What’s Your Ringtone for Your Spouse?

BY: - 12 Apr '10 | Relationships

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by Tara Pringle Jefferson

For the longest time (about two years or so) every time my husband called me, my cell phone would bust out Alicia Keys’ “If I Ain’t Got You,” starting right at the chorus. “‘Cause some people want it all, but I don’t want nothing at all, if it ain’t you, baby, if I ain’t got you, baby. Some people want diamond rings, some just want everything, but everything means nothing if I ain’t got you.”

Every single time I hear that song, I remember the times when we lived in a little 20×20 apartment with a newborn, struggling to get groceries, or put gas in my car. But you know what? I was HAPPY living in that itty bitty apartment because he was there with me. It didn’t matter.

So AK has the anthem on my phone. I heard Usher’s “There Goes My Baby” a couple weeks ago and I was instantly hooked. Definitely makes up for that “Papers” song – y’all remember I wasn’t feeling that one at all. But this, I like it. It’s still a little edgier, but it’s sweet. It’s a grown man praising his girl. “There goes my baby, loving everything you do. Oh, girl, look at you!”

Of course I had to put in the request.

Me: Honey, have you heard that new Usher song?

Husband: Which one?

Me: Um, “There Goes My Baby”

Husband: *thinks for a minute* Yeah, I heard it. I think.

Me: What do you think of when you hear that song?

Husband: *thinks again* Um, it’s better than “Papers”?

Me: *sighing, wishing we didn’t think so much alike ALL the time* Yes, but besides that?

Husband: *finally getting where I’m going* Oh, you. I think of you.

Me: *not buying it, giving him major side-eye*

Husband: What?

Me: You should make that your ringtone for me.

Husband: *wrinkles his face* What? You can’t pick a song for me….

Me: But I think of you, thinking of me when I hear that song.

Husband: *side-eye*

So around and around we go. I’ll let you know what we did in the comments. Let the BMWK family weigh in. What’s your ringtone for your spouse? How did you pick it? Is the wife allowed to pick the song or vice versa?

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.

About the author

Tara Pringle Jefferson wrote 277 articles on this blog.

Tara Pringle Jefferson is managing editor of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. She\'s also the author of Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating The Career You Crave. Follow her on Twitter or check out her blog for her insights on what it means to be a mom, wife, student, writer, and about three other labels she\'s too tired to remember.

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  • http://www.mrsday.com MrsDay

    Mine is “Tru Love” by Faith Evans.
    .-= MrsDay´s last blog ..There Is Strength In Words =-.

  • http://www.djednice.com Ed (@DJEdNice)

    Lol… I don’t know and can’t purport to speak for men as a whole, but in my experience, that much thought doesn’t go into ring-tones. I don’t have a ring-tone for my Mrs. Now that I think about it, I don’t have any ring-tones loaded on my BB; besides the fact that my phone is on vibrate most of the time…

    I know I’m boring, it’s ok :)
    .-= Ed (@DJEdNice)´s last blog ..SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE VOLUME 6 =-.

  • http://brothatech.com Brotha Tech

    The only personal ringtone I have is when I get a call from our home number – It’s a voice mail message of Mrs. Tech coaxing Lil’ Tech to say “Hi Daddy; I love you; can’t wait till you get home” in the message. Lil’ Tech nails the first two comments, but quickly resorts to the baby talk in order to the last statement out.
    .-= Brotha Tech´s last blog ..Why Ill wait to jump on the 3D TV bandwagon =-.

  • Kisha

    Your conversation at the end is so funny and exactly what I did when I heard the song especially since I have there goes my baby by charlie wilson is it … for him. Thought it would be ‘cute’ for us to have there goes my baby for each other.

  • Christina

    My song is that new Monica “Everything to me”. his used to be the same, but I think it changed last week.

  • http://gods-man.blogspot.com Carlton

    We only ever use the ringtones that come installed on our phones, however we always pick the one that we want on each others phone.
    .-= Carlton´s last blog ..God’s Man | Job 29 | The Blessed Home =-.

  • http://www.allianceediting.com Nikki

    Our ringtone for each other is “Dangerously in Love” by Beyonce. Ever since we both heard the song, we decided simultaneously that we wanted it as our ringtone and it stuck. I don’t think we’ll change it anytime soon, but he has the choice on his ringtone if he chooses to change it.

  • Fran

    i will always be there for you by ANQUETTE which was my song for him when we first met, used to jam it when we were together or apart. he does not have one for me,thinks its to cheesy i guess lol but for those of you who husband does have a ringtone for you awwwwwww!!

  • Staycee2

    I feel so bad to tell you what my ringtone for him is….but here it goes. REGRET by LeToya Luckett! We were fighting when I assigned that ringtone for his incoming calls n never changed it! The only ringtones he has is the standard ringtones that came with his phone!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Suzette

    My ringtone for my husband is a sexy jazz number that’s really nice! I don’t think we should dictate what our husbands ringtone should be, or vice versa. As long as whatever he picks for me is something that I would like when I heard it. I’m cool with it. I think picking each others ringtone is too far.

  • http://blackandmarriedwithchildren Mrs. Pryor

    I like for my husband to pick the ringtone by himself instead of me picking it for me and vice versa. He is a big rap and hip-hop fan so just recently when he called his phone from my phone to locate it, it rang “my chick bad” by ludacris which made me very confident. My song for him is “back to the way we were” by London.

  • Fran

    @ staycee2 dont feel alone on your tone, when me and hubby fight i will change his ringtone to when a womans fed up by r kelly and forget to change it back sometimes too, but i try to change it after we are done as quick as possible… i wondered if i was the only one lol

  • Kimberly May

    The only ringtone that I have ever tolerated on my cell phone is for my hubby, and it’s “Words” by India Arie & Anthony David.

    “…Can’t tell you nothing you ain’t already heard
    No matter what I say it’s nothing but words
    Just let me prove to you what I know is real
    Let me express to you the way that I feel”

  • http://theyoungmommylife.com Tara @ The Young Mommy Life

    LOL @ some of these responses. :)

    In the end, I’m just going to use the Usher ringtone as the one I hear when he calls. He assigned some song for me (I never heard it before) but it’s cute. It’s about loving someone forever and ever, so I’m cool with that. :)
    .-= Tara @ The Young Mommy Life´s last blog ..it aint about babies =-.

  • http://www.ajadorseyjackson.com Aja

    “I think of you, thinking of me when I hear that song”..This made me LOL.
    Neither one of us use personalized ringtonges though. I think our phones are always on vibrate.

  • Damaras

    I have “Chocolate High” by India. Arie and Musiq Soulchild. I asked him to add “I just called to say I love you” by Stevie Wonder. I don’t think he ever did. But it definitely brings a smile to my face when I hear the ringtone for his call. My husband works at night. So for my wake up alarm in the morning, my phone plays “Good Morning” by John Legend.
    Good morning,
    Good morning love,
    It’s my favorite love song,
    I waited all night long,
    For morning,
    Good morning love
    Before we start the day dear,
    Im whispering in your ear,
    Good morning
    Nice way to start the day in my husband’s absence.

  • http://www.baby4two.blogspot.com Lisa

    I don’t have a ringtone for my Mr. but I know he has “Miss Independent” by Ne-yo as his ringtone for me. Not sure if there’s something underlying there….LOL! No husband wants their wife to be TOO independent!
    .-= Lisa´s last blog ..311 Days of Parenthood =-.

  • Niesha

    My ringtone for my husband is Game Over by Destiny’s Child….just love the chorus! It’s been this for a while and it makes me smile everytime he calls.

    Ain’t no one like you
    That makes me wanna
    Kiss like you
    Nobody ever could handle this
    Like you
    For anybody askin’
    The game is over

  • MissJay

    My ringtone for my husband is “Heaven Must Be Like This” by the Ohio Players. I’m so old school! LOL But I love it. It comes in right before the chorus:
    “…your love is devine..
    Heaven be like this, it must be like this..
    (Heaven must be..)heaven must be like this, it must be like this..”

    Either I answer or it cuts off before going on. When we were dating I had Boyz II Men’s “That’s Why I Love You” off the “Full Circle” album. Check it out, it’s a beautiful song!

  • Bryan

    Picking a ringtone for your husband’s phone, that is just silly. The man can pick his own ringtone. Women, stop trying to think for your men and dictate his every move. As long as he picks up the phone when he answers, be satisfied. It kills me how much we focus on such little things and they are usually the wrong things. Except for what came installed on the phone, my wife and I don’t have ringtones. And as someone who usually doesn’t answer his phone in general, my wife understands that her call is the only one I’ll always answer. That’s what is important.

  • http://theyoungmommylife.com Tara @ The Young Mommy Life

    @Bryan – You’re right – it is silly. But in reading some of these responses, I have some new love songs to go check out. I’m not saying that it is SOOOOO important for me to pick his ringtone. It’s almost beside the point. What the song conveys is more important. :)
    .-= Tara @ The Young Mommy Life´s last blog ..it aint about babies =-.

  • Ladybugg

    I have Chocolate High, by India.Arie and Musiq for my husband.

  • Anna

    I don’t have a ring tone for anyone, it just beeps once. I hate the sound of a phone ringing. I also get tired when I am at work making a call and I have to listen to a whole song to leave a messege. LOL. My husbands ring tone for me is “Computer Love”. Go figure. My daughter has the same song on her cell for both me and her dad. I aksed why, she said because I know it’s one of my parents. LOL. I’t Genuine’s Love You More”.(I just called her. I didn’t now what song she had). How sweet of her to pick that song for her parents.

  • http://home.live.com/ eddie brite

    I use classic bell for everybody. Caller ID lets me know if I want to answer or let it go to voice mail.

  • Anna

    eddie brite April 13, 2010 at 9:20 pm
    I use classic bell for everybody. Caller ID lets me know if I want to answer or let it go to voice mail.
    ~~~~~~~~~
    I really do need to add some type of tones. I can’t see my screen w/out my glasses, once I answered my phone and it was someone I just didn’t feel like talkig to at the moment. I learned my lesson though, keep my glasses nearby. LOL.

  • Jonesi

    @Tara – I completely get what you were saying in your post. It isn’t a big deal yet it’s something fun to banter over. I’m not really into ringtones anymore but I remember one time I called my husbands phone for some reason and was pleasantly surprised to hear “Isn’t She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder. My heart melted because honestly he didn’t have to take time to even do it…oh and in the early stages my tone was “You Should Let Me Love You” by Mario :-)

    Staceey and Fran yall are FUNNY!!!! HAHAHA Regret is the JAM!

  • Staycee2

    @ Fran & Jonesi, I luv that song and he has no idea that’s his ringtone!!!!! But I must say, after reading this I changed it to “The Best In Me” by Marvin Sapp. Although, I must say if he had his choice he would have my tone as Usher’s U Got It Bad!!!! IJUSTLUVMESUMHIM!!!!!!!!!

  • http://2blessed2bebound.blogspot.com LJ

    This is too funny (and cute)! I haven’t done personalized ringtones in my phone in the last few years, but I keep meaning to again! My favorite one was a special recording he made for me – “Heyyyyyy baby, it’s ya main man Mac. What’s up, what’s up WHAZZZUP?” I think it’s still saved on my old phone, I might try to use it again!

  • Harmonee

    @Staycee2: My ringtone for the hubby is “I Love Me Some Him” by Toni Braxton…lol. ūüėČ

  • chivalry35244

    My wifes ringtone is love calls by kem. Thinking about changing it to your all I need by marvin and tammy

  • http://none Ruby Griffin

    my ringtone for my spouse is, ms. Patti and mr.micheal….On my own….

  • Martina

    My ringtone for my husband is Monica’s My Everything. It was If this isn’t love by J Hudson. I update it every couple of months. I don;t think you should pick the others ringtone . It should be a song that he or she thinks describes the other.

  • Tonia

    My ringtone for my hubby is “For You” by Kenny Lattimore. It was the song for our first dance at our wedding.

  • http://trancemusicdownload.info Trance Music

    I enjoyed your post and am saving the feed for future posts. Thanks!

  • KC

    ‘I cant stop loving you’ by Kem!!! Thats my joint!!!

  • Brokenbandsofgold

    If You Were Here Tonight by Alexander O’Neal because we love that song. But also because I love the line “If you could only read my mind, you’d know how much I do believe…” Since being separated, I’ve had to rely on my beliefs and faith. A lot!

  • Felicia Mason

    I used to have Motivation by Kelly Williams (for very personal reason…lets just say I overstand what the meaning of that song is about) but just this past week end I changed it to Knight Rider….because he is my Knight Rider…he has a robot voice telling him that his wife is trying to reach him on his cellular device.

  • april

    This is too funny….a joke me and my husband have always had, i like his butt, i think its sexy. he says im gay..lol. i Say im not gay cuz i only like your bootie..lol. So hi Ringtone is “In Love Wit Cha Bootie” by John Blu Ft. Jeremih, Will (of day 26), Ben One & Slick. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

  • Anson Owen

    This story is humorous to me. Simply because my ringtone for my wife is ‘there my baby’ the first time I heard it I immediately thought of my wife I had to have it. I chose it not her, and I choose all the ringtones for my phone that reminds me of her, that’s how it should be.

  • Dorothy

    My ringtone for my husband is “I Love Me Some Him” by Toni Braxton. Enough said!

  • KEENYA

    SADLY, MY RINGTONE FOR MY HUSBAND IS FOOL FOR YOU BY CEE-LO AND HIS RINGTONE FOR ME IS BITTERSWEET BY FANTASIA. ;(

  • Michele Smith

    My ringtone for my hubby is ~DANCE FOR YOU~ BY BEYONCE

  • Sumitra Dean

    My ringtone from my husband is blah for me & the ringtone for my husband’s ex-wife Is wedding bells what the heck! My ringtone for him Is the man I wanna by by Chris Young bc Thats the man I hope & pray I inspire him to be

  • http://lubov-morkof.ru/?list13=3662 THU-60AW60

    kproof Bum

  • http://beton-factory.ru/?list13=8282 袋 非常用持出袋 【防災の日  】

    釣り竿 Flexte

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Two Stupid Things Husbands and Wives Do to Each Other

BY: - 12 Apr '10 | Relationships

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cupidity

Ran across a great article that we wanted to share with you here on the site. It’s adopted from the book Cupidity: 50 Stupid Things People Do for Love and How to Avoid Them. Here’s an exerpt:

Cupidity: where love and stupid meet. ¬†Stupid love”‚ÄĚever experienced it? ¬†Ever wished you hadn’t? ¬†We believe that stupid is as stupid loves. ¬†Think stupid thoughts, and end up with a stupid mind. ¬†Do stupid things, and, well, you get the picture. ¬†But hey, who hasn’t been stupid? ¬†Especially in love.

Most of the time when people experience Cupidity, it’s because of the lies they’ve bought and the truth they’ve not. ¬†Stupid lies, like thinking men and women are basically the same. ¬†You assume they have the same needs, motivations, and desires, so love should be easy. ¬†Just give ’em what you want, and you’ll get back more of the same. ¬†But then you do something like ask him what he’s thinking, or you tell her that something she’s worried about is “no big deal.”¬Ě ¬†And your idea of what the opposite sex is thinking unravels right in front of you.

Every failure at love is just a chance for you to learn more about what not to do.  The following are two examples.

For her:  Loving who you want him to become instead of who he

For him:  Loving who she was instead of who she is


To read the full break down of each topic follow this link and get the full article…


About the author

Lamar Tyler wrote 2213 articles on this blog.

Lamar Tyler is co-creator BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. He also is the co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing.

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