It Gives Me Joy to See My Husband Happy

BY: - 15 Mar '13 | Marriage

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My husband and I both got the text message:

I have 2 tickets to the ACC tournament, and you all can have them if you want.

I didn’t respond. It was 8:30 a.m. and work was calling. Heck, I didn’t even know the ACC Tournament was in town. It’s more than a big deal in North Carolina, so you would’ve thought I would be aware that traffic would be hectic around the coliseum and men, including mine, would be glued to the television for the next week or so (or however long the tournament is.). All I knew was I was exhausted and looking forward to our Thursday date night. For more than 5 years, we’ve been blessed to have grandparents keep our daughter overnight so we can have couple time. Sounds perfect, doesn’t it?

Beep. . . beep… here comes the text message: TICKETS TO THE ACC BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT.

Now, I am all for changing the routine and even hanging with my hubby at sporting events. We’ve been in the nosebleed seats at an NBA game. We’ve attended the NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament. I’ve even indulged him by sitting through a 3-hour baseball game. I’m not a dumb wife; I’ll do what my man asks of me. And he does the same for me, including waiting at the department store dressing room while I try on countless dresses. This particular day, however, I did not want to go to the game, fight traffic, squeeze through crowds, or try to stay awake for four hours through two games. No matter how much I love being with my man, my mind and body were not having it. My husband, on the other hand, was beyond excited.

So what do you think I did?

a. Led him on like I really wanted to go to the game.
b. Told him I was tired and there was no way I could go.
c. Asked him who he wanted to go to the game with — me or a guy friend.
d. Acted like I didn’t receive the text message, hoping he would forget.

Before I give my answer, what would you have done? Let’s remember that each relationship is different. You know your man, as do I know mine. And because I know him, I knew his first choice was to go with me; we love being together. I also knew that he would never act like he was choosing his friend over his wife.  What my husband needed from me in that moment was permission to take a guy friend and what I needed from him was permission to go home and crash. It pleases me to say we both got what we needed.

Here is how I handled it.

Say babe, Why don’t you call ________(insert name of guy friend)? I’m really tired. Exhausted, and just don’t see how I can make it sitting through two basketball games back to back. I’m sorry. Why don’t you call. . . I know you will have a good time.

Before I could finish my explanation, my beloved hubby had the phone in his hand. I ain’t mad at him for that.  How could I be? Just 20 minutes into my “me time” and into his game time I hear, beepbeep. It’s another unexpected text message, this time a picture from inside the basketball arena. Awww…(can’t you see me blushing?) he was having a good time with a guy friend, but he couldn’t forget his best friend. I experienced more joy  that evening looking at his text than I would have at the game.

When you get to the place in your marriage where you have pure joy because your spouse is happy, that’s when you know the two of you have truly become one.

BMWK — What gives you joy in your marriage?

About the author

Dr. Michelle Johnson wrote 75 articles on this blog.

Dr. Michelle Johnson is the founder of Alabaster Woman Ministries, an online international women's ministry. She is a wife, mother, writer, speaker, teacher. Through her daily blog, online radio show, and video Bible studies, Dr. Michelle encourages women and married couples to make God the center of their lives.

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One thought on “It Gives Me Joy to See My Husband Happy

  1. Really?

    Girl you better get your man in check. You out slavin away at a job, are looking forward to a date night, and he dares to go to that game with his boy?

    There is no way my man would have fallen for that. I make sure a I test him all the time… go make sure he thinks right.

    My man may be pretty dumb, and he may not make a ton of money, but he is smart enough to know that he better make enough for me not to have a job, or im out. My mama didnt raise no fool, who would keep some broke man around. If my man told me to get a job, I would laugh in his face and pack my bags. Aint nothing more pathetic than a broke ass man.

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How to Enjoy Your Marriage

BY: - 18 Mar '13 | Lifestyle

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Once you start your new lives together, daily routines will start to make your marriage seem dull. You may feel like your marriage is boring and wonder if that is how marriage is supposed to feel. Well, I want to tell you that you can enjoy your marriage no matter how long you’ve been married. Below are some tips to help.

  • Go on dates with each other. Visit a new restaurant or live music venue to make it seem like you are still in the dating phase of your relationship. If your spouse has a hobby or interest that you are not too fond of, try the hobby with them. My husband plays dominoes and I didn’t know how to play, so he taught me and that gave us something to do together. Visit somewhere you have not gone together in the past. This will give you something new to talk about.
  • If a date night is not possible due to schedules and/or kids, plan something for the two of you at home.  Cook something different; maybe eat in the dining room listening to background music instead of in front of the television. However, if you are sports fans and a game is on, you may have to try a special lunch or breakfast. Perhaps trying a new bottle of wine can help break up the monotony of the day.
  •  The bedroom. Yes things can get redundant in the bedroom. May I suggest trying new positions and/or toys? You are married now so you have a license to have sex, enjoy it! If toys are not your forte, you may want to role play. That will definitely spice up the bedroom time. Speaking of bedroom time, perhaps taking it to another room in your house will add to the enjoyment.

Finally, marriage will have exciting and not so exciting times. The level of enjoyment is the responsibility of both parties in order to have a fulfilling life together. Enjoy trying new things, tackling new challenges, and learning each other.

BMWK — What do you do to enjoy your marriage?

About the author

Latoya Irving wrote 91 articles on this blog.

Latoya Irving is a former Air Force brat who loves writing about relationships, and family. She believes God should be the center of both. She is married with two kids and currently live in Texas.

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