Do You Ever Have Days Where You’re Not Feeling Your Spouse?

BY: - 1 Oct '12 | Home

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Have you ever had one of those days where you  aren’t  feeling your spouse? If I can be completely honest for a second and share that both my husband and I have those days. I can almost immediately tell when my husband is not feeling me. There usually  aren’t  very many words said, but it’s quite clear that at certain times my quirky behavior, inquisitive nature and playfulness  aren’t  welcomed. So I acknowledge that what I need to do on those days is give him his space and go sit my behind down somewhere. Believe it or not it  doesn’t  bother me. Why should it? I also have those days. I feel irritable, annoyed and need alone time to get my mind right. Instead of nagging or nitpicking with my husband I ask for my time and I take it. If there were no space allowed just for me in my marriage, I would honestly lose my mind. Instead of hurting my spouse or being mean, I get quiet, reflect and am still.

Long ago, I accepted that every day in my marriage won’t be the same. My husband and I won’t always be lovey dovey or all over each other. With the daily stresses of our day jobs, my own business, our children, church and each other, it’s easy to see how one can become overwhelmed. One of the things that make our marriage work is our understanding of one another. I think after being married for 14 years and knowing each other for over 20 years we are comfortable and willing to accept the good days with the moody/crappy ones.

My husband can be confident in the fact that I am crazy in love with him. But I, just as most of you, will continue to have those days. Stress sometimes gets the better of us and we get overwhelmed by everything around us. As long as I don’t ever use those moments as an excuse to lash out, yell or hurt my husband, it’s normal. The best way to handle one of those days is by telling our spouse what we need and using that time as reflection and renewal. Remember it’s natural and it is just one of those days.

BMWK, how do you handle those stressful days in your marriage?


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  • Wendy M.

    So True, you definitely have to be able to tell your spouse what you need!

    • Tiya Cunningham-Sumter

      Absolutely, we have to be honest and ask for what we want

  • Sheree

    I needed this one. Thanks Tiya!

    • Tiya Cunningham-Sumter

      Sheree, you are welcome.

  • Cheri

    Thank you for these words. I get married in March and they were comforting.
    thanks for this website!

    • Tiya Cunningham-Sumter

      Thank you and congratulations. How exciting

  • Yolonda M.

    Although I am not married yet..I appreciate this prepares me for that special journey that is hopefully soon to come! This one is especially helpful because I don’t want to be the type of spouse that is “crappy” acting instead of expressing “I’m not feeling you today..I need my me time”!

    • Tiya Cunningham-Sumter

      Thanks for your comment. It is a reality. We all need our own space.

  • Rod

    This article is full of truth. My first wife didn’t understand this concept, and she is now an ex…twice over. My second wife of 12 years fully understands, and this along with other factors, is one of the tools we use to work through and work out problems as they arise.

  • Jaye

    Tiya, great article, it is a true reality, sometimes we do tend to be overwhelmed with the everyday stresses.

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