7 Things I Want in My Marriage That My Parents Have After 48 Years

BY: - 24 Jul '12 | Marriage

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Last week I shared something on my Facebook page that amazed and inspired me. Something I hope all married couples get to experience.  What is this that has me so amazed and inspired?  My parents’ 48th wedding anniversary!  Their marriage has accomplished what we all desire in marriage, by beating the odds and statistics of failed marriages.

It was a blessing to grow up under a marriage that would eventually last 48+ years.  As I thought about it, and was encouraged to share, I began to see some of the things that will help encourage me in my marriage, as well as other couples.

Just like my marriage and yours, my parents’ marriage was not  without trials.  Over the years they experienced many challenges (besides raising kids like me that didn’t always listen, or do what they were supposed to do).  Through it all, there are many things in their marriage to be desired, and many things that younger couples can work toward.

Every one of our marriages has it’s challenges.  Just as well, every one of our marriages can stand the test of time, and be enjoyable, fruitful, and worth everything!  I encourage you to sit down with your spouse and go over this list.  Work on getting these 7 things in your marriage today, so when 48 years comes around you will have something great, that is beneficial to all those who have witnessed it.

Are there any marriages that have inspired you, and your marriage?  If so, how have they done so?

This inspired my list of 7 Things I Want in My Marriage That My Parents Had.

1. Stability

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My parents live in the same house today, that I grew up in. We moved into that house when I was 6 years old. To my knowledge there was never any threat of us not living in that house together. As a teenager, when I stayed out past my curfew, I knew I could and would go home to my family in that house. When my siblings and I came home on break from college, we all knew where we'd stay. Even today when my wife, and our 3 kids go to our hometown we never get a hotel room, because we know there is a place for us. That stability creates a great foundation.

About the author

Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. wrote 62 articles on this blog.

Jackie is an author, blogger, and speaker who helps men better love their wives and lead their families. He is the creator of The 7 Rings of Marriage™. You can receive his latest BMWK posts in your inbox, plus his latest marriage and parenting posts from around the web by subscribing to his weekly newsletter!


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33 WordPress comments on “7 Things I Want in My Marriage That My Parents Have After 48 Years

  1. Felecia

    Great article! I agree. Although unmarried, I aspire to be a wife one day and I too grew up in a home where loved dwelled and they literally lived out “til death do us part” It ‘s a blessing to see such love, care and unselfishness between two people. It was a great example for me.

  2. jbledsoejr

    Thanks Felecia! Yes, and sometimes those things are taken for granted, but as the stats say, almost as many marriages do not make it, as the number that do. I’m glad my parents did, and I’m able to pull some things out that can bless my marriage.

  3. Sheree Adams

    This was a beautiful article! Not only are they a great couple, they’re great parents, too! Its very apparent that you’re proud of them, as I’m sure they are of you. So wonderful and such a blessing!

  4. JoycelynJ

    Great article and yes I understand what a blessing it is to have parents who have set a pattern for us “younger ones” to follow. This past November (2011) my parents celebrated 50 years together with a vow renewal with all our family and friends. Although they are definitely special in my mind, I found this was not unusual for our family there were at 4 other couples in my family who has passed the 50 year mark in addition to my great grandparents who were married 68 years before my great grandfather passed. I thank God for such a legacy and strive to achieve the same. Its been 21 years for my marriage and it just gets better with time.

    1. Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. Post author

      Thanks JoycelynJ! What a great thing and great idea of a vow renewal to celebrate and commemorate your parents 50th! God has an annointing on the marriages in your family, and has shown His favor. That is really awesome! Thanks for sharing!

  5. KAS II

    Thank you. My parents are in the late 40’s too of their marriage. When I was younger I wanted a different marriage b/c they seem to argue a lot, but that’s just how they communicated then. To watch their marriage, friendship & spirits grow has been inspiring, and I would love to have just a tenth of what they have. My family has also been blessed with several other 25+ marriages. Unfortunately, my generation only has a couple, but I’m still hopeful for us.

    1. Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. Post author

      My pleasure! By me writing this article, I was able to see a lot of good in my parents marriage. After reading this, my mom actually told me it helped her to see more of the good things as well. So sometimes we just don’t realize what we have as we focus on some of the challenges, but solving and working through those challenges (growth) is a blessing. And appreciating all that comes from our marriages is as well. Congrats on your parents marriage, and the other couples that are 25+ years in marriage. Like you, my wife and I are hoping we can be a part of many couples of our generation that last and have great marriages. Thanks for sharing.

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  7. JLove

    Im happy to say, my parents are celebrated their 25 years anniversary next year in June. They are doing another wedding and renewing their vows. It makes me happy and look forward to the same thing in my marriage. They love each other so much it is so adorable. I see the way my father looks at my mom and it makes my heart melt. Sometimes they sit and laugh at their own jokes.Love should be that way at all times. You have to fight and sacrifice for it to be substantial in the long run. So many couples want to quit before they see the fruit of their labor. Happy marriages doesnt happen overnight it is a process. Being 30 years old I do see that my mom and dad have change but in a good way. There were obstacles and the most beautiful thing that I saw in their relationship is although life may have thrown them a curve ball here and there, what kept them together was each other love. May God bless all marriages and may they have longevity as well.

  8. Jere Thomas

    This is great! Most couples do not know the great service they do their children when they resolve to make their marriages work. Having been happily married for almost 40 years, we can sense our children’s pride and gratitude when they talk to their friends about us. We hope their generation will learn from us.

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  12. Dana Holden

    I think this article is an excellent read for all couples (married, engaged, or dating)! Although my parents’ marriage only lasted 20 years, I’ve been blessed to witness my great-grandparents’, both sets of grandparents and several great-aunt/uncles marriages last until “death do we part”. At 37 years old and having been married to my BFF for almost 12 years now, we aspire to be that couple you describe and that example not only for our two kids but for any and all couples and children we come in contact with who may not have that example of a healthy, happy yet typical marriage.

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Let Him Look and Admire You

BY: - 25 Jul '12 | Intimacy

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A common belief is that men are visual creatures. More so than women, they are enticed by what they see. I don’t know if this stereotype has been scientifically proven, making it a fact. What I do know from experience and observation is that men like to look. That’s all the more reason for wives to give their husband’s something to look at.

So, here’s the question: Why do some women hide themselves in marriage?

They get dressed in the closet.

They undress in the dark.

They wrap up immediately after a shower.

They mask their bodies in sweats and t-shirts.

The more they cover themselves the less their husbands have to look at and to admire.

My husband told me early in our marriage he liked to look at me and expected to do so: “If I married you, then I have a right to look at you, when I want and how much I want.”

Only a foolish woman would argue with that. And, if she did, she would be going against what God states explicitly about our bodies in marriage: “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:4). What this scripture means is that marriage is about give and take, and part of what we give is our body to our spouse. As wives, we give our husbands the visual stimuli they need to address their sense of sight. When a man has a wife, there is no need for peep shows, strip clubs, or other visual stimuli beyond the wife’s body.

So, yes, it is my responsibility to give my husband something to look at and fantasize about. . . and that something or someone is ME. A husband who desires to look at his wife, whether dressing or undressing, lounging on the sofa, or doing housework in his line of sight, is a husband who appreciates what he has.

To look says I like, I want, I love. Isn’t that a blessing?

The challenge, then, for us wives is this: as our bodies change with time and child birth, we must maintain a positive body image and get free from whatever makes us hide from the one we should be totally free with.   If our men desire to see us – all of us – then we should desire to let him look.

Okay ladies, what’s your take on men needing visual stimuli? What’s the wife’s role in this?

About the author

Dr. Michelle Johnson wrote 76 articles on this blog.

Dr. Michelle Johnson is the founder of Alabaster Woman Ministries, an online international women's ministry. She is a wife, mother, writer, speaker, teacher. Through her daily blog, online radio show, and video Bible studies, Dr. Michelle encourages women and married couples to make God the center of their lives.


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