What Sacrifices Are You Willing to Make for Your Children?

BY: - 16 Aug '12 | Parenting

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I spent this past weekend with my youngest daughter and her Girl Scout Troup on a camping trip. My previous experience with camping occurred nearly 25 years ago, and because I was a little more adventurous back then, I enjoyed myself. But now that I am fearful of almost every 4-legged creature there is, the idea of camping isn’t at all appealing. Everything about it, insects, sleeping arrangements, no real technology access, communal showers and darkness are all bummers to me.

This same camping trip was offered to us last year, as well. Although my daughter was anxious to attend, I had a scheduling conflict, and we were unable to join the troop. Seeing her disappointed broke my heart. As a result, I knew this year I would have to rearrange my schedule and put my selfish reasons aside for my little girl. Of course as a parent, I could have made the final decision that worked in my favor, (which I honestly considered) but that wouldn’t have been fair. I am sure other parents feel like me. My child’s happiness is more important than my minor inconveniences.

I sucked it up. I prepared myself and faced the bugs as well as nature. Even when my daughter and one of the other Girl Scouts wanted to sit in the extreme darkness to share stories, I stood there (scared we would all be eaten) holding the flashlight. When there was word of a meteor shower happening the last night we were there, I stood again in the dark and cold with her gazing at the stars. Although camping wasn’t something I really wanted to do, I couldn’t have been happier with my decision to go.  It was all worth it to witness the look of joy on her face, plus I actually had a really good time. I would go through that  same experience again and again, if it would generate the same reaction.

To me, mine was one of the smaller sacrifices we sometimes make as parents. There are other parents who’ve had to make extreme sacrifices for the sake of their children. I think of my own mom, who would go without just so we could have. Whether a parent is funding their child’s dreams or largely supporting them in another capacity, parents have to do what we have to do for our children. Our love for them knows no limits. The moment we bring a child into this world, it is no longer about us. Our primary goal becomes providing that child with everything needed to be happy, healthy and successful. The sooner a parent recognizes that truth the better job they will do overall.

BMWK, what sacrifices have you made for your children?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 630 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.


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4 WordPress comments on “What Sacrifices Are You Willing to Make for Your Children?

  1. Stephanie

    I really enjoyed reading this article. My son has dealt with some of the circumstances that our family has faced and we don’t have a lot of extra but what we lack in one area I try to make up for in another .
    He was recently invited to go to Europe the cost of the trip was over $4,000.
    Which I did not have and did not know where it was coming from but I told him if he wanted to go we would have to make lots of sacrifices . We prayed and asked for God’s will and the lord provided every step of the way . I remind him all of the te of the sacrifices that were made by family,friends and loved ones who helped to make this trip possible . I believe that he realizes that when people believe in you and what you are trying to do they will go above and beyond the call of regular duty for you . It is not only minor inconviences but major adjustment to your life to consider someone else happiness above yours. This is what parents do , it is not always buying children something but allowing them to see opportunities of unselfish acts on your part. Especially when they know that this is not your area of expertise ( camping , bugs, long away trips with out you) this is how we can show real sacrificial love to them . The same kind we would want others to show to us.

    1. Tiya

      Thank you Stephanie, I just love your comment. You’re right sacrificing comes along with this territory. Great story about your son and Europe. I hope he enjoyed himself.

  2. Erinn

    When my daughter was little, I could only afford a one bedroom apartment. I gave the bedroom to her, and I slept on a pull out sofa for 5 years. I now have my own spacious bedroom where we live, but she remembers those days, and brags about how she never knew we were “poor” and how amazing and fun her bedroom was. 🙂

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Please Tell Me that I am Not the Only Mom that Makes Mistakes!

BY: - 16 Aug '12 | Home

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School has already started here in Georgia! And I worked feverishly to ensure that we were prepared for the first day of school.

  • We purchased school supplies. ““ check
  • We bought a few new clothes to supplement the summer clothes they already have. — check
  • We went to back to school night and met the teachers. It is important that the teachers know you are involved and that they have your support and that you are an advocate for your children. ““ check
  • Signed up for the PTA and joined the Box Tops for Education Committee and the Environmental Education Committee. ““ check
  • I even took the kids to the container store for a little back to school session on getting organized. —check
  • We had a family meeting where we talked about our school and family goals for the year. The kids really surprised me by how well they were able to articulate their goals and how they were going to track their progress. —check

Sounds perfect, right? Well, keep reading.

The first day came, and the kids were so happy to be starting school and seeing their friends.

Insisted on wearing a dress on her fist day back. Good Choice!

She’s too cool to act excited…but I know she can’t wait to see her friends!

I put them on the bus and took my 4 year into the house because her preschool didn’t start for another 2 days. And, then I started my work.

By 10 am, I received a call from her preschool asking if she would be returning this school year. I said: “Of course, she will be there on Wednesday.” She said: “Mrs. Tyler, school started today.”

Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh….the mad rush was on to get her to school as soon a possible. I needed to take in a few more forms and proof of residence.. And oh, no..there was one more form that I needed to pick up from the doctor’s office that I had been meaning to pick up for days now.

So I raced around like a mad woman trying to pull it all together.

Whew, she is finally on her way to school. She is happy…and fly (that’s just her style.)

Fashionably late for the first day of school!

Please don’t ask me how I made that mistake. In the 19 years that I have been a parent, I have never missed the first day of school. But, there have been other things that I have mixed up and gotten wrong.

But hey, I can’t beat up on myself for not being perfect. And while I am desperately trying to get more organized, my ultimate goal is to be a mother that is present. Being present means that I am connecting with my kids both physically and emotionally. I am spending time with them each day and really listening to them as they speak to me. With my busy schedule, it takes work to make sure that I am present and not distracted by all of my responsibilities.

My goal is to be a loving, encouraging, and affectionate mother. Which means I send them to school each morning with a kiss. And, I remind them how much I love them and believe in them through words of encouragement and my actions.

Filled Hallmark Bug ‘Ems with treats to celebrate a successful week of school.

So with all of that going on, who has time to be perfect?

BMWK ““ Please tell me that I am not the only mother/parent that get’s it wrong sometimes? With school starting over the next couple of weeks, please share with us all that you are doing to get your kids prepared for school?

Each new day provides you with an opportunity to have special moments with your family.

Disclosure:     This post is part of a series that is sponsored by Hallmark and the  Life is a Special Occasion  campaign.     All opinions and editorial content expressed are my own.

About the author

Ronnie Tyler wrote 519 articles on this blog.

Ronnie Tyler is the co-creator of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com and co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing. The proud mom of 4 has been selected by Parenting Magazine as a Must-Read Mom and is one of Babble's Top 100 Mom Bloggers.


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