The Importance of Communication

BY: - 12 Mar '13 | Marriage

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In real estate the one word that is heard most is location, location, location! The reason is the better the location of the property, the better chance it has to sell, which is the primary goal. Well in marriage, the one word you must remember is communication, communication, communication! The reason is the better the communication; the better chance your marriage has to succeed, which is the primary goal. Communication is not just about talking, but about listening and really hearing what your spouse is saying. Take your spouse’s feelings seriously, don’t just toss them aside like a magazine you’ve just read. If you don’t listen effectively and take action, the foundation of your marriage may start to show some cracks.

Assumptions cannot be made in marriage. Don’t assume your spouse knows what you want and how you feel. One thing that should be learned early in marriage is the ability to relate your feelings to your spouse. If your husband or wife does not know that a particular habit gets on your nerves, don’t blow up at them for the repeated offense. You have to inform them, no one can read minds. Share your feelings with your spouse in a loving way. Be sure to avoid starting the conversation with “you” and use “I” when sharing. Try starting with the phrase “I feel __________, when you ______.”  That way the conversation doesn’t have an accusatory tone and your spouse does not shut down and immediately become defensive. A good time to share your feelings is when the behavior happens. Be calm if possible and be sure to think before you speak. Also, if you feel your spouse is not doing something you would like, you can also start by saying “I would love it if you would__________.”  Be reasonable with your requests; don’t ask for anything that could be detrimental to your marriage.

After you share your feelings with your spouse, leave it alone. The decision to stop or start a behavior is up to your spouse. Some time may pass before you see a change; sometimes you may not see a change at all. My suggestion is to pray. Prayer changes people, people don’t change people. Be mindful that when you pray, God may start to change you first.  Adjustments on both parts may be necessary in certain situations. Do not worry; this is a good thing, better yet, a God thing. He called you together; He knows how to keep you together. Storms may come in your marriage, but take comfort in Matthew 7:25-The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.

BMWK — Are you communicating effectively?

About the author

Latoya Irving wrote 91 articles on this blog.

Latoya Irving is a former Air Force brat who loves writing about relationships, and family. She believes God should be the center of both. She is married with two kids and currently live in Texas.

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8-Year-Old Boy Marries 61-Year-Old Woman to Honor Deceased Grandfather

BY: - 12 Mar '13 | Marriage

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Photo Credit: via WBLS’s Facebook Page

At some point we all will or already have experienced pressure from family members to tie the knot, but you ultimately do it on your own time, right? In some cases, we actually want to do so, but the circumstances just aren’t quite right. We haven’t met the right one…finances are not right…There are tons of issues that keep us from the alter. For others, there is NOTHING that could stand in the way of marrying their love. Such is the case, for this May–December romance: Meet 8-year-old Sanele Masilela, whose dead grandfather reportedly wished for him to marry 61-year-old married mother-of-five Helen Shabangu.

Both the bride and groom are from the town of Tshwane, South Africa, and they agreed to the ceremony out of fear of divine retribution. Sanele’s family paid £500 to the bride as a dowry, and the wedding itself cost £1,000. They were able to plan the ceremony, which they admitted shocked some members of the community, in the span of only two months (It would have me that long to decide on colors.).

While some are experiencing shock and awe, others are revering this brave couple for going against the grain and upholding their ancestors’ wishes. Luckily, according to the groom’s mother, this ceremony was just for show and was in no way legally binding. The couple (for lack of a better word) have moved on with their individual lives and are both happy with their decision to have the ceremony.

BMWK — What are your thoughts on having your child participate as a child bride/groom?

About the author

Sheree Adams wrote 117 articles on this blog.

Sheree is a wife and WAHM of three who passionately blogs about marriage, family, health tips and more as Smart & Sassy Mom. Sheree is committed to helping blended families and keeping marriages strong, healthy, fun and SPICY!

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