Don’t Weaken Your Marriage Over Some B.S.

BY: - 6 May '13 | Communication

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Yes, petty thoughts, actions and ideas can ruin a marriage. It may not always seem like a big deal while we’re going through it, but over time the smallest things can actually cause the biggest challenges. Marriage requires everyday effort and we have to do our part by controlling our mouth, doing what leads to peace and eliminating that which does not. There are certain ideas we can not allow to creep into our relationship. One of those involves the amount of B.S. that shows up. B.S., which stands for Blind-Sightedness, can surface in a few different ways.

One being the ability to close our eyes to the personal mess we bring and only point out that of our partner. We aren’t perfect and shouldn’t even pretend to be. We are human just like our partner. We make mistakes, exhibit attitudes, let our pride get in the way and sometimes act like children, just like other humans. The best relationships involve two people who are willing to take ownership of what they bring that causes relationship destruction and do the opposite.

Another way is when we fail to see that problems even exist in the relationship which, if neglected too long, begins to eat away at the foundation of any healthy partnership. When we put our blinders on to the facts of the relationship, especially the things become even worse. We have too many resources and professionals who have devoted their life’s purpose to making sure more healthy relationships exist. There really isn’t any excuse for not getting the help we need to improve our marriages. But before we seek that help, we have to acknowledge, within that partnership, things could be better.

Lastly, being blind-sighted to when we have a relationship worth saving. Some take for granted they have a marriage worth fighting for. Yes, things won’t always be perfect, but if it is a relationship of significance, allow those good areas to spill over into the rest of the marriage. Too many of us are blinded by what’s wrong in the relationship that we miss all the great things that are happening. Which can create the blueprint for our marriage success.

Losing sight of the vision we had for our marriage is also problematic. When we’re thrown off course, we sometimes forget, we can get right back on track. Keeping our eyes focused on the ultimate goal in our relationship will remind us of all the little things we need to do to maintain our marriage.

I love the popular quote “to be aware is to be alive”. It is a general term, but it definitely applies to our committed relationships. We must keep our eyes open, stay focused on the plans for our marriage and be ready and willing to take action when problems arise. Our ultimate goal should be to eliminate the B.S.

BMWK, is there B.S. happening in your relationship?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 635 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit and


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3 WordPress comments on “Don’t Weaken Your Marriage Over Some B.S.

  1. Diane

    Thank you for this. I have grown to express how I feel immediately including admitting my area of fault and an apology. Communications is the key. The Bible clearly tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger. Maintain peace by praying for one another, forgiving quickly and talking things over in a calm and loving way as soon as an issue arises. And always give on another room to breath. May God bless us all in our relationships and in every area of our lives. He is our Center and Beloved Saviour. Amen.

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