ bit of space makes the ‘together time’ even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends!

Girls think a guy crying is weak.

Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and ‘tell’ their man so.

Grown women ‘show’ him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his ‘manhood’.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.

Grown women know that that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all ‘signs’.

Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, doesn’t always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.

Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends”. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

BMWK I think there is a lot of truth in this, what about you?

About the author

Ronnie Tyler wrote 484 articles on this blog.

Ronnie Tyler is the co-creator of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com and co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing. The proud mom of 4 has been selected by Parenting Magazine as a Must-Read Mom and is one of Babble's Top 100 Mom Bloggers.

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19 WordPress comments on “Girls vs. Grown Women

  1. Anna

    This is so ture. The old saying “with age comes wisdom”. Who wants to go back 20 yrs and be young, dumb and naive. Alex, I”ll take 40 and being confident for $500.LOL.

  2. Smooth

    This is a good one, Moms should share this with their daughters when they think they are grown and know everything. Teach them to be a lady now and then sit back and watch them blosom into one.

  3. Mrs. D

    God Bless the person that posted this list. There are sooo many grown women acting like little girls. I try to tell young ladies if they will just get busy living life, they will be less concern about what “he” is doing. Good post Dad.

  4. TiP

    LOVE it!! I just turned 30 and I am feeling more “grown” every day. The girl in me still tries to raise her ugly head, but the grown women in me has to shut her down. I am going to share this with my girlfriends that just turned 30 this year too! Thanks Mom for sharing.

  5. Anonymous

    This is a great message to all women. It really hit home for me. As a 40 year old, I find that some of my behavior may be classified as “girlish” behavior. I’m going to have to print this and post it somewhere for me to read daily!! Although I’ve changed some of my “unwomanly-like” ways, there’s plenty more room for improvement. Thanks for passing this along.

  6. Lovelyk

    As a young woman growing into a young lady i say Kudos for posting some truth. I’m always trying to be ahead of the game for my age. And now that i’ve seen this post i realize i’m heading in a good direction but still have some areas to work on. Thank you

  7. Kit (Keep It Trill)

    Some of these are on point, but I strongly disagree with others and think they perpetuate problems between the sexes.

    “Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.” Now there’s a woman who makes a guy feel like he’s an appointment. A little bit of a chase is good; too much and she’ll be alone with her cat on weekends.

    “Grown women are too busy to realize you hadnt [called]. If he’s that far out of mind, he’s not in her heart, and will look elsewhere, unless he’s a masochist.

    “Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.” Everyone needs a little work in the looks and personality department. Nothing more disappointing to a guy than a pretty woman whose too arrogant to dress up beyond t-shirts and jeans when he wants to see her in a dress and her hair fixed up and thinks she’s the shizzle.

    “Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, doesnt always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.” Give me a break. Who isn’t going to be mad that they blew their time, love, and maybe sex only to discover the guy was playing them aka ‘didn’t love her back.’

    Temporary bitterness shows she’s sane. Prolonged, of course, is immature and unhealthy… unless he totally screwed up her life, i.e., denied the baby was his but when DNA testing proved otherwise, skipped out and refuses to pay child support; left her finances in ruins, infected her with in incurable STD, hid his drug stash in her place, lied and let her take the rap and she went to jail, etc. Then she’s entitled to hate him until the last one is breathing. All true stories from clients I’ve worked.

    My opinion only. I’m a therapist. Check out my blog, Keep It Trill. I’ve got lots of stories.

  8. Alyssa

    If that’s what a “grown woman” is, I’m glad I’m not a bitter old cat herder.

    “Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits” Good luck finding a lover when you treat him like a business partner.

    “Girls check you for not calling them. Grown women are too busy to realize you hadnt.” Pro-tip: Men don’t go for narcissistic cows who pretend not to care about them.

    “Girls ignore the good guys. Grown women ignore the bad guys.” WRONG. Girls never go for “nice guys.” Nice Guys are pathetic, weak and whiny. They can’t provide a thing for girls and have no authority. What’s attractive about them? Nothing. Just admit it, we love the bad boys.

    “Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.” This is why so many women are single. Men don’t want cocky, arrogant douchebags for girlfriends.

    “Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, doesnt always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.” Wishful thinking, and/or outright denial.

    I’ll stick to being a girl, thanks.

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  10. Earllisha Sanders

    @55b3424850ea0f2731ddbd496371a89d:disqus   I love you comment and I agree so much I am glade to see that other women are going  through  what I am. This is a great post I am sharing it with everyone and printing it to but in my journal!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Chris Henderson

    According to the world around us, and just casual observation, it seems Ronnie Taylor doesn’t know the difference between a girl and a woman.  A WOMAN would have never had to deal with all those obstacles because through her constant submission to GOD(of the HOLY Scriptures, not Korean) and frequent prayer life.  She would have been led to the right man and not had to deal with all the games.

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Dear BMWK… How To Console A Spouse

BY: - 8 Jul '08 | Dear BMWK

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Dear BMWK,

How do you console a spouse who knows that his grandmother is terminal with 1 to 6 months to live. He is very close to his grandmother who’s like a mother to him. He knows the news, yet, is showing no emotions. Just being extremely quiet and standoffish. I am giving him his space, however, I have asked if he was okay; and the answer, I’m sure you’re aware was just simply “yes”. How should I handle this situation? I know when my grandmother, whom I was close to died, I was a balling wreck! But, that’s how I handle things… I cry.

HER VEW:

You may want to reach out to a grief counselor from a local organization or church for advice on what you can do. I think what is most important is that when he’s ready that you are there for him to support him. Just make sure you give him his time and don’t press the issue.

HIS VIEW:

I think you have to realize the difference here between men and women. We handle things completely different than women in general. We often don’t show our feelings on our sleeve and take the position that we have to keep it together. This may not always be good or the right thing to do but it happens a lot even in our relationship (me and TheMom). I suck it up and think to myself that I’m the dad literally so if I don’t hold it down who will. Like I said I know this isn’t necessarily how it should be but hey… it is what it is. I think you have to let him know you are there to support him and love him up but, let him open up when he’s ready and in his own way. You can’t expect him to grieve like you grieve.

BMWK what advice do you have for this reader? Come on and help her our, we’re all family.

FYI… two more posts coming up today so be sure to check back and another Dear BMWK dealing with child support will be on the blog tomorrow, you don’t want to miss it!

About the author

Lamar Tyler wrote 2220 articles on this blog.

Lamar Tyler is co-creator BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. He also is the co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing.

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