Interesting quote huh? That’s exactly what I thought as I overheard a man make this comment recently. As I waited in line to purchase lunch, I stood behind this person and listened to the conversation he and the restaurant owner shared as he placed his order. The owner initiated the dialogue and asked the man if he was married, to which he firmly replied, “Naw not me! Marriage is like a funeral to me” and their talk ended as they both shared a hearty laugh. Of course I wanted to jump right in and ask for clarification, but I thought better and kept my mouth shut.
However, I did think to myself how strong those words were. “Like a funeral, wow”. Do some people really view marriage this way? I wonder what this particular individual assumes actually transpires during a marriage. Unfortunately he isn’t the only one with this point of view. What do they believe happens once a person gets married; loss of freedom, more responsibility, dissolution of self?
I am sure the negative statements certain married folks make about their relationships are not helping. In fact, they appear to be doing a real number on some single individuals. They are believing the hype; that healthy unions don’t occur and happiness and marriage can’t coexist.
It’s true marriage isn’t for everyone. But for the people who are purposely avoiding it because of what they heard or what they think will be lost, I feel sorry for those individuals. Especially if they have a partner in their life who is worth marrying.
Even before I was married, I knew that I wanted to be a wife. I realize that may be a truer statement for more women than men. But I knew I wanted to build my life with someone and not be a life long dater or girlfriend with no real sense of commitment or family.
Just hearing that statement above struck a cord with me because I found my marriage to be the exact opposite. I haven’t loss any freedoms. Yes, I have a partner now that I share my whereabouts with but that has not stopped the actual whereabouts. I didn’t need freedom to be with other people because my marriage keeps me satisfied. In regards to the responsibility that comes along with any committed relationship, it is simply part of being an adult; which I wholeheartedly welcome. And losing my self was a non-factor to me in my marriage. In marriage I have been the most free to be who I really am. I don’t have to be pretend or be fake in order to impress my spouse. He is accepting and loving of me. And just knowing that I have someone who truly has my back and supports me no matter what is priceless.
I just hope those who compare marriage to a funeral get the opportunity to experience the real joy that can come from building a healthy life with someone. Marriage can truly be a great beginning and a new life with the person we love.
BMWK — What are your thoughts on the quote above?
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