Honeymooning Every Year — Why It’s So Important

BY: - 26 Feb '13 | Marriage

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With all the stress from work, simply taking care of our families, and life in general, it’s sometimes easy to forget why we even got married in the first place. A while ago, I posted an article that discussed the importance of having that refreshing “girls weekend” to let our hair down. Well, it’s even more important that, as married couples, that we take the time to re-discover our lovers. What better way to do that than with a romantic getaway? Just the two of you. Nowadays, I appreciate a trip with my honey as an anniversary gift versus a dozen roses or a pair of earrings.

Studies have shown that couples who have travel together are more likely to say that romance is still alive in their relationships than those who don’t travel together. They also find traveling couples are more likely to communicate well with their partners, as well as have a good sex life…makes sense to me. If you’re busy planning your future together, then it should be hard to let much come between the two of you, right? As soon as the trip is over, we should be thinking, “Ok, now where do we go next?”

A lot of us may feel guilty leaving the kids behind, or even feel like we can’t afford a vacation. Whatever the reason, you should really know that you deserve it! Both of you should commit to planning for the months ahead. It doesn’t have to be Hawaii. It could be a hotel near the lake, a weekend rental on a beach within driving distance or a suburban bed and breakfast. Whatever you can do, do it! We owe it to ourselves and our marriages to enjoy each other and relax at the end of the day, opposed to being too tired for intimacy. When you don’t have to get up, go to work, do laundry, cook, clean, etc. for a few days, you have the energy you need (and have been lacking) to have fun with your spouse.

Let’s face it, sometimes a change of scenery is all you need to re-focus on your honey and why you fell in love in the first place. A lot of us who have kids know that privacy is a luxury and that our homes are not the first things that come to mind when we think of ultimate relaxation. Speaking of children, it’s actually great for them to see us doing this. It shows them just how important our marriage is to us and that we love each other!

Just remember how good you felt on your very first honeymoon. That should be incentive enough to do it again…and again! And please…make sure that the only communication you will accept, will be family emergencies only. Leave Facebook, all other social media and e-mail behind. The only thing you should be turning on is EACH OTHER!

BMWK — Do you already take these annual getaways with your spouse?

About the author

Sheree Adams wrote 117 articles on this blog.

Sheree is a wife and WAHM of three who passionately blogs about marriage, family, health tips and more as Smart & Sassy Mom. Sheree is committed to helping blended families and keeping marriages strong, healthy, fun and SPICY!


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5 WordPress comments on “Honeymooning Every Year — Why It’s So Important

  1. Janet Dubac

    I absolutely agree! There’s nothing better than going to new places with the one and only person that you want to be with. For me, it’s the best gift for a special occasion. Thank you for sharing this post Sheree! 🙂

  2. Pingback: Are You Doing A Yearly Honeymoon?

  3. Pingback: Travel Tuesday: Honeymoon Resorts | Black and Married With Kids.com - A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

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My Money and My Marriage: 3 Lessons a Roadtrip to D.C. Taught Me About My Money Issues

BY: - 26 Feb '13 | Marriage

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By Kara I. Stevens

My husband and I took a weekend jaunt to D.C. this Presidents’ weekend to get away and reconnect with some friends. We pulled into a rest stop and he asked for my credit card to fill the tank.

“How much would that cost?” I asked.

He said, “Around $65.00 or $70.00.”

He noticed my discomfort and said, “Look, babes, we are married and I am all in, you gotta stop looking at our money as separate.”

I saw his lips moving, but all I could think about was my mother and how my father took advantage of her, left her with two wonderful kids to raise alone, and notoriously swindled many a women out of their hard-earned dollars — starting with what I imagine was a conversation similar to the one that I was having with my husband.

But on the way to buy some water while my husband used my  our  my credit card to fill up his our tank, my ‘aha’ moments surfaced.

My husband is not my father. I am not my mother. 

Does my upbringing impact my thoughts, feelings, and proclivities with respect to the opposite sex, money, and how money and marriage should mix? Absolutely! Am I one of Pavlov’s dogs that operate strictly on conditioning — thus making my past experiences and behaviors an indication of my future moves? Absolutely not!

I firmly believe that you can change anything about yourself, your thinking, or life if  you want to. I think it can be extremely seductive and safe to use the stock phrases such as “absentee father,” “single-parent household,” or  “broken home” to win sympathy and be excused from the hard work of being proactive in your self-improvement.

I want to improve my money mindset and I will improve it because our happiness and comfort are at stake.

The merging of finances will be a gradual process and it will be dynamic as our marriage matures.

I reject any formulas, and ‘must-dos’ that tell newlyweds or partners how to manage their money without understanding the couple personally. Growing a money blueprint will be trial-and-error and will change with the unexpected spills and thrills of life (e.g. a windfall of money, a loss of a job). Currently, we maintain not only the separate bank accounts with which we entered the marriage, but we also created joint checking and savings accounts with yearly targets based on our expenses and incomes. It works for us now, it may; however, change as our marriage grows and I am fine with that.

Be honest from the beginning about your expectations; and if you can’t be honest, be brave.

When we started dating, I pushed the idea that expenses should be shared equally amongst partners. But in hindsight, I think what I wanted was for my husband to pay the majority of the entertainment costs and we would tackle household expenses together. Now, it is my responsibility to express my feelings and thoughts about this since he is keeping up with his side of the agreement and my feelings and expectations have changed.

BMWK — What are your thoughts about money and your man? Have you and your partner discussed how expenses should be taken care of? What models of marriage have influenced how you interact with your money and your man? 

Kara Stevens blogs at FabulousNFrugal, a personal finance blog for women-of-color. Kara gives practical tips on all things girl power, wealth management, and juicy living. Connect with her on Twitter: @fabandfrugal 

About the author

BMWK Staff wrote 1255 articles on this blog.

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