25 Ways to Tell Your Husband, “I Love You!”

BY: - 13 Dec '12 | Marriage

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I’m always researching ways to enhance and enjoy my marriage. To some, this may not be a big deal.  But for busy moms like myself, there are times that we barely have enough time for ourselves, let alone a moment or two to be a fulfilling and intentional wife. Disclaimer: I make no claims to be a relationship expert. This is a list that was created to inspire you, not cause guilt, or by any means be overwhelming.

Have fun with it and to be good at these, repeat them often and smile!

1. Cuddle. This could be a mini-spooning session before you drift off to sleep at night or just an “on the couch” moment after you’ve put the kids to bed.
2. Give him eye contact. Don’t they say the view to a person’s soul is through their eyes?  Well look at your husband, not in his general direction, when he’s talking to you. It makes him feel that he has 100% of your attention.
3. Keep yourself up. No excuses for being frumpy! I know its hard to even shower some days, but at least try to throw on some makeup and get your hair done. Feeling good about yourself will make you a better wife!
4. Flip the switch to off! So often, we unintentionally speak to our husbands in a tone that is meant for our children. Please remember to get it together and check your tone before you speak to your husband.
5. Tell him! Simply, tell your husband that you love him in the most sincere and kind way you possibly can.
6. Love yourself. I’m a firm believer that a Happy Wife = Happy Home. Love yourself first so that you have the freedom to love your husband. If we have too much baggage and insecurities, how can we love our husbands?
7. Do what makes him happy. If he has a favorite meal, cook it. If he has a favorite dress he likes you to wear, wear it. Ask him or refresh your memory about what puts a smile on his face.
8. Pillow fight! If you’ve never tried this, then please do! It releases endorphins (the natural chemical that makes us happy) into our bodies. You’ll be laughing and breathing so hard, you won’t have a chance to take life so seriously.
9. Give him his space. If your husband is like mine, he enjoys his man-cave. At times, stop the kids from disturbing him and allow him to dwell in this sanctuary to just “be”. At times, be a sweetie and take him a meal or two and his favorite cold beverage.
10. Pray together at night. Quite honestly, this is a hard one for us, because my hubby keeps late hours working and I’m in “La La Land” when he’s turning in for the night. If it’s an easy one for you to do, then do it. Speak the coverage of Jesus over the head of your household.
11. Don’t nag! OK, since when does this one come easy? If you can ask nicely and remind him with kindness that’s a start, but try not to overwhelm with/about any one subject.
12. Be aware of his exits and entrances to your home. Never let him leave without a proper goodbye hug or a kiss. And certainly greet him after a long day’s work with the same and a smile. (Also see #3 for good measure)
13. Say good things about him. Isn’t it nice to overhear people saying good things about you? Let him hear you saying kind words about him to his family, your kids or your family and friends.
14. Be the fire starter. Every now and then, THEY would like to be pursued, enticed, seduced and feel WANTED.
15. Compliment him. If you like the way he just got his hair cut, please tell him. If he smells good, tell him. You get the picture.
13. Smack him on the butt! If this isn’t the norm for you, I’m sure this will cause a stir, a laugh, a conversation or something. Just call it a “love tap”.
14. Buy him a little something, just because. It doesn’t have to break the bank. Any surprise gift would be appreciated. No ulterior motives allowed, like a snow blower or tools. 🙂
15. Give a massage. Enough said.
16. Slip him a little note inside his briefcase or lunch bag. Just say, “I’m thinking of you right now…” or “Can’t wait til you get home.” or more serious, “Thanks for being a good provider. Enjoy your day at work.”
17. Say yes to “Guys night out”! Just like you enjoy time with your girls, let him go out with guys. He needs the break, especially if it’s with other husbands.
18. Be subtly and blatantly submissive. Ask him for his advice and follow it through. Next time there’s a decision to be made. Tell him you wanted to “run it past him” first.
19. Smile, flirt and show a little leg. Enough said.
20. Write a “foggy mirror” message. When he’s in the shower in the morning, write him a love message on the mirror, so he’ll see it when he steps out. Isn’t that a nice way to start the day?
21. Nurse him. Don’t wait until he’s sick to look out for his health. When he does get sick, make sure you attend to his needs.
22. Kiss him. Not just little smooch – a long, passionate kiss should say, “I love you” and if you want it to say, “I want you.”
23. Start a ritual or a tradition together.
24. Be kind and show love to his mother. If your mother-in-law is no longer with you, then do this for the special elder in his life.
25. Keep your commitment and your vows. It takes a lot to fan the flames after the newlywed/honeymoon phase has been long gone. Your husband will see and appreciate your efforts and hard work that it takes to be a fulfilling, loving, beautiful and intentional wife and mother!

 BMWK – that was a great list.  Please share with us additional ways that we can show/tell our husbands that we love them.

About the author

Sheree Adams wrote 117 articles on this blog.

Sheree is a wife and WAHM of three who passionately blogs about marriage, family, health tips and more as Smart & Sassy Mom. Sheree is committed to helping blended families and keeping marriages strong, healthy, fun and SPICY!


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18 WordPress comments on “25 Ways to Tell Your Husband, “I Love You!”

  1. Mrs.Belgrave

    I absolutely love this list. There are some things on the list like compliment him and pray together at night that I already do, but I can also see MANY areas of improvement that I am going to implement ASAP. Thanks for writing this great article!

  2. Lucy Pannell

    This is great…however women are not usually the sex that has a problem showing or expressing love. Where is the list that tells HIM 20 ways to tell his wife that he loves her? IJS…

  3. Blessing Ndubuisi Uket

    Beautiful write up,i pray that God Almight will give me the strength to do all what you said so that i can have a happy home and have my husband all by myself. Thanks alots.

  4. Pingback: Do You Kiss in Front of Your Kids? | Black and Married With Kids.com - A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

  5. Pingback: 7 Ways to Flirt With Your Husband | Black and Married With Kids.com - A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

  6. Ebony Queen

    It’s a comprehensive list and a great reference. Additionally , it’s almost natural and instinctive for a real woman, who understands her worth and has Godly character to do most, if not all of these things. However, it becomes more realistic, if a husband first shows his wife love, real unconditional love, then it’s easier to follow through on these ideas. Many times wives are expected to be the spouse to keep the fire burning in a marriage, but if a real man takes up his real responsibility of being a Godly husband, then good stuff happens. Just saying!

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Talk To Me…..It’s a Heart Thing

BY: - 13 Dec '12 | Home

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Photo Credit: Greencolander

by Kim Moore

If you ask most husbands and wives what is the number one challenge they face in marriage you will often hear “communication.” It makes sense too. However I offer a different mind about this. Communication is simply the exchange of thoughts and ideas between one or more people.

Communication problems can be quantified into a set of skills, which we all can learn and develop. But, this is not so easily done when the problem is the heart. No set of skills will change the nature of a self-protective and self-serving heart. It seems easier to say we have communication problems than to say we have a heart problem.

Getting beyond the need for communication, I have discovered that what husbands and wives really want at the end of the day is to connect! Certainly, communication has its part to play in two people being able to connect, but communication is not the goal – connection is the goal. Husbands and wives desire to connect deeply, intimately and honestly with one another. Our fear of abandonment and rejection keep many of us in survival mode, especially in the relationships that matter most.

While communication skills enable us to better convey our thoughts, cares and concerns, they cannot displace fear. The antidote for fear is love (I John 4:18). Fear prevents even the best of us from speaking up, being quiet and otherwise engaging one another honestly. Poor communication skills simply aggravate the problem. Imagine the experience we would have if fear of abandonment, rejection, being misunderstood, or being exploited did not figure prominently in our interactions.

Fear teaches us to lie, cheat and manipulate others for our own benefit and survival. Love, on the other hand, encourages and inspires us to tell the truth, give rather than take, and honors the free will of others at the expense of ourselves. This kind of love cannot be manufactured, simulated or acquired through purchase. It is free and must be received before it can be offered as a gift to another (I john 4:19). What if husbands and wives learned how to receive love from God first? (Romans 5:5) What if through this love God exchanged our fear of rejection with unqualified acceptance (Ephesians 1:5 and 6). And what if the hearts of husbands and wives truly discovered that God would not ever abandon them? (Hebrews 13:5) Still, even better, what if either husband or wife received and began participating with these biblical truths? Jesus taught us that while it does take two, it was He working together with His Father through which we were reconciled and restored to God (Romans 5:8).

I imagine a day when husbands and wives will receive God’s love abundantly. This love will drive out fear and unhealthy dependencies upon each other. Each will choose to love the other as a sovereign act of their will. And they can because the love of God abides in them. I imagine such husbands and wives to be emotionally available, sexually desirable and deeply connected and committed to one another. In this climate few words are needed. Oh yeah, about those communication skills we are developing—they are icing on the cake!

BMWK – letting go of fear and embracing God’s love will allow husbands and wives to connect in ways that they never thought were possible.

Kim Moore believes every woman (young and old) deserves to know and be confident in the reality that she is loved.  You can reach Kim via her website, Kim Moore and Friends

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BMWK Staff wrote 1259 articles on this blog.

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