What is Your Definition of Marriage?

BY: - 29 Jan '13 | Marriage

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Everyone has their own idea of what a marriage is. Some think about marriage as a partnership with their significant other, others feel marriage is the beginning of a fairytale, and others believe marriage to be an obligation; something everyone must do. The dictionary defines marriage as the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.

Marriage is more than a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. It is uniting two lives into one household. Marriage is learning about the other person’s habits, good and bad, and learning how to deal with them.  There will be arguments because two different personalities are striving to cohabitate peacefully. Sometimes, leaving the top off of the toothpaste will drive a person crazy, while organizing the canned goods alphabetically will make the other pull their hair out. It will not always be easy, but compromise must happen.  If one decides to leave the marriage, there are legal procedures that are necessary in order to dissolve it. It takes more time to get a divorce than to get married.

Marriage is work. Some days it will feel like a stressful job without any benefits and there are no vacations away from it.  Time, patience, and a great sense of humor are necessary ingredients to make a marriage work. If both spouses become lazy in the marriage, it can open the door to extramarital affairs and ultimately lead to divorce. Marriage requires both spouses to be attentive to each other, respect each other, and love each other.

On the other hand, marriage is not a continuous romance novel. The relationship may have started with a damsel rescued by a prince, however; after the wedding, the prince may become a toad and the damsel may turn into a shrew. Every day will not be a great day in the marriage, and there will be days when one or both spouses will wish for singlehood.  Marriage is not a way to make a bad relationship better.  If the relationship is unstable, marriage is not the next step to take; the bad qualities in the relationship will only be magnified. Instead, end the relationship or get counseling.  Marriage is not for the selfish. If both are unwilling to sacrifice and compromise, the marriage will not last. If one or both spouses only have their own interests in mind, the marriage will be inundated with conflict. Sometimes, the husband or the wife may have to apologize first in order to restore peace after an argument.

Marriage is not an old fashioned idea. People feel marriage is antiquated and unnecessary and believe living together without the legal commitment is easier and more desirable. But trust me, there is a blessing in being married. Marriage should be entered into with respect for the union and handled with care. I think marriage is a partnership of love and trust overseen by God.

BMWK — What is your definition of marriage?

About the author

Latoya Irving wrote 99 articles on this blog.

Latoya Irving is a former Air Force brat who loves writing about relationships, and family. She believes God should be the center of both. She is married with two kids and currently live in Texas.


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8 WordPress comments on “What is Your Definition of Marriage?

  1. Pingback: What is Your Definition of Marriage? | Black and Married With Kids … | Love Advice

  2. johanna stokes

    Marriage is a covenant with God the creator of marriage . Its when two people join together as one committing to a vow which joins man and women into one holy body. Its a unique body with one flesh that has been twined together for the glory of The Creator , God. Very good article and discussion. Does anyone else agree? Or what’s your definition? I really like to hear them.

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Men: Step Away From the Slides

BY: - 30 Jan '13 | Marriage

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By Yvette M. Pierce

I STRONGLY DISLIKE when older men wear those slides, especially with socks. My husband LOVES to wear them just like that. Now, I believe there is a time and place to wear them…when your age is under 25, you are headed to take a shower in a public place or in your home. These are just my opinions. I know I am not the Fashion Police.

Well, this past weekend I had to swallow my words. I had on a pair of wedged-heel flip-flops. They were gray in color and covered in rhinestones. I needed to share all that with you because secretly I thought my shoes were better than my husband’s ugly slides.

But, (a Pastor taught me that once you use the word “but” in a conversation, everything before it is irrelevant) I was provided with a rude awakening. I was strutting through the hotel’s lobby and heard a snapping sound. After taking a few more steps, I realized that the piece that goes between my toes on my flip-flop had broken. What could I do at this point? I refused to take the shoe off and walk barefoot to reach the room.

My husband looked down at his feet and said, “Since I have socks on with my slides I will give the slides to you. That way, neither one of us will have to walk barefooted in this public area.”  I slid my feet in his shoes quicker than a child can leave a classroom at the last bell.

At that point, I started feeling all gushy inside. He was demonstrating the love that God has commanded us to show. As much as I have dogged him out about those NICE slides, he could’ve just as well kept on stepping leaving me to absorb all the germs alone.

That was another lesson learned. Never complain about someone else ‘s journey unless you have broken your flip-flops, slid across a hotel floor, almost broke your neck and given the honor to walk in someone else slides!

BMWK — What are some small gestures made by your spouse that remind you of how much they are?

About the author: Yvette M. Pierce is a wife, mother, Army veteran and blogger. She enjoys sharing her life experiences. She speaks on everyday situations seen from a totally different angle. Follow her on her journey at Kooleyscreation.blogspot.com

About the author

BMWK Staff wrote 1250 articles on this blog.

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