The Single Life: Dating Laz Alonzo

BY: - 11 Mar '13 | Relationships

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This weekend, I was the envy of all of my girlfriends—single and married. I attended the Disney Dreamer’s Academy to report for my blog, Diary of a First Time Mom, and my other love, Black and Married with Kids. The girls weren’t jealous of my quality time with Mickey Mouse—who by the way, is much shorter in person! They envied the handsome actors I spent time with. Lance Gross—who is as sweet as he is sexy, Lamman Rucker—who is as grounded as the day we met on a public bus 15 years ago, and Laz Alonso whose spirit is as beautiful as his smile. Someone whispered into my ear, asking if Laz was only eye candy and couldn’t string a sentence together. He proved her wrong when he had an eloquent and inspirational conversation on stage, and a genuine approach off. I thought about my column and wondered what it would be like to go out on a date with him. A good-looking guy isn’t always a model man. I wondered why Meagan Goode’s character (Joanna) on NBC’s Deception didn’t give him much play. So, when he was off the clock, Laz and I went on a “date.” So what if a dozen people didn’t give us the privacy we wanted. So what if it wasn’t “technically” a date. We didn’t sit down to eat a meal or to watch a movie it was more like a red carpet press line. But we did engage in an interesting exchange, which at times is more satisfying than steak.

Heather: Laz, what are you looking for in a significant other, in a mate?

Laz: A mate? (Laughs) I never referred to a woman as a mate.

Heather: Right, but I’m not referring to someone you casually date. I’m talking about the person you might marry.

Laz: (Smiles) Right. When I’ve had the best relationships—that to me have stood out above the rest, I wasn’t looking. I was open and available. And I met the person that in my opinion God felt I needed at the time. You know how they say you have friends that are there for a moment, what is it—a reason, a season, a lifetime?

Heather: Yep. It’s in Ecclesiastes.

Laz: Right. There we go! I have not yet met my mate (laughs), my lifetime mate, but I do know that she’s out there. And it’s my job to remain open and to remain available. And to not clutter my life with unnecessary people who would keep her away in the event that I do meet her.

Heather: When you meet her does she have to come in a certain package? Do you have any non-negotiables?

Laz: I wouldn’t want someone to use a non-negotiable on me. Or write me off for something without getting to know me and my character, and who I am. Obviously you have things that attract you, but I try my best to not to have any non-negotiables. You never know who’s going to be that one.

Heather: Expectations are so different now. I just reentered the dating scene. I don’t date men who don’t pick up the phone and rely mainly on texting as a form of communication. Would you text back and forth?

Laz: My phone is my office. In my profession, I don’t have a workplace that I go to everyday. I get so many texts and emails—my agent, my manager, everybody’s hitting me. When it comes to personal relationships, I don’t want to text. I’m not going to sit and have an emotional or three page conversation telling you how I feel when we can do that in a conversation. And the beauty of technology is you can Facetime, Tango or Skype. You can see the person when you talk to them. And really see and hear their sincerity. I try to keep my text communication to business and my personal relationships more personal.

Heather: I agree! Thank you.

Laz: Thank you. It was nice meeting you.

And that’s how our date ended. Until we meet again over dinner or drinks, but definitely not over text messaging! Tonight, I’ll cuddle on the couch, and tune in to NBC’s Deception, perhaps cursing under my breath at Joanna for sleeping with Will (Laz) and then running into the arms of a rich man.

Want to read more about what Laz thinks about dating women with children?  Read more  and let me know if you want me to ask Laz on our second date.

About the author

Heather Hopson wrote 59 articles on this blog.

Not long ago, Heather Hopson was an award-winning television host in the Cayman Islands. Today, she's writing a different kind of story as a new mom. She gives readers the key to her diary and shares personal stories about single parenting, dating, transitioning to motherhood and her obsession with being what her family calls an "activity mom." The site features celebrity interviews, parent spotlights and confessional videos. Follow her journey through motherhood on Twitter @dearmomdiary.

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  • Kirstin (aka The Travelin Diva)

    OMG! I am so envious…You hung out with all my favorite actors this weekend. LOL :-)

  • Natasha Shpiner

    Single parent dating tips and strategies that allow parents to maintain their child’s sense of security while they are dating.

    Los Angeles matchmaker

  • Charlotte

    I knew Laz was more than eye candy, he’s a Howard Bison man! He appears to be very level headed and the Hollywood thang is just a job for him. At the end of the day, the brother is still grounded.

  • Liline

    Laz is finnne. Among others he is one of my celeb crush.

  • Tortorici

    I think Laz is a great actor,and I watch any movie he is in,but I have one question why when he plays a police officer role he is always shot dead? maybe Alonzo Laz can give me an answer Lol no but Im serious about my question.

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Be Careful…Misery Loves Company!

BY: - 12 Mar '13 | Marriage

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Isn’t it funny that when you have something negative to say about your spouse, some people are all ears? Or, if you have complaints about your marriage, that you get all of the attention. Maybe it’s just me, but I agree with the age old cliche’ that misery loves company…but why is that? I know it’s not that we all enjoy seeing people suffer or that we get some type of fulfillment by seeing the shortcomings of people and their marriages. I think that by natural compassion, people flock to one another because they feel some type of cohesiveness or there is an innate desire to comfort those who are in need. Let’s just face it, some people are just nosy/messy!

What I have found is that when I don’t have complaints about my marriage or when I’m not rattling off my marital moans and gripes, then a lot of conversations with acquaintances are cut short. Sadly, when I’m singing the praises of my husband and thanking God for all the blessings that have been bestowed upon my marriage, then people either think that I’m bragging or that it’s just not juicy enough, so they move on. Thankfully and truthfully, there are a lot of times where actually nothing needs “fixing” and there is a space of happiness and complete euphoria. After all, isn’t that what we strive for? Isn’t that what we work so hard for — to be happily married and to have that “happily ever after?”

I was just having a conversation with two women and we all agree that you should dream and expect great things and claim victory over anything that you want to achieve! At some point, I know that I have claimed victory and happiness in my marriage and I’m currently achieving it! For that, I am so grateful. We should all say nice things to and about our spouses, sometimes even when we don’t feel like it. We should begin to speak blessings and peace within our marriage until they come into existence. Use kind and loving words to one another, even when we don’t want to. Just go ahead and claim happiness, even during the times when we are not.

Lastly, be careful who you talk to about your marriage, because everybody that claims to be your friend, is not. Some people will view your complaints about your marriage as a weakness that they could “prey on” when they smile and say they will “pray for” you. We all know there’s no such thing as a perfect marriage but we can strive for perfection, at least we’ll be close to it. When we speak positivity into our lives, we can achieve it. When we talk to our mates about what we want in our marriage, the possibilities are endless. Notice I said, our mates. All others — OPTIONAL.

BMWK — Who do you talk to about the good and bad in your marriage?

About the author

Sheree Adams wrote 117 articles on this blog.

Sheree is a wife and WAHM of three who passionately blogs about marriage, family, health tips and more as Smart & Sassy Mom. Sheree is committed to helping blended families and keeping marriages strong, healthy, fun and SPICY!

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