Do You Ever Have Days Where You’re Not Feeling Your Spouse?

BY: - 1 Oct '12 | Home

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Have you ever had one of those days where you  aren’t  feeling your spouse? If I can be completely honest for a second and share that both my husband and I have those days. I can almost immediately tell when my husband is not feeling me. There usually  aren’t  very many words said, but it’s quite clear that at certain times my quirky behavior, inquisitive nature and playfulness  aren’t  welcomed. So I acknowledge that what I need to do on those days is give him his space and go sit my behind down somewhere. Believe it or not it  doesn’t  bother me. Why should it? I also have those days. I feel irritable, annoyed and need alone time to get my mind right. Instead of nagging or nitpicking with my husband I ask for my time and I take it. If there were no space allowed just for me in my marriage, I would honestly lose my mind. Instead of hurting my spouse or being mean, I get quiet, reflect and am still.

Long ago, I accepted that every day in my marriage won’t be the same. My husband and I won’t always be lovey dovey or all over each other. With the daily stresses of our day jobs, my own business, our children, church and each other, it’s easy to see how one can become overwhelmed. One of the things that make our marriage work is our understanding of one another. I think after being married for 14 years and knowing each other for over 20 years we are comfortable and willing to accept the good days with the moody/crappy ones.

My husband can be confident in the fact that I am crazy in love with him. But I, just as most of you, will continue to have those days. Stress sometimes gets the better of us and we get overwhelmed by everything around us. As long as I don’t ever use those moments as an excuse to lash out, yell or hurt my husband, it’s normal. The best way to handle one of those days is by telling our spouse what we need and using that time as reflection and renewal. Remember it’s natural and it is just one of those days.

BMWK, how do you handle those stressful days in your marriage?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 572 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.

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13 WordPress comments on “Do You Ever Have Days Where You’re Not Feeling Your Spouse?

  1. Yolonda M.

    Although I am not married yet..I appreciate this column..it prepares me for that special journey that is hopefully soon to come! This one is especially helpful because I don’t want to be the type of spouse that is “crappy” acting instead of expressing “I’m not feeling you today..I need my me time”!

  2. Rod

    This article is full of truth. My first wife didn’t understand this concept, and she is now an ex…twice over. My second wife of 12 years fully understands, and this along with other factors, is one of the tools we use to work through and work out problems as they arise.

  3. Pingback: Always getting Better « Grown Up For Real!!!

  4. Pingback: Would You Want to Be Married to You; 6 Questions to Ask Yourself | Black and Married With Kids.com - A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

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Money Monday: How to Take Advantage of Comcast’s Dirt Cheap Broadband Offering?

BY: - 1 Oct '12 | Home

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Photo Credit: Asolario

My parents saved up for over a year in order to purchase a set of encyclopedias for my brother and me. These books were considered essential to our education.

Today, encyclopedias are ancient relics but the internet has replaced their importance in helping students succeed at school. Yet, in many low-income neighborhoods, few students have broadband access. Enter Internet Essentials, a program started in 2011 by Comcast to help bridge the digital divide.

Internet Essentials provides eligible low-income families with broadband access for only $9.95 per month. But while more than 2.3 million families are considered eligible, to date, only 100,000 have signed up.

To qualify a family must have at least one child who is eligible to receive free or reduced price school lunches under the National School Lunch Program (NSLP). As part of the program, Comcast also offers a voucher that allows families to purchase a low-cost computer for $149.99.

With such a good deal, why haven’t more low-income families taken advantage of it?

According to the Philadelphia Inquirer:

Comcast says it has found that the biggest barrier to Internet Essentials’ adoption is that many people in poor neighborhoods don’t understand the Internet.

“They think it may be used for Comcast or the government to spy on them,” said David Cohen, the program’s chief booster and an executive vice president at Comcast.

Other officials say many residents believe that the discounted service is a scam and don’t apply, or haven’t heard about it.

Comcast excuses as to why more families haven’t taken advantage of Internet Essentials sound dubious at best. Seriously Comcast? Poor neighborhoods don’t understand the internet?

To be sure, Comcast isn’t offering the program out of the kindness of their heart, especially considering their internet services generally start at $49 a month. Implementing the discount internet service was one of the conditions set forth by federal regulators before they allowed Comcast to acquire NBC in a deal valued at 13.75 billion.

Comcast may want to look at some more obvious barriers to the program. Internet Essentials is not available to anyone who has subscribed to Comcast internet service within the last 90 days.

A low-income family that’s been struggling to pay for expensive Comcast internet service would therefore not qualify. This has many experts suggesting that these families drop their Comcast service for 3 months in order to qualify for the much cheaper Internet Essentials service.

In addition, any family that has an overdue Comcast bill is ineligible. How many families do you know who don’t have late bills?

The company has vowed to step up efforts to increase participation in its low cost internet service. They’ve recently tapped Superbowl winning coach Tony Dungy to serve as national spokesperson for the program.

“We’re honored that Tony has agreed to be a national spokesman for Internet Essentials and we’re confident that his involvement will help us make even more progress to close the digital divide,” announced Comcast Executive Vice President David L. Cohen.

The company is also partnering with the US Department of Labor and school districts across the country to increase awareness of the program.

If you or someone you know qualifies for Comcast’s Internet Essentials, visit www.internetessentials.com for more information on how you can obtain broadband internet access on the cheap.

BWMK, do you think Comcast is right when it says the biggest barrier to people signing up for its low cost internet service is that many people in poor neighborhoods don’t understand the internet?

About the author

Alonzo Peters wrote 260 articles on this blog.

Alonzo Peters is founder of MochaMoney.com, a personal finance website dedicated to helping Black America achieve financial independence.

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