Must See TV! “Iyanla Fix My Life: My Cheating Husband!”

BY: - 12 Nov '12 | Infidelity

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There’s a lot of reality TV on the air these days. Only a few shows are truly geared toward helping us resolve issues and be better husbands, wives, children, friends and just be better people. One of the best programs currently tackling this issues is OWN’s “Iyanla Fix My Life.”

Last Saturday’s episode was entitled “My Cheating Husband!” This episode was so impactful and powerful that Oprah declared it the best one in the series so far. Oprah was right! This episode follows Pastor Dennis and his wife as she tries to cope with his serial infidelity. I love the way Iyanla digs deep and reveals the real reason behind his serial infidelity. She reveals to him that the sins against him as a child (which he never shared with anyone) caused him as an adult to cheat and literally destroy his wife. She also opens the door to why the First Lady accepts this behavior and stays. That revelation was mind blowing to me, unbelievable.

This episode is crucial to anyone in a relationship, a marriage, dealing with infidelity or anyone who wants to understand how infidelity destroys your partner/spouse. I say this episode is crucial because a lot of people who cheat do not understand how it truly affects the person who they cheated on. Iyanla breaks it down plain and simple”...A true “˜a ha’ moment. The other impactful realization is how infidelity shapes the children involved.

See Iyanla at work in this clip from the show”...

This series “Iyanla Fix My Life” is a must watch series for everyone who is in a relationship wants to be in a relationship or simply wants to be a better person. The show airs every Saturday at 10pm on OWN. Check with your service provider for channel information.

For more episode information please visit

“Stay in peace not in pieces.” — Iyanla Vanzant

More from the episode:

Exclusive: Iyanla’s Definition of a Healthy Marriage

Exclusive: Why Pastor Dennis May Lose It All

Iyanla Vanzant Defines Spiritual Abuse

Iyanla Helps a Family Break the Cycle of Abuse

Pastor’s Wife Divorce Her Cheating Husband?

About the author

Kirstin Fuller wrote 285 articles on this blog.

Kirstin N. Fuller aka The Travelin Diva is a DC based travel journalist bringing fellow travelers the best deals on family vacations, couples retreats, spa getaways, the best travel gadgets and more in BMWK's exclusive Travel Tuesday & Weekend Travel Guide columns. Check out her new travel blog daily for more deals & destinations


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18 WordPress comments on “Must See TV! “Iyanla Fix My Life: My Cheating Husband!”

  1. The Travelin Diva (Kirstin)

    This was a very good episode. I learned a lot just from watching their struggle. I pray for his healing and that he gets better before going into another relationship/marriage.

  2. Lis

    Good for her. I commend her for staying and giving it all she had, for as long as should could. However, I commend her for leaving, as well. No one should sit around letting someone degrade and diminish them constantly. (Though in this case I understand she wanted to honor her vows.) The pastor obviously has issues that need to be resolved. He has taken a step thus far; now, he needs to take the ultimate step, which is going to God, confessing everything, and letting Him heal him from the inside out. Abuse is a tragic thing, this is why it must be worked through before getting involved with others. Anyway, I wish the best for them both.

    Good job, Ms. Iyanla. 🙂
    And, thanks to the author for posting, because I didn’t get to catch it Sat.

    1. The Travelin Diva (Kirstin)

      Thanks Lis! I thought it was too important of a show not to write something. You are right, he needs to heal inside and out… It was mind blowing to me that it was 20 women, that crushed me for her. I just wanted to hug her and let her know that that’s not love… I am glad that Iyanla helped her and let her know that if she wanted to leave that was okay too. –Kirstin Fuller (post author)

      1. SDL

        Kirstin you are so right. When Iyanla had her to read out the definition of abuse, I think that’s when she started to get clarity about the role she played in this relationship. It hurts our pride and it’s embarrassing to admit that we’ve been a victim, especially when it’s at the hands of somebody you love.

  3. SH

    One word – AWESOME! I pray for continued revelation and healing for this couple and their children. God is able and willing!! All we have to do is ask and believe that we will receive in the name of Jesus! Thank you for posting this episode!!

  4. Janelle

    Thanks for posting this. We had to lower our cable package to balance our budget. I really wish Oprah could somehow get her channel to be a part of basic packages.

  5. natasha cherismay-thenor

    I applaud the pastor for admitting that he have a problem, didn’t hold her from moving forward. Let keep him in our prayers, Our God’s a God of forgiveness and compassion.Healing for the wife the children and the pastor and the 20 others. Stay bless all

  6. SDL

    Thank you Kirstin for sharing. I appreciate that the comments I’ve read have been gentle and kind considering the sensitivity of the topic. I watched this episode on Saturday (1st & 2nd time it was on that night). It broke my heart. I felt the same pain each time I listened to the couple tell their story. I am never a fan of divorce and I believe that marriage is taken too lightly, especially in the church. In this case, I was absolutely speechless. I have heard of several couples in churches dealing with infidelity, but I’ve never spoken with them personally to hear their story. Iyanla Vansant brought it up close and personal for all of the viewers to not only see and hear, but empathize with this couple. I understand why the wife made her decision. When the pastor said, ”I have dismantled my family with my own hands” and began to weep, I lost it. My heart goes out to this couple and their children – including the child conceived with one of his mistresses. Lord God Almighty have mercy and let Your Grace Abound.

  7. Tarah

    I was so mad on the wife’s behalf. I couldn’t even really feel compassion for him when he cried. He humiliated and allowed other to disrespect the woman he pledged to love and protect. I’m sure the majority of the congregation knew of his numerous infidelities with parishioners. He completely lost his moral authority to lead.
    I hope they both get some counseling so they will be able to have new relationships – baggage free.

  8. Wambuig

    Thanks for sharing… I am ticked off about two things here. A.) Women in the congregation who cheat with the pastor! I don’t get it! The reason this really ticks me off is because this seems to be an ongoing issue in other churches I may be preaching to the choir here but women are we that desperate that we are willing to cheat with the pastor!
    B.) The fact that the board members allowed the pastor to keep he’s job! I was reading this on a different blog where someone argued that it’s not for us to judge but God, that we are all fighting or trying to overcome some sin or other… Well true as that may be I strongly feel that the pastor ought to have stepped down from the pulpit. How is he going to minister or council he’s congregation while he’s got so much going on?
    Overall great show and glad that this is brought to us so that we can candidly have discussions about especially the evil going on in the church which for the most part no one is willing to talk about.

    1. PurpleBlk

      I felt like that the whole time he was saying that he wanted to hold on to her, it wasn’t because he loved her, it was because he was afraid of the image. Iyanla was right. He had a death in him and that death made him act the way he did and later killed a part of his wife.
      There is no reason to be mad at him, though. If he can’t love her, he can’t love her. She is not here to change him, and she doesn’t have to be accept it. I’m glad she decided to leave.
      The lesson I also learned from this episode, as a wife-to-be, is to never let someone (especially my husband-to-be) kill a part of me. It is not as easy as it sounds. It involves daily LOOKING at yourself in the mirror (as the pastor’s wife did) and questioning who you are, what you’re giving up, and what you need to do to be in peace and not in pieces. It involves questioning his actions and not just accepting any kind of behavior. Some things are just not okay, and I need to remember that at all costs (even if it means losing that hat and parking space).
      I was truly blessed by this episode and the previous comments.

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  10. Plentiful

    Wambuig I agree with u 100% across the board. Look what his spirit was drawing to the church nothing but whores. All he needed was opportunity and a woman who was down. He manipulated those woman using God and those woman violated there first lady. Where was the respect. This proves that the so called godly men are no different from the men in the world. I’m not judging but it is what it is down right dirty with a olive in a glass. I get sick and tired of babying mature Christian. He blankly defiled his God and first lady with no remorse. Of course the church is going to accept it cause they probably think God will change everything. He did change and revealed that devil that was speaking in God name. Many false prophets will speak in my name but don’t go there cause it is not of me.

    1. Ursala

      I agree100% with you. One reason women stay in these abusive relationship because theyare manipulated in their mind by fear and guilt. Sometimes by the church. They have to stay because its their duty to make things right. This angers me also because myself and many women I know experienced kind of manipulation in the church by the pastor. The church is full of women who think the pastor is God. Not knowing they have equal acess to Christ as the pastors. They have authority to reject anything co ming from a pastor that does not line up with the word of God.

      The church formerly attended kept women in bondage. Womem were being abused by their husbands were constantly told by the black male pastor that it was their fault their husbands were not saved. They were not praying enough fasting enough and was not paying their tithes. The pastor never held men accountable for nothing. IT WAS ALWAYS the womens fault. Even stated that women who are abuses do not have the holy spirit. Told one women that she was not having enough sex with her husband that is why he molested his daughter. WOMEN come in and leave feeling worse. One women husband was beating her broke her arm and shot at her with a gun. Pastor blamed her? She left him and the church. The man was embraced and another women was having an affair with him as soon as she left. That church was so crazy and dysfuntional. My family left and have never looked back. I thank god everyday we left. Sick and what is so sadthe women in the church are always so quick to welcome the man and ostracize the woman. Because women can act so desperate believing its gods will for this person to be their mate or just a bunch of phonies that want to shout and dance every sunday and live any kind of way monday through saturday as long as the pastor don’t know. Black folks need to stop making these pastors their gods and start loving and obeying the true and living savior, Jesus CHRIST.

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