Should You Treat Your Husband Like a 2-year-old?

BY: - 11 Sep '09 | Relationships

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by Tara Pringle Jefferson

My co-worker and I were talking about how we wanted our husbands to help us around the house ““ and with the kids ““ more.

She told how her husband surprised her by making dinner, cleaning up the kitchen and then taking out the trash.

“I totally went overboard with the praise,” she said. “I was literally clapping my hands and praising him like I do with our son when he pees in the toilet. I was all, “˜Good job! I’m so proud of you!'”

We laughed about how hard we praise our husbands in an effort to get him to do more of what we want ““ but maybe I realized she was on to something. No man wants to be treated like a child, but what if we showed the same enthusiasm to our spouse that we show to our kids whenever they do something they think is noteworthy?

About the author

Lamar Tyler wrote 2218 articles on this blog.

Lamar Tyler is co-creator BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. He also is the co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing.

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10 WordPress comments on “Should You Treat Your Husband Like a 2-year-old?

  1. Rob

    No we shouldn’t treat like 2 years olds but you shouldn’t have to ask your spouse to clean the house. They get treated as such because wives are replacement mothers. It burns my hide that I have to mention taking out the trash, folding throws in the living room, or wiping the table after he makes a sandwich; but believe you me if I don’t he won’t.

  2. Ronnie

    I think showing your appreciation is good all of the time. But I think my husband would see right through me if I went over board on the praise like I would do for a young child. I think it would be kind of insulting.

  3. Lamar Post author

    I think that you’ll find out it will backfire on you 9 times out of 10. Just acknowledge it and keep it moving, I think that would go a lot farther. What I’ve heard in some married men conversations is that when they do something like that their wives will do what you said, go overboard with the hype which is patronizing or the opposite of telling them yes you did this but it’s not right and this is how I do it… and neither is appreciated. Just my 2 cents. When Ronnie just acknowledges something that’s good enough for me and if she doesn’t that’s cool too because that’s not why I’m doing it but it is the icing on the cake.

  4. Tara

    I think treating your husband like a 2-year-old is a bit much, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me emphasizing to my husband how much I appreciate what he does around the house, not just giving him a quick “Oh, thanks.”

    I’ve found that more praise is better. Not necessarily, “Oh my goodness!!!! YOU WASHED THE DISHES!!!! WHAT A BIG STRONG HUSBAND YOU ARE!!!” LOL. But a simple, “Oh, you folded the clothes for me? You know how much I hate doing that – thanks sweetie!”

    My husband sees through it too if I go overboard, so a real subtle, simple thank you like the one I just mentioned goes over a lot better…

  5. Yolanda (The Queen)

    Treating your husband like a two-year old will do one of three things:
    1. Enable him to operate as if he’s your son
    2. Insult his intelligence and his manhood
    3. Both of the above

    Have mature, Christ-centered conversations about household decisions and needs with your husband. Treat him like the man that he is. Then, watch him rise to the occassion. I did…PRAISE GOD!

  6. Anna

    Should You Treat Your Husband Like a 2-year-old?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Only if he acts like one. LOL. Really though if you do this(not sure why you would want to)it will only backfire. I never treated my 2 yr. old like a 2 yr. old. Keep treating him like a 2 yr. old and you will end up like Jon and Kate plus 8 = divorce.

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Why You Need To Have a Date Night

BY: - 14 Sep '09 | Relationships

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by Tara Pringle Jefferson

Before we had kids, I took our dates for granted. I would think nothing of it when my then-boyfriend, now-husband suggested we hit Olive Garden on Friday, or swing by the local Mexican joint on a Saturday.

Now? We have to find a babysitter, get them there (or have them come over), find some decent going out clothes to throw on, and that’s if we’re not too tired from working all week.

But when we do manage to go out, it’s magic. It reminds me of why I fell for him in the first place – why we still work together after all these years, two kids and a mortgage. We try to get out at least once a month, twice if we can swing it.

It’s in those moments that we can truly catch up, without the noise, the distractions, the pressures of being Mommy and Daddy. We’re just Tara and Thomas and it’s in those moments that we truly shine. When he lets me order a dish I haven’t tried before, he’s always willing to let me nibble at his plate when it turns out I hate it. It’s the little things like that that remind me how caring he is. Those things usually get drowned out by the cries of “Mommy, Mommmmmmy!”

BMWK family – how often do you have date night? Do you wish you were able to do it more? What’s keeping you from doing it?

About the author

Lamar Tyler wrote 2218 articles on this blog.

Lamar Tyler is co-creator BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. He also is the co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing.

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