8 Things I Will Not Be Bringing Into the New Year

BY: - 2 Jan '13 | inspiration

Share this article!

Clock_New Year

As we raise our glasses to celebrate the ending of 2012 and the beginning of 2013 we must focus on the great things that the year will bring. 2012 reminded me of just how precious life is. Because of that, I made the decision that I will no longer take any of my relationships for granted. From my relationship with my parents to the ones with my children, husband and friends, I plan to take better care of each one of them. In order to do that, there are certain things, ideas, and bad habits that cannot trail me into 2013. I have to learn from the mistakes of 2012.

Here’s what I will not bring into 2013:

Lack of faith. 2013 will be my year to totally and completely trust God. I plan on using my gifts and talents, and stepping out on faith, especially when I am afraid. I have been holding back far too long.

Drama. I have never been one who brings a lot of drama, but I will be even more determined than ever to keep the drama down to a minimum. No fussing, bickering or pettiness in this New Year.

Failure to pray together. This is where I struggled the most in 2012. My husband and I did not take advantage of the opportunities to pray together. I pray daily on my own, but in 2013 praying with my husband and family will definitely be a major priority.

Neglect. If I plan to treat each of my relationships better, I have to practice making sure my family and friends know they are a priority in my life. I will maintain frequent contact and not neglect those I say I love.

Distractions. Laziness and procrastination have no place in my 2013. I will do whatever is necessary to avoid allowing these distractions to block my success.

Lack of focus. In 2013 I will prioritize my goals and keep my eyes on the prize.

Confusion. My husband always encourages me and our daughters to be clear. Clear in how we communicate, clear on what we ask for and our understanding of what we’re being told. I will eliminate confusion in all aspects of my life and practice clarity.

Negative thinking. I think I can, I think I can. Actually I know I can! No more negative thinking in 2013. I will focus on the positive and live by my favorite scripture “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13.

I am looking forward to leaving 2012 behind and all the joy 2013 will bring. I am ridding my life of the old habits of 2012. I am completely clear on what I will NOT be bringing into the New Year!

BMWK, what will you leave behind in 2012?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 635 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.


like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!


Facebook Wordpress

4 WordPress comments on “8 Things I Will Not Be Bringing Into the New Year

Leave a Reply

All Articles Delivered To Your Inbox Daily! Sign up below!

Be Happy and Loving….on Purpose!

BY: - 4 Jan '13 | inspiration

Share this article!


by Keisha D. Hines,

As a child,  I always knew I’d graduate from college, get married and have a child. But most importantly, I KNEW I’d be happy. I wanted to be happy and so I was. I was able to discern between feigned happiness and real happiness. I witnessed couples at church holding hands and smiling, but not saying a word to each other in more private settings. Mothers, professing to love motherhood, would light up when making statements like “…if I didn’t have kids I’d…” Fathers, watching television for hours, would ignore a crying child or a playful toddler wanting attention. Adults would constantly complain about their careers or lack thereof.

I’d see these things and wonder why adults weren’t happy with their lives. By no means am I being insensitive to life’s hardships or bad days -I’ve definitely experienced plenty- but I am challenging our thought process. I have resolved that unhappiness is a learned character trait; happiness is available to us, if we really want it.

Watching Disney movies and listening to old school R&B love songs caused me to buy into the notion of love, happiness, and bliss. I loved the thought of love: being loved, being in love, loving life, and teaching others to love. In the African-American community, we teach our children to be loving, forgiving, and to dream big but as our children grow we rob them of these teachings by emulating a different lifestyle. We exhibit a lifestyle that is full of grudges, violence, messy gossip, and hateful hearts towards anyone who mistreats us knowingly or by mistake. As children enter their teenage years and early adulthood, parents often wonder what happened to their little angels.

Newsflash: they watched you live a different life than what you taught them.

Our media also plays a huge role in our views and thoughts about love and life as well. Our music and movies often glorify divorce, violence, revenge, unhealthy lifestyles, and spiritual emptiness. What are we feeding ourselves? Is life really drama-filled or are we perpetuating what we see? Again, I’m not professing perfection rather raising consciousness.

So the question remains: is happiness a learned way of life?

I believe that it is. My mother taught me to enjoy life and love hard.  But more importantly, she exemplified it by living a life of service and forgiveness. That’s what separated me from my peers; I learned how to love and be happy. Also, I wanted to be happy and so I was. Happiness wasn’t always a laugh, smile, or nice gesture but a still calmness and a genuine appreciation for life and people despite hardships. As stated above, I was (and still am) happy on purpose.

“A person will be just about as happy as they make up in their minds to be.”  -Abraham Lincoln

BMWK:  Do you think that happiness is a learned way of life?  How do you remain happy despite the trials and tribulations that come your way?

Keisha Hines is a Christian counselor, wife, and new mother who is passionate about healthy relationships. Keisha specializes in family advocacy and conflict management. Connect with her on Twitter: @HinesKeisha. 

About the author

BMWK Staff wrote 1259 articles on this blog.

Content and articles from the staff and guest contributors of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com


like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!


Facebook Wordpress