Love Is…

BY: - 3 Sep '10 | Home

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by Aja Dorsey Jackson

One of my favorite teachings about love is found in Corinthians 1:13. Most people have heard this scripture at least once and no matter what your religious beliefs, it speaks to so many things about love that are universal.

I love this scripture because in my opinion it sums up most of what we need to know to love successfully by teaching what love’s foundation truly is. It never once refers to love as being a feeling. It never talks about butterflies in your stomach or warmth and happiness every day. Instead it gives us all of love’s building blocks. It teaches love more as a way to operate than a feeling. To me, it is a checklist. If you break down the elements of the verse and   operate with this foundation in mind, you will learn how to work to truly love your spouse.

Love is patient With patience we understand that some aspects of our relationships will take time to develop.

Love is kind Kindness and love seem like they would just come together naturally but so often that is not the case. Kindness is going out of your way to make your spouse feel valued and appreciated.

It does not envy Jealousy typically either stems from a lack of trust or some type of insecurity within ourselves. It is important to deal with these issues instead of projecting them onto our partners as envy.

Love does not boast I think that we should praise our spouses, sometimes publicly, but bragging about love is a different thing. Express your happiness, but be sure to check your intentions.

Love is not proud When we won’t admit that we’re wrong, or don’t want to apologize, pride is   the culprit behind it. Love means knowing when to be humble.

It is not rude Familiarity doesn’t mean politeness should fly out of the window. Love your spouse by saying please and thank you.

It is not self seeking Translation- it sacrifices. Sometimes in love you have to put your own wants aside to fill the needs of someone else.

It is not easily angered Of course there will be moments that will upset you, but you should be able to let some things slide. Every little moment of irritation shouldn’t result in a fight.

It keeps no record of wrongs This is by far the hardest part for me. True love means forgiveness and true forgiveness means not keeping a tally of everything your spouse has done wrong to bring it up again later. Holding on to anger just allows bitterness to grow.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth Love is honest. Love your spouse by being honest, even when telling the truth feels uncomfortable.

It always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres Love lasts. Through ups and downs, for better or worse, when we get married we promise to love one another through it all.

Of course we are human and won’t show this type of perfect love every moment of every day, but if we use these principles to guide our actions, we can work toward building the type of unconditional love that we expect in marriage.

Do you practice these principles in loving your spouse? Do you have a different favorite passage or saying that helps you to be more loving?

Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and public relations consultant in Baltimore, Maryland. Find out more about her at www.ajadorseyjackson.com or follow her on twitter @ajajackson.

About the author

Aja Dorsey Jackson wrote 207 articles on this blog.

Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and marriage educator in Baltimore, Maryland and author of the blog and book, Making Love in the Microwave.

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13 WordPress comments on “Love Is…

  1. Roger Madison

    Thanks for this post. 1 Corinthians 13 is one of my favorite passages. I also find a complementary passage is helpful in Romans.

    Romans 12:9-20
    9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
    10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
    11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
    12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
    13 Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
    14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
    15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
    16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
    17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
    18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
    19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:
    “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord.
    20 On the contrary:
    “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
    In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

    When understood, love is the most powerful force that affects humans.

    God bless.

  2. Roger Madison

    Thanks for this post. 1 Corinthians 13 is one of my favorite passages. I also find a complementary passage is helpful in Romans.

    Romans 12:9-20
    9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
    10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
    11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
    12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
    13 Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
    14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
    15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
    16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
    17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
    18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
    19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:
    “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord.
    20 On the contrary:
    “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
    In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

    When understood, love is the most powerful force that affects humans.

    God bless.

  3. Christina

    Once in a Bible study, a friend challenged us to put our name where it said “love” as a challenge to whether or not we were operating in love with our spouses and others. It was sobering!

  4. EPayne

    Love is so elusive and so hard to grasp because what most people don’t realize is that love is more an act than the fleeting emotion that being “in love” is. Love carries with it a burden, but love is everlasting, love endures, love seeks out peace, love finds a way when there is none or many doors have been closed, love is disciplined and not to be confused with passions of the heart.

  5. EPayne

    Love is so elusive and so hard to grasp because what most people don’t realize is that love is more an act than the fleeting emotion that being “in love” is. Love carries with it a burden, but love is everlasting, love endures, love seeks out peace, love finds a way when there is none or many doors have been closed, love is disciplined and not to be confused with passions of the heart.

  6. HarrietH

    You’re so right. I just got through reading Gary Chapman’s “The Four Seasons of Marriage,” and he made an awesome statement. He said that REAL love goes beyond the fleeting, euphoric stuff we see in the movies and graduates to being INTENTIONAL. All the things you listed above and what Aja talks about are very intentional. You have to do that kind of stuff on purpose and, like you said, be disciplined about it.

  7. KenS

    Great article!! My favorite scripture about relationship love.

    I think we have an incorrect perception of what love is and is not and this wonderful scripture properly defines what true love is. Our relationships will be blessed, healthier and happier if we approach our relationships with this selfless love that ALWAYS seeks the greater good for another. Another poster made the crucially important point that love is not that just that passionate feeling we get (as that comes and goes) and folks who view these feelings and emotions with true love will often struggle in their relationships as passions go
    up and down (and passions will fluctuate in relationships).

    Love is not only a feeling but is a decision, a choice. I promissed before God to Love my wife for better or WORSE, for richer or POORER, in SICKNESS and in health…till DEATH DO WE PART. That is a promise I made to God and to my wife and true love honors that.

    What I love about this scripture is that it not only tells us what love is, but it just as importantly tells us what love IS NOT…it not only tells what love does but it also tells what love DOES NOT DO. Whenever I feel myself being selfish in my relationships (including family and friendships), I read this scripture to remind myself what true love really is.

  8. Whyte23

    Marriage is something that must be cherished and nourished. I remember to keep the embers burning. Embrace the courtship and continuously reflect and ignite the flames of love. Not the surface infatuated love. The deep unending love that God has prepared for the undefiled marriage bed.
    “Remember marriage is a commitment to God as well as to your partner, soul-mate…and my Queen Gloria! The marriage covenant is not conditional and involves a commitment to each other but also, and more importantly, a commitment to God. It requires a daily trusting in God and in His vision for the marriage as recorded in His Holy Word.
    Love Always WINS!
    Great Posting Aja!

  9. Pingback: An Exercise to Tell Whether Youre Love Operating | Making Love in the Microwave

  10. curse

    I quite like, induce I ran across just what I used to be writing about with regard to. You could have broken my three day time extended seek out! The lord Bless you gentleman. Possess a great working day. L8rs

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Sponsored Post: The Five Most Innovative Moms

BY: - 7 Sep '10 | Home

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When you think about women that have been innovative moms who comes to mind? We were asked to come up with our list and this is who came to mind in no particular order. Check out the trailblazers below then let us know who would be on your list.

  1. Madame   C.J. Walker: Madame C.J. Walker was an African-American businesswoman, hair care entrepreneur and philanthropist. She made her fortune by developing and marketing a hugely successful line of beauty and hair products for black women under the company she founded, Madam C.J. Walker Manufacturing Company. She was the first African American millionaire and   To learn more about her you can go here.
  2. Coretta Scott King: Coretta Scott King was an American author, activist, and civil rights leader. The widow of Martin Luther King, Jr., Coretta Scott King helped lead the African-American Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s. Mrs. King’s most prominent role may have been in the years after her husband’s 1968 assassination when she took on the leadership of the struggle for racial equality herself and became active in the Women’s Movement. To learn more about her you can go here.
  3. Mocha Moms Founders: The women who founded the Mocha Moms organization in Prince Georges County Maryland started with the desire to form a support group for mothers of color who had chosen not to work full-time outside of the home in order to devote more time to their families and communities. Since 1997 the group has branched out across the country with chapters that welcome all religions, races, educational backgrounds and income levels. For more info on Mocha Moms you can go here.
  4. Cathy Hughes: Born Catherine Elizabeth Woods in Omaha, Nebraska on April 22, 1947, is an American entrepreneur, radio and television personality and business executive. Ms. Hughes is the founder of both Radio One and TV One. In true innovator fashion she heads companies in heavily male dominated industries. To learn more about her you can go here.
  5. Judy W. Reed: Judy W. Reed, of Washington, D.C., was the first African American woman inventor to receive a patent. Reed may not have been able to sign her name, but she may be the first African American woman to receive a patent. Signed with an “X,” patent no. 305,474, granted September 23, 1884, is for a dough kneader and roller.

Who would be on your list of the five most innovative moms?

America’s first 4G phone is also the first to deliver download speeds up to 10x faster than 3G and be a mobile hotspot for up to eight Wi-Fi enabled devices.    Not to mention front and rear-facing cameras and the ability to stream live video to the Web.    And you get access to over 65,000 apps you’ve come to expect from an Android.    So the only question is, what will you do first with EVO? sprint.com/firsts

“Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Sprint via Glam Media”

“The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Sprint”

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Lamar Tyler wrote 2229 articles on this blog.

Lamar Tyler is co-creator BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. He also is the co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing.

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