Venue rented: Check!
Made sure the planner took care of all of the decorations: Check!
Arranged for the Limo to transport you to the venue: Check!
DJ is set up: Check!
Sounds like it’s going to be one great night! Yup those are some of the logistics that have to be taken care of when you are having a wedding reception, but what happens when those are the same logistics you have to take care of when you get a divorce? Yes, you guessed it; I am talking about the controversial topic of the disturbing trend of Divorce Parties.
As if it isn’t bad enough already that couples are getting divorced and families are being broken up at such a high rate, but now we find it fitting to CELEBRATE the breaking up of those families. The Divorce Party business is growing at a high rate, one top retailer mentions that his divorce party supplies are up 30% in the last 3 years and another planner says she books divorce parties from anywhere from $5000-$20,000! Wow thats one huge price tag! When in America did we begin to celebrate the ending of marriages. When did we begin to glorify the fact that we broke the vows and the covenant that we created under God? When did we give up the idea of until death do us part and substitute it with lets split up and celebrate about it?
I do understand that the process of a divorce can be devastating and can drain someone mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally. For some people they argue a divorce party is a “celebration of a new start” or a “celebration of closure.” That sounds good and all, but the bottom line is that if you are going to call it a divorce party then the perception is that it’s a celebration of divorce. Furthermore just because dealing with a divorce is difficult doesn’t mean that we should celebrate it when it’s over. The analogy I would use is; if we have a kid who decides to drop out of college, should we throw him a party just because his classes were really hard? I would argue that odds are that wouldn’t happen.
The biggest implication and the real reason I have an issue with the idea of divorce parties is the message that it’s sending to others. If we reinforce a lack of success with celebration then what is the incentive to actually try to succeed? Divorces are causing families to break up every day and we can act as if it’s no big deal, but our communities are suffering because of it. Our kids are being damaged, and our adults are becoming broken as a result of divorce and I think the last thing we should be doing is celebrating it. Divorce is definitely a reality in our society, but maybe we should focus more of our energy on how to heal from the divorce so we don’t carry baggage and become an even better person and mate for the next relationship instead of spending thousands of dollars to celebrate how much of a jerk our ex mate was or how much money we gained from alimony. Maybe we should spend some time reflecting because I’m almost sure you carry some fault in the relationship’s end as well. Or, is it that you were so perfect that you feel the need to celebrate your “victory?” There are already enough reasons to celebrate; I’m not sure that divorce should be added to the list.
BMWK — Get involved in the conversation: What are your views on divorce parties? Are they fair or foul? Would you want your husband or wife to attend a divorce party?