I will never forget how excited I was when my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I went looking at engagement rings. Suddenly everything began to feel more real and exciting. I was finally going to marry the man that I felt I was created to love. It was only a matter of time. Several months later he surprised me by proposing. I said yes and while I loved my ring I was more excited about the fact that I had a ring. For weeks after, anyone who saw me immediately (and usually excitedly) asked to see “the ring.” I always showed them but it always felt a little weird. Suddenly the focus was on the ring and whether or not we had a wedding date.
My ring wasn’t the ring of my dreams. It wasn’t one I had looked at online or circled in a catalog. But because it came from the man of my dreams it was just perfect. It had some sparkle, a special story (he picked it out all by himself), and no payments because he had made the decision to get what he could afford.
I wore my ring with pride from the day we got married until the end of my third trimester of pregnancy. Suddenly the ring that I coveted for so long, the ring that I felt naked without, the ring that symbolized our union no longer fit. As I pried it off, my fingers winching in pain, my husband reminded me that it was just a ring. While pretty and symbolic, ring or not we had made vows to one another, and a promise to God. We were married.
At almost 6 months post partum I still can’t comfortably fit my ring. I’ve debated getting it re-sized but have ultimately decided to wait as my body is still going through various changes since giving birth.
From time to time I glance at my finger, the tan line from my ring is almost gone and my hands no longer feel bare. I laugh as I reflect on a time in which I was all about “the ring.” And then I got it and once the newness of being engaged wore off, I was reminded that there is more to our relationship than the piece of jewelry intended to indicate my relationship status.
An article by Ebony states that the ring can be a “source of pride for women.” While the article looks at it from the perspective of proposal, I am curious if women are still just as excited about the ring after settling into marriage or does your focus shift. Does that ring you guarded and handled with care during your engagement no longer excite you?
I love my ring and ever so often I miss it but on the bright side I’ve got my husband and have no intentions of outgrowing him. For more the importance of engagement rings for women visit Ebony.
BMWK — Are you still all about “the ring” now that you’re married? Is wearing your ring important to you? Is it important to you that your spouse wears theirs?
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