5 Parenting Mistakes I Will Never Make Again

BY: - 22 Feb '13 | Parenting

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Yes, I’m only human and no, I wasn’t provided a parenting handbook when I had my children. So the mishaps I have made along the way should be understandable, right? My parenting journey has included a little trial, some error, and a ton of advice from my older and wiser loved ones. But in the end, the raising of my daughters completely falls on the shoulders of my husband and me. To break it down even further, between the two of us, we each have our individual roles in our children’s lives and have to be fully responsible for the actions we take in our rearing.

If I had to start all over again, plus knowing what I know now, there are a few things I would do entirely different. There are certain consequences that will come directly from the actions I take or don’t take today. With their future being my top priority, here are the parenting mistakes I will never make again:

 Mistake #1: Not being tough enough. Somehow I found myself as the soft/easy parent. My husband became the parent our children were nervous about delivering bad news to because there would be more serious consequences with him. My wake up call came one day as I reviewed my daughter’s homework. As I gave her the thumbs up and told her to have her father look it over too she immediately began erasing and rewriting the work. I asked her why she was changing things and her response was that the current work wouldn’t be acceptable for daddy. It not only saddened me it also embarrassed me. But it was also exactly what I needed to hear to step my parenting game up big time.

Mistake #2: Not pushing my children out of their comfort zones more often. This was one of the biggest lessons I had to learn. By only giving them a gentle push and accepting C level grades allowed them to get a little too comfortable. If we as parents are not setting higher expectations for our children they are going to live and show up well below their potential.

 Mistake #3: Attempting to be the fun parent. Growing up, my mother was always the coolest parent on the block. She always made sure we had a good time. But she was also a great disciplinarian. My mom was no nonsense. Somewhere along the way I wanted to keep the fun part of parenting and got a little too relaxed on the discipline side. My being the fun parent was no good for anyone. We can have a good time, but it has to always be clear the discipline is what shapes them into responsible adults.

 Mistake #4: Assigning more responsibility early on. Here I was trying to be superwoman by taking care of the majority of the household tasks. Then one day it hit me, these children are not only old enough, but it is also necessary that they learn how to take care of a home. My only regret here is not introducing chores even sooner.

 Mistake #5: Protecting my children from disappointment. As a parent our goal is to always ensure our children are happy. So going out of my way and even sometimes inconveniencing others to make sure my daughters had what they wanted was just irresponsible. It came to a point where their expectations became ridiculous. It was time to nip this behavior in the bud. It is healthy for our children to experience disappointment. Again, this is another one of those life lessons that will benefit them greatly as adults. The sooner they learn and accept that sometimes life isn’t fair the better they will be able to adjust and move forward.

I am grateful to have caught these errors while my children were still young enough. My girls will be better off as a result of these tough love parenting techniques.

BMWK — What parenting mistakes have you made?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 635 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.


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8 WordPress comments on “5 Parenting Mistakes I Will Never Make Again

  1. Pingback: New York Homeless Man Sues Parents | Black and Married With Kids.com - A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

  2. Lissa

    That’s why i say: Beat yo kids! sometimes i feel guilty for being strict with my daughters but i see if i’m lenient what happens. They try to test you…stay strong. I HATE beating my daughter but boy is it necessary. Spankings don’t always work so i try different punishments for different offenses but it’s rough. Great article.

  3. Pingback: “Do I Look Like An ATM?”: Filling Souls With Soles | From Ashy to Classy

  4. Pingback: 4 Ways Christian Parents Fail Their Children | Black and Married With Kids.com - A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

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  6. Anonymous

    My mum is a soft parent. I find the discipline in my siblings. I came home with a CCD in my a levels which is awful compared to what I got at GCSE. My mother told me well done . it was then I realised that I needed look up to better people . a CCD can’t even get me into any university.

    All I’m saying us guys as parents us teens can be stubborn as can be but what u say always still rings in our ears. My dad would have wooped me and told me to break up with the guy I was with during all this because he isn’t motivating me to hit my potential but he isn’t there. Even if your a single parent . all I can say is push us and guide us. Even if we say we hate you , we will love you when we are not so stupid. I wish my mum pushed me more Cuz now I have to do my a levels all over again. Its my fault yes, but no one really encouraged me to do better.

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Study Finds Weight in Children May Impact Lung Function

BY: - 26 Feb '13 | Lifestyle

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There is new research to add to the growing list of why exercise and maintaining a healthy BMI is so critical for our children. As if the risk of diabetes wasn’t concerning enough, there is now the possibility that the functioning of our children’s lungs can be compromised. As referenced in Health Day, according to senior study author Dr. Deepa Rastogi:

“While it has been well documented that Hispanics and African-Americans — particularly those who live in urban settings — have a higher prevalence of asthma and obesity, there is less understanding of the lung function in overweight asthmatic minority children…”

“What we have learned from this study is that even small increases in weight can negatively impact lung function.”

Knowing such information may help physicians be able to better manage their patient’s needs. Even so, we as parents might have the ability to help our children before it gets to the point where medical attention is needed. We can do this various ways, including by encouraging exercise, exercising with our children, and providing nutritious food options. To learn more on this study visit Health Day.

BMWK — How do you help your children maintain a healthy lifestyle?

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BMWK Staff wrote 1250 articles on this blog.

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