Are You A 5-Star Spouse? Here Is Your Test

BY: - 20 May '13 | Marriage

Share this article!

TNMCoupleHugSecret

We’re all familiar with 5-Star generals in the military and 5-Star ratings for movies, hotels and restaurants. But what we may not be as acquainted with is how to be rated a 5-Star spouse.

Generally, ratings are gathered by reviewers/critics who experience the properties, film or eatery. During the hotel and restaurant rating process, the service, graciousness, courtesy and thoughtfulness are all measured with the idea being to create a memorable experience for the guest. Although each of the above mentioned are rated based on the opinion of an individual or group of individuals’ personal encounter, our relationships are based on the opinion of our spouses.

What if marriage was measured on how well each spouse performed? If your individual performance as a spouse was rated, do you think you would receive a 5, 4, 3, 2 or 1-star rating?

If you’re not quite sure, read the following descriptions of each rating.

5-Star = Exceptional, Superior and the Ultimate experience
This spouse completely understands the concept of marriage. They are selfless and have committed to making their partner a top priority. The goal is to always provide the highest degree of service. In this relationship, you will find the majority of the key ingredients needed for a successful relationship. The ultimate sacrifices are made and this partner is willing to risk all for the sake of the marriage.

4-Star = Really, Really Good
This partner is aware of all the necessary strengths required for a healthy marriage and is actually putting forth a great deal of effort. Sometimes they may miss a few of the minor ingredients, but the marriage is still great and on track for future marriage success.

3-Star = Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
Things could be better in this relationship. This spouse is doing the bare minimum to keep the marriage afloat. Unfortunately, we may not find this partner going above and beyond, or making serious sacrifices. This marriage happens to be mediocre at best, which is acceptable to this spouse.

2-Star = Below Average
This spouse is missing the mark. They are repeating the same behaviors although they claim to want a better marriage. They simply cannot get over themselves. This partner is not willing to make internal sacrifices no matter what they stand to lose.

1-Star = The Worst, Poorest
The marriage is definitely not a priority for this spouse. There may be a lot of blame shifting and a lack of love and respect. They have no desire of being a 4 or 5-star spouse. The service/attitude is poor with limited contributions. Unfortunately, if this partner doesn’t change quickly, their behavior will permanently damage this relationship.

The 5-star spouse may be rare, but it is a standard we all should be striving to obtain. If you aren’t quite there yet, don’t fret, cause neither am I. We must make it our mission to give our spouses the 5-star service they deserve. It requires denying the selfish attitudes and behaviors that prevent us from consistently delivering the highest quality of service.

BMWK, how would you rate your performance as a spouse?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 555 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out about Couple's Coaching visit www.lifeediting.com.

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress

2 WordPress comments on “Are You A 5-Star Spouse? Here Is Your Test

  1. Pingback: Accepting Someone For Who They Are Sometimes Isn’t Enough | From Ashy to Classy

Leave a Reply

Get
All Articles Delivered To Your Inbox Daily! Sign up below!

“The Talk” That Changes Everything…3 Scenarios To Think About!

BY: - 21 May '13 | Marriage

Share this article!

TNMCouplePregnantShoes

The other day my wife and I had  “the talk.”  You know, the one about potentially bringing miniature versions of us into this world.  Now that we’ve had the discussion, all l I keep seeing  are rebellious teenagers, all I keep hearing in my ears is screaming and temper tantrums, all I taste in my mouth is smashed peas and carrots, and all I keep feeling is like I don’t have a clue about how to take care of someone who will be totally dependent on me.   It’s almost surreal that I am even having that conversation, but it’s even more mind blowing that it’s very possible that in a few years I could possibly be someone’s father! I’m sitting over here sucking my thumb (okay not really, maybe sipping my beer) right now getting butterflies in my stomach and thinking “life just got real!”

Okay so first, you are telling me that not only do I have to deal with pregnancy hormones and go buy my wife ice cream and pickles in the middle of the night, but I also have to buy diapers, baby food, and formula.  Geesh…you have to be kidding me!  And  ummmmm I don’t know how I feel about baby formula replacing my beer budget! There has to be some room to negotiate here or something.  Oh and now you are telling me that I will have to wake up like 3 or 4 times a night just because the baby doesn’t feel like sleeping!? Don’t you know how much I enjoy my sleep and how cranky I am without my 8 hours?!  Hold up…what did you just say….did you just say that my kid might have the audacity to pee or throw up on me after I already got dressed for work!? Now you know I can’t function when I am thrown off schedule!! Boy oh boy I might need to reconsider this talk we just had.

Well maybe I need to stop being so selfish and realize that a baby can’t help being helpless, plus he or she  will be so cute that it won’t bother me as much as I think. That’s what I thought until you told me one day these kids will turn into teenagers and start driving me crazy. I don’t know how much eye rolling and talking back I will be able to deal with without ending up behind bars. Then you are telling me that my kids are going to be walking around with their little headphones on with their little I-whatevers, being lazy and acting entitled. They are going to want money for activities and trips and then they are going to want groceries as well, but they are going to act like they can’t do any chores.  Huh…you have got to be kidding me, not after all this working I’ve been doing trying to make sure that my future family will be taken care of.  Did you just say they are going to want to date other little boys or girls and I am going to have to have THAT “the talk” with them?   Oh boy this can’t be life and my brain is starting to hurt.

Alright so I finally broke my pockets and got them off to college. They worked hard, got a degree so help me understand why on earth they are back at my door talking about they need a place to stay because they can’t find a job?! I thought our work was done!  I thought the wife and I had the house to ourselves…just us, my man cave, her knitting room, and our Medicare benefits but now these kids are showing back up. Does it never end?

Hold up what’s that I hear…who is pregnant? Grandkids on the way….well maybe they won’t be so bad!

I guess y’all can see that I have played the scenarios out in my mind and I am sure my wife and I will be in for many surprises when we enter into parenthood, but I know one thing that I plan to have remain consistent and that’s that my wife and I plan to be very unselfish, and to support each other through the process. Today President Obama spoke at the Morehouse Commencement and he said one thing that stuck with me, he said “I know that when I am on my death bed one day I will not be thinking about any piece of legislation, or my Nobel peace prize; I will be thinking about that walk I took with my daughters….and that I did right by them!” I am sure parenthood won’t be an easy task, but I am sure about one thing and that’s that I will set the best example for my children that I possibly can.

BMWK Family get involved in the conversation: What are the biggest challenges of becoming a new parent?

About the author

Troy Spry wrote 181 articles on this blog.

Troy Spry a Certified Life, Dating, and Relationship Coach and the one and only "Reality Expert", resides in Charlotte, NC. He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration! He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress