All I Want Is a Big Booty Girl

BY: - 20 Aug '12 | Parenting

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By Armani Valentino

“All I want for my birthday is a big booty girl.” A little after 10:30am this morning; while driving to the office, these were the words that I heard come across the airwaves on my local radio station.

The song is the latest radio release from 2 Chainz featuring Kanye West, both 35 year old men. And”...Tasheed Epps aka 2 Chainz, actually has a daughter and is respected by his family and peers. Both of these rappers are two of my favorite rappers for different reasons. However, when I sat in the car in jaw dropping disbelief that the artists could make this song, the record label could submit it to radio, and that the radio stations would actually play it, totally left me dumbfounded.

This is when I said, “Enough is enough!” There hasn’t been a group effort from the hip-hop generation concerning the continuous decline of “class & creativity” of the songs on the air, let alone the total disrespect and disgrace of the black woman. While many may complain in our private conversations and feel that there is nothing that can be done about it, I think the days for our generation thinking like that are over.

There have been too many people that have put their lives on the line for us to keep letting this happen on my watch and say absolutely nothing about it.

The words following the first words I mentioned were, “When I die bury me inside the booty club.” In 2007, when I lived in Oklahoma City, I went to 5th Street Baptist Church. This is the church where Kanye West held his mother’s funeral services and the church that his late grandmother attended. As I listened to the song, I thought to myself, “There is no way his mother or grandmother would be pleased with this song.” I don’t know any respectable man or woman that would be pleased with this from their child.

This is the same guy that was well respected for being one of the voices in the hip hop generation that we could depend upon to remind us of who we are, and how we should be steadily increasing our life and service to others. A perfect example of the Kanye West that his true fans loved would be his songs, “All Falls Down, Jesus Walks, Through the Wire, & many others.” And while this is not about Kanye West or 2 Chainz individually, this is about entertainers from our generation being able to hold to some standards. It is also about having some limits on just how far we’ll go for another dollar.

It seems to me that our generation, the hip-hop generation, has become totally desensitized to the public disgrace of women and black women in particular. It also seems that as long as a paycheck is attached to something we are willing to say and do anything; even at the detriment of others.

Black women feel disrespected as a whole, and I definitely see why. This disrespect also negatively effects the black man’s position in the world and the perception of us as a whole in the eyes of civilized society.

Balance must be restored. If we continue like this, I don’t see things getting any better for us as a community. And instead of young men desiring a woman for intangible qualities like those of Michelle Obama, their desire will be A BIG BOOTY GIRL. Enough is enough!

Armani Valentino is a graduate of the University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff. He is also a national bestselling author of the book 99 Questions You Must Ask a Man Before Sleeping with Him & Definitely Before Having SEX and 7 other books, publisher, playwright, writer, director, & producer. For more information on Armani and his books you can visit

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22 WordPress comments on “All I Want Is a Big Booty Girl

  1. Niambi

    A child imitates what they see. A boy becomes a man or an adult boy based on what he learns from his father, uncles and other men and the adult boys he interacts with. Likewise women must also be an example for our daughters and those who are watching us. We as a community must step in and help the fatherless and those who don’t have proper guidance and are being raised in households where this generational curse continues and needs to be broken. I encourage men and women to not only raise your children well but to also mentor someone else who is fatherless or comes from a broken home. Your time, your positive influence, and your heart could help change the next generation.

  2. Robert

    It’s deeper than saying there isn’t a concerted effort from the Hip Hop community to do better. This is an industry in which the major record label/distributors encourage this kind of “tragic rap” by only promoting and putting money behind these types of songs at large. Because we place so much of our own morality in money, it tells these very talented rappers that this is the way to get paid.

    Every now and then a rapper with some real merit to his/her songs is able to “slip a good one through the cracks”…. But for the most part, this is a controlled and very directed campaign… it is designed to keep up stereotyped by others into thinking this is all we have to offer.

    I just recently had to shut my radio off after hearing Trey Songz newest song “I just came for the b-tch-s and the drinks”… Seriously? Because I love singing, I am a big fan of good singers and Trey Songz is really a good singer, but this is the crap that he’s putting out while we have guys like Robin Thicke & Eminem “outclassing” us in the very music we created.

    We have truly devolved.

    1. Jacqulyne

      I agree with Robert. This is a systematic assault on us a people. They are telling the world we are of no value and these Brothers are caught in the web of deception and how to master (dumb down) the Black mind, the minds of an entire generation of people.

  3. Robert

    And Armani, I will add this…. I don’t think enough of those Black women are making their voices heard. Because there are other Black women of reprobate minds who whole-heartedly support this kind of music. They’re the ones who rush to the dance floor when they hear the song “Beat the P—y Up”… I’m so disappointed in my Black people. A few years ago when the young ladies from Spelman college voiced their opposition to the Nelly’s video to the song “Tip Drill” was made known, so many of us were opposing young Black women who were offended by this by using the argument of freedom of expression. Just because you can cuss, smoke and drink doesn’t mean you should.

    By no means of the imagination am I saying that rated G rap should be the norm (though I have no problem with it)… My tastes in rap is composed of artists we haven’t had the pleasure of hearing from at a mass level to some of the few mainstream artists that actually aren’t afraid to rap about something real.

  4. DeAngela

    I post it on my Facebook page, I speak about it often. There is an entity behind rap music that is so sinister, without Christ and the discernment of the Holy Spirit, your gonna sleep on it. I read a report that there was a secret meeting, with indusyry heads and rap artist to use this genre of music to help the now privatized prison industry. The music now being played and promoted by such names as Kayne, Rick Ross, Drake, to name a few, promote anti-christ messages, sodomy, alcoholism, drug use, drug selling, rebellion against authority,etc…..We as adults need to protect the ear and eye gate of our children, we are held to accountability by God to do so. When a child knows a reggae song about drinking Grey Goose and Gin, as I witnessed at Universal Soul Circus, I know we as a society, as a people better wake up and stop thinking that it “JUST MUSIC, JUST ENTERTAINMENT”. Ephesian 6:12, lets us know, we wrestle not with flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

    1. stephanieb

      I totally agree DeAngela. People fail to realize that rap music, actually most secular music nowadays is completely demonic. Why do you think that most music on the airways nowadays is complete crap and is only about sex, drugs, violence, etc., because of the one who is controlling it. People better wake up and stop idolizing Jay-Z, Bey, and the rest of them because they could care less about you, they are only concerned about their pockets getting fatter and finding ANY WAY to promote themselves. Satan is busy trying to infiltrate the entertainment industry in every way possible, from the music, movies, tv, and he’s even getting to our children. I just read on another website that Mattel is now coming out with a drag queen Barbie. RIDICULOUS!!! And we wonder why our kids are so messed up!

  5. Christine

    I findy myself completely disheartened by the direction (and decline) that Hip Hop has taken. It has become more misogynistic. No wonder our culture (especially as it pertains to women) is filled with self hatred and degradation. We really need a reality check

  6. Letrell manchand

    Great point. Mute argument though. Didn’t our ancestors fight for this?? For us to be recognized?? Respected?? Seen as assets rather than damaged goods with no potential. You can not have it both ways. You gotta take your Gabrielle’s and your Nikki’s. Your Denzel’s and your Brian pumpers. This is the land yall fought so hard to accept us, now that we are totally caught up and brainwashed into the American mentality you wanna pull the consciousness card. I’m not saying you are wrong. I agree with most of the authors point. But it’s a double edge sword. But I mean progress is progress right?? At least we are not physically shackled anymore. Just mentally and fianancially. When those chains are removed then real progress can happen in music, politics, religions, etc..

  7. Bri(nice)

    I agree with the author to an extent. In my opinion it’s not about the music it’s about the mentality. Our young people as a whole are growing up in a world that’s focused on status and looks, I say looks because it’s not beauty. They are confusing beauty with (booty)…NOT…When I see a young girl blush & sing these lyrics and thinks that this is complimenting her & it’s make her feel good I’m appalled…but they are not totally to blame they have parents who encourage this behavior, by saying things like you should see my daughter, girl she has a big butt & all…wow what is that is that how we describe our children these dayz?…Their bodies are the main focus…they grow now-a-days wanting to be a pole dancer or a video girl because this is what is promoted all around them…on the tv’s, radio’s computer’s, etc…rather than to study & work hard to be successful…This way is the easy way as they all think….this is why so many (brothers) like Chad Johnson, has taken a fall due to the fact that they rather have the fake jewels wrapped on their arms instead of someone with substance, a partner in life….not just for show….this is where it leads & Kanye is on his way too with (big booty) KIM….smh watajoke, anyway these are the times they are living in & basically we (most of the african american race) is heading for self-destruction just like they designed it to be…we have fallen straight into the traps…we r our worst critics…but back to the subject the music is not to blame it’s starts in our homes….we have to stop laughing at all the booty dancing in the house….awwwh she so cute…NOT…u say it has to start somewhere, someone has to speak up well let it start with the people we call PARENTS…lets stop being their friends & playmates…we r PARENTS for a reason…to instruct…lead by example…lets stop the blame game…control has been lost in the homes!!!!

    1. Seleana

      It def starts in the home, you are correct. To my chagrin, I watched this 5 yr old girl show me a cheer she learned as a cheerleader. This baby was popping and shaking her behind so hard, it was insane. I asked her if her mom knew she danced like that, and she said yes. Later, her mom was encouraging her and another little girl to dance and the same moves came out. Her mom was giggling and saying, Get it girls. If at 5 she is dancing like a stripper, what will she do at 10?

    2. Deedee

      well said. Black women are actually promoting their daughters to see their self worth is in their a** and not whats in their brain. They actually think its cute to see a five yer old twerk it???? THAT is the consistent mentality of a slave. THe black community promotes this foolishness and then turns around and curse their behaviour when young black women’s biggest goal is to dance a pole. I think some of us like being slaves to that mess..and then the generation repeats the mess.
      We really are our worst enemy

  8. Cortez

    There is a simple solution. If we as a people would stand together and simply not buy this type of so called music, it would have a devastating effect. The only reason songs like this exists is because there is an audience who buys the music.

  9. Seleana

    This is so ridiculous. We not only have men making songs like this for another dollar, but you have young ladies out there who think that they have to be, look, and act like what these beastly songs say they should. We need to teach our kids about respect, first for themselves, then they will know how tomgive it to others. Kanye started out with positive songs but as the years have evolved, he has fallen into that mold that keeps positive black artists locked out of the system unless they are willing to change and ” do whatever will sell a record.” When Alicia Keyes first entered the scene, she was covered up and her songs were very genuine and uplifting. She even rocked cornrows. MAs time progressed, she started wearing straighter hair, dressing in scantilly clad clothes, and making songs about sleeping with men that belonged to other women all for the sake of sales. I am example of beauty and how a woman should act and dress for my girls. I am their role model and a position I take very seriously. What our young people and some parents need to realize is this: As long as you act and look like trash, this is how others will treat you. We have to be willing to be unpopular if it’s at the expense of our dignity and man/womanhood. True talent does not need to stoop to these levels and it’s unfortunate Kanye and other artists do not believe this is true.

  10. jchestang

    What has Hip-Hop done, overall? As men and boys, our image of women and young ladies, who God created, has been desecrated into lustful visions of soul-less creatures who exist only for our selfish pleasure. The term “b****” has become regular terminology for many young men, and unfortunately some young ladies as well. What you call a person denotes their value and meaning to you. So when you hear this term used, you know what a black male thinks of black females. What has influenced the black male to think this way, to the extent that it has permeated our black culture?

    Because of this “image” distortion, many of us have great difficulty holding a long-term, meaningful, relationship with a black woman or young lady, because we can’t respect them. In most cases, Hip-Hop sends the message that the black female is, for the most part, a body, that body exists only for the purpose of our pleasure, as men and boys. We can’t respect them, because we don’t even see them for who they are. If they are over us, we want to dominate, or knock them down, and if they are under us, we want to use and keep them down.

    What a waste of our black females.

    The responsibility lies, regardless of whoever or whatever, with the creators, performers, and producers of this poisonous type of Hip-Hop music.

  11. Deedee

    It does say alot about those black women who dance and laugh at such lyrics or for those who atually think fitting into the lyrics makes them special. This further validaes the notin that black women are only good for “effing and sucking” as a white patient was overheard saying at a hospital I used to work for. Women who say that they support the lyrics by the notion that its freedom of speech are equally ignorant. That is an abuse of that freeom and irresponsible. IT also validates the idea that black womena are brainless, faceless bodypart incapable of thinking and respectable accolades.
    It also says alot about a female whose self worth depends on how ample her bottom is….these days it aint that hard to have an ample bottom, but having an ample brain to go with it?
    We are quit used to being sexualized but within the black community we have taken it to an all time low. White men continue to reflect a level of respect for their precious white women while too many black men continue to perpetuate what the whole world at large continues to believe..that we are objects, property minimally valued. Black females who embrace this style of music promote it and continue the curse that, after all these years, we are still only viewed as slaves.
    BTW, African slavery continues throughout SOuth Africa and Arab Countries and they re especially interested in the use of girls and women as sex slaves. Rappers such as these help to perpetuate that we are good for nothing else and the world continues to believe it.

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  15. Elmil

    And then we have VH1…from Flava of love… down to BBW and Love amd Hip Hop…wup te doo..suedo rich b*****s in sumptuous arenas. Who scream and slash more than project hoes on Jerry Springer! What do they have to gripe about? Then theres Oxygen tv which hosts the fake hair, fake boobed liquor guzzling chain smokers who aspire to no value greater than dancing on the bar, g strings exsposed and smashing tha nearest homie! At least the excuse used to be ;: “yep I’m doing this to pay for college “. Black prez in the whitehouse..young. black women in the STREETS!

  16. Vanessa

    I LOVE hip hop! I was the biggest hip hop head in high school and college. I was also very blessed with great parents and a stable upbringing, where my ability to think critically and philosophically was continuously challenged. Unfortunately, too many adults and children are looking to hip hop and pop culture as a point of reference on how to live. We are so far from our spiritual foundation as a community. We are africans brought to a foreign land where the ways of the land are corrupt and seated in evil. We have adopted capitalism as our own and have become the worst consumers in this consumer society. It really sucks as a black woman right now. Our stock has fallen because of how our own men treat us. It has tainted the way the rest of the world views us, making us less desirable to men of other races for serious relationships even if we are open to dating outside of our race. And, the big booty phenomenon, I believe has made it difficult for real relationships to take place. So many men require only that, or reject a woman whos’ butt isn’t large enough. What a way to start a relationship!

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VIDEO: ‘Million Father March’ Asks Dads To Be More Involved

BY: - 21 Aug '12 | On the Web

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Eight years ago, 10 men from Chicago, IL began a movement known as the Million Father March. Black Star Project’s initiative began as a way to get fathers more involved in their child’s education, influence stronger family bonds and produce better students. Since its beginning in 2004, the project has spread to over 800 cities nationwide as well as a few overseas in Tamale, Ghana and London, England where fathers are asked to walk their child to school on the first day and commit to being actively involved throughout the school year. Although the initiative was created for Black men, men and women of all races are encouraged to participate.

One Jacksonville, Fl father David Hurst walked his son, Charlie, to school on his first day on August 20. Hurst says, “Any opportunity to be with him is good. Whether its the first day or the twentieth day.”

Studies from the National Fatherhood Initiative indicate that children whose fathers are involved in their social development and education have higher test scores, grade point averages and graduation rates from high school to name a few. Lower rates of arrest, violent behavior, drug and alcohol use have also been shown.

“The more involved you are the better I think it is,” says Hurst.

Find out more about the initiative on the Black Star Project’s website and see how you can set up a march in your community.

BMWK, why do you feel it’s important for parents to be a part of their child’s first day of school? What are some of your favorite experiences during your child’s first day?

About the author

Stacie Bailey wrote 160 articles on this blog.

Stacie Bailey is a graduate of Quinnipiac University with a master's degree in Interactive Communications. She has strong interests in youth, social media and an overall love for sharing knowledge and information.


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