The Blood, Sweat, and Tears in Marriage Are What Make It Work

BY: - 24 Jan '13 | Marriage

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Photo Credit: Roger Kirby

Blood, sweat, and tears in marriage? You better believe it! Marriage is the most wonderful thing in the world, but don’t get it twisted. There will be bloodshed, you will get sweaty, and both the wife and husband will get all teary eyed. If that seems harsh, don’t worry, that is what makes marriage work.

I am almost willing to say if you have not bled, sweated, or cried then your marriage may not be the best it could possibly be. While we try our best to avoid them all, they are coming, but so are the greatest days of your marriage.

Sacrifice (Blood)

Before you go there, do not worry, nobody is getting cut! Bleeding in your marriage is about sacrifice. The union of two people from two different households, with two different upbringings means sacrifice is a must. One definition of sacrifice is “the offering up of something precious for a cause or a reason.

Your marriage is bigger than you, so sometimes you have to “take one for the team.” Until this happens in marriage, needs will go unmet. A marriage with unmet needs is one that may not last. But a marriage where sacrifice is how you roll, will be filled with two selfless individuals meeting needs and growing together.

Work (Sweat)

Did the word “hot” come to mind when you read that sub-heading? Well, it is the first thing that came to my mind. I pictured me running, working out, or just being outside on a hot humid day. Most of us have heard that great marriages take work. Sometimes you have to get down, dirty, and sweaty.

Marriage can act like a physical trainer. You will be pushed to points no human being has ever pushed you to. You will do things you never thought you could do. When you do, you will sweat, sometimes you will sweat profusely! Those of you who workout know when you reach that point you can expect great results. There is no playing cool in marriage, go ahead and put in work.

Release (Tears)

Tears in our bodies serve multiple purposes. The type of tears we are most familiar with are emotional tears.  Those tears come when we’ve experienced some emotional high or low. But think about how you feel before those tears come compared to after they are released. It feels good after.

Sometimes you just need a good cry. The tears in your marriage allow you to not hold on to things. It may hurt, but you are not intended to hold onto it. Let those tears flow, and release the emotion that triggered them. This frees you up, allows you to think clearer, and allows you to move to a place of healing in your marriage.

The Couple That Bleeds, Sweats, and Cries Together…Stays Together

This is not a one-way thing. Both spouses need to sacrifice, work, and release in marriage.  Until both spouses experience the three, you may not understand how they make marriage work. When you do experience them, you’ll know and not be as concerned when it happens again.

BMWK — Have you experienced blood, sweat, and tears in marriage? Please share how you handled it, and the result in the comment section below.

About the author

Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. wrote 62 articles on this blog.

Jackie is an author, blogger, and speaker who helps men better love their wives and lead their families. He is the creator of The 7 Rings of Marriage™. You can receive his latest BMWK posts in your inbox, plus his latest marriage and parenting posts from around the web by subscribing to his weekly newsletter!


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How to Have Strong Marriage When You Didn’t See One Growing Up

BY: - 24 Jan '13 | Marriage

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I’ve been married for over four years. In that time we’ve had our ups and downs (mostly ups), and we are learning what it truly means to stand by someone’s side through it all. When we said “I do” we took it very seriously, and we have every intention of making this thing work.

But, what happens when things get rough? How do we manage the “downs” when neither of us witnessed a strong, long-lasting marriage growing up?  My husband’s father passed away when he was just seven.  My father, although alive during my entire childhood, was not an active part of my life at all. All things considered, both of our mothers did a phenomenal job raising us. We now see that raising kids with a spouse is no easy feat. I can barely wrap my brain around how our mothers did it all without the added, constant support of a life partner. To put it mildly, they were amazing.

Yet, we know that how we interact with others, in large part, is a result of what we saw growing up. Did we see our parents love each other? Did we watch them disagree respectfully and peacefully? Did we see, firsthand, what makes a marriage strong?

How do we both figure out how to make this marriage thing work when the entire experience is very new for us? How do we figure out how to strengthen our union when it’s not something we saw firsthand during our childhood? We certainly saw, and received, plenty of love. But, we didn’t see how two people successfully manage the complexities of a marriage.

These tips reflect a few things we’ve learned along the way, and have served our marriage well. I hope they can help you make the most out of yours whether you witnessed a great marriage during your childhood or not.

Don’t Seek Marital Advice From Unmarried Friends

This is absolutely not an attack on single friends.  I still turn to my single friends for advice about almost every area of my life.  However, we do not turn to them for marital advice.  For that, we call our married friends.  It just makes sense to seek advice from people who can relate to your experience because they’ve been there.

Tell Yourselves That Divorce Is Not An Option

If it’s an option there is a much stronger chance that you will both consider it when things get rough (and I mean really rough).  Just take it off of the table as an option.  Unless you are in a situation where a form of abuse is involved, getting a divorce should not be the answer to a rough patch.

Remember Why You Got Married

Getting married is a major decision that I’m sure wasn’t made lightly.  Think about why you got married and remind yourself of it daily.  Is your mate loyal?  Do they believe in you when you don’t even believe in yourself?  Are they an amazing parent?  Focus on why you decided to say those vows in the first place.

Nourish Your Friendship

There is surely something to be said for marrying your best friend.  Laugh together, bounce ideas off of each other, share dreams, create goals – do all of the things that will make your friendship stronger and more meaningful.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Trying to have a successful marriage is difficult to achieve if you think every battle is worth fighting.  Learn to laugh at yourselves, and choose your battles carefully.  Some things just aren’t worth it. Save your energy for the things that are.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but even the very best things in life come with challenges.  Meet those challenges head on and give your marriage a fighting chance, even if you have to learn how to do it one step at a time.


BMWK family — What did you learn about marriage during your childhood?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 496 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at To work with her, visit her at Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.


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