by Latoya Irving
In marriage there is a certain order in the household. God is first, then spouse, then kids. A lot of people have a problem with that order. Some want to put their spouse before God, some want the kids before the spouse, some want God only when He is needed. Let’s take a look at how the home should be.
1. GOD-The reason God has to come first is because He has to be first in our lives. The Word says there shall be no other gods before Him. Gods can mean your job, your kids, and your spouse, maybe even yourself. God is where we get direction for our lives.
2. SPOUSE- I know some of you want to put your kids before your spouse, but putting your spouse first means putting yourself first also since you both are now one. This does not mean you don’t love or care for your kids; this is just the order. This may be harder for parents who brought children into the marriage. If you trust your spouse with your heart, trust them with your children and don’t allow your kids to manipulate the situation. Husbands, you are supposed to love your wife like Christ loves the Church. Wives, you are to respect your husbands. If you feel this will be difficult, pray, pray, pray. God will show you what to do.
3. CHILDREN- Now comes the kids. You are to raise them the way they are supposed to go and when they are old, they won’t forget. Your role as parents is to teach them rules, how to love and worship God, how to learn and grow into adults. It’s very important for kids to see the parents united, whether natural or stepparents. Don’t let your kids guilt trip you by saying you love your spouse more than them. One day your child will be an adult and will marry also, and then hopefully they will know how the order of the house is supposed to be.
Keep in mind that direction comes from God. How will your kids know which way to go if you don’t know? How can you teach them if you first don’t learn? I’m sure you remember while on a flight, the flight attendants tell you in case of an emergency, you are to give yourself oxygen first, then your child. You have to breathe first so your can help your child breathe. This is not selfish, but necessary. The order of the house is not selfish, it is necessary. This is God’s plan; He knows what is best. Once your house is in order, you will see a smoother flow in the home. You will run into some turbulence every now and then, but as long as there is order, God can work the situation.
LaToya Irving is a wife, mother and former Air Force brat.