8 Ways To Be A Better Wife

BY: - 16 Mar '12 | Marriage

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by Valerie Wooten

1. Keep It Fresh
Remember when you and your man were dating and you were extra careful not to do anything in front of him that would be embarrassing or cause him to raise his eyebrow at you? What you didn’t do while you’re dating, don’t do it now that you’re married. The same things you did to attract your husband are the same things you have to do to keep him. There’s nothing wrong with getting comfortable around him; he has seen the good, the bad, and the ugly (if he was in the delivery room), but you don’t want to get so comfortable that you forget he’s still a man. If you didn’t do it in front of him when you were dating, don’t do it in front of him now.
2. Dressing Up
You may be busy and have a lot of things going on, so putting on a dress and strutting around may be on the bottom of your To-Do list (if it’s even up there at all) but this is very important for your marriage. I’m not talking about dressing up just on special occasions or Sundays for church. Pick any time to dress up-going to the grocery store (with him of course), going out to dinner, or just sitting at home. It’s possible to be comfortable and cute. Your husband needs to see you all dolled up at least a couple times a week. Your husband comes in contact with nice looking women every day. He should be able to come home and see his wife looking better than what he’s seen all day.

3. Have A Date Night
Sometime during the week go somewhere together. It doesn’t have to be every week but at least a couple times a month. Just the two of you (no kids), where both of you get dressed up and spend time with each other. Don’t make a big issue about where you’re going or what you’re going to be doing. You could take a stroll in the park, see a movie, or go to a fancy restaurant. The point is to get that date feeling back. Remember when you couldn’t wait to go on a date to see your then boyfriend? Same concept.

4. Something Special
Do something special for your man-romance him! We tend to expect that from our husbands but what about reversing the role and doing it for him? On your way home from work, pick up his favorite candy, food, or beverage. On a more personal note, write him a love letter. Telling him you love him and that you appreciate what he does is one thing, but seeing the words on paper are totally different. There’s nothing like opening up a letter and reading what someone significant has handwritten about you. Yes, HANDWRITTEN!!! This looks more sincere because you took the time to write it out versus typing it on the computer. And an even bigger gesture would be to put it in the mailbox addressed to your husband. These are just examples but the point is to do something nice for your husband every once in awhile, besides the usual holidays and special occasions.

5. Make Your House His Castle
Make your home a place your husband likes to go home to. Your home should be your husband’s breath of fresh air. He should love to come home even if there’s 5 kids running around, the house is a mess, and your hair is a mess. He should still want to come home. Make your home that place. Whatever you need to do to get this done, do it! An example: wear something you would never walk out of the house in as you’re cleaning. When he gets home, the house is clean, his dinner is ready and he is thinking about the many ways to get you up out of that dress. He’ll probably be looking for Round 2 the day after. Another example is to decorate to make your house feel warm and inviting. Candles, curtains, pillows, 1500 count Egyptian sheets”...whatever you feel will make the house feel like home.

6. Together As One
Don’t allow anything to come between you and your husband–work, children, or family. There’s nothing more powerful than you two working and flowing together. That is when 2 becomes 1-when the two of you flow together with little to no effort. At the end of the day, it’s your husband whom you will share yourself with for the rest of your life. You won’t work forever, your children will grow up and your family has their lives to live. So live yours with the one who wants to live it with you.

7. Tell Me And I’ll Tell You

If you give your husband what he needs, he will give you what you need. Without the communication, your husband won’t know what you need from him, so you have to tell him. You should also be willing to listen when he tells you his needs. Listening and following through. He needs you just as much as you need him. No hints–just talk and listen!

8. Swallow Your Pride

Marriage is not all about you. It’s about helping your husband become the best person he can be. If you’re not contributing to your spouse, then you’re taking away from them. Remember that you’re not going to be right all the time, you’re not going to say the right things all the time, and you’re not going to be the best spouse all the time–and that’s ok. Be honest with yourself and admit when you’re wrong. This will help in arguments. You’ll spend less time having them and more time making up! Be humble and ask your husband for help. That’s what he’s there for. You have to let your husband know that you do need him. He will know this when you ask him to do things for you.

Valerie has been writing since the age of 11 and even after a marriage and 2 children, her dreams of becoming a writer has not slowed down. She is  currently obtaining her bachelor’s degree in professional writing and working two books, including a book  about marriage titled, It’s Marriage, Not Magic. This article is an  excerpt from that book. She blogs at Ms. Reality Check.  


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BMWK Staff wrote 1250 articles on this blog.

Content and articles from the staff and guest contributors of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com


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9 WordPress comments on “8 Ways To Be A Better Wife

  1. akaninyene i essien

    pls i send me some of dis cos i need to know n also teacher me sisther we need to know all dis b4 we get married, i want to be d best father, love my wife n my kids, n every one aroung me, thanks

  2. Jaz

    Great article. I have done some of things in many ways. If my marriage pulls through and while we are going through the storms, I will keep these things in mind and do them.

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Still Standing Ticket Update: Atlanta Tickets Available, DC Moving Fast!

BY: - 16 Mar '12 | Documentary

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We must admit that we broke down. We were receiving so many requests for info on the Atlanta screening that we put the tickets on sale early. For our Atlanta BMWK family we’re hoping that you’ll join us on Thursday, May 3rd at the Midtown Art Cinema theaters to see our new film Still Standing.Tickets were not supposed to go on sale until next month but the entrepreneur in me couldn’t keep telling people to check back later LOL.

For our DC Area BMWK family, if you intend on going to the Black Marriage Day premiere of Still Standing at the Publick Playhouse in Cheverly, MD you need to make a move. Tickets for the DC area are moving fast just as we expected. We are truly excited because we’ve never sold this many tickets for a screening this early out. The last screening that we had at the Publick Playhouse was for the premiere of You Saved Me in 2010 and we sold out before the box office opened that day so we’re expecting the same results this time around. There are still tickets available but we repeat do not wait until the last minute to purchase!

Scroll down to purchase your tickets today and to view the official trailer for Still Standing.



STILL STANDING: Official Trailer

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Lamar Tyler wrote 2229 articles on this blog.

Lamar Tyler is co-creator BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. He also is the co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing.


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