Having More Kids: What’s the Magic Number?

BY: - 10 May '13 | Marriage

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My husband and I have two beautiful children.  Our 3-year-old son is hilarious and our 6-month-old daughter already has a ton of personality.  Some days I wake up and I am excited by the idea of adding one more little one to the mix. But I can’t front – some days I think two is plenty, and my husband and I are not trying to be outnumbered.

So, how do we decide whether or not we should add another child to our family? How do we figure out what the right choice is…  for us?  I see people with four, five, or six kids and I think “ wow, props to them for juggling it all… that is some hard work.”  And so, I wonder, “can we be great parents to more than two children?”

As I approach my mid-thirties I do feel a sense of urgency about making a decision. Lately, my husband and I have been asking ourselves some really important questions.  How financially comfortable will we be with more than two kids? Can we successfully manage our careers with more than two kids?  Will we be able to give three kids as much of ourselves as we are giving to two?

I think the decision to have kids, regardless of how many, is a very personal one.  This is why I have never understood the judgment towards married couples who don’t want children. Not everyone is meant to raise children, and I have a whole lot of respect for someone who recognizes that they are one of those people.  Parenthood is some serious stuff.

It’s so easy for people to say, “don’t have anymore… you don’t want them to outnumber you,” or “ there is no difference between two or three… just go for it.”  However, offering advice about how many kids a couple should have is something people should approach with some caution, because parenting is a very different journey for everyone. Raising five kids may be something that some parents do with grace and relative ease, while having more than one or two kids is just too much for others.

So, where do we go from here?  I’m not sure.  I can say that on most days of the week I think one more sounds like a pretty awesome idea, so chances are we’ll go for it (not yet, though.).  On the days when I have doubts, I think it’s really fear creeping in.  In my heart, I believe that my husband and I have what it takes to raise three kids, and raise them well (assuming God gives us three kids).  But, I’ll tell you what – I think three is my max (I know my limits).

BMWK Family, what are some things your family considered when deciding how many kids to have? 


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  • Anna Mae

    I have three children and, to be honest, I didn’t really consider too much of anything, other than the fact that I didn’t want to have any kids after I turned 30, prior to having a child…and another one, and another one…lol

    In retrospect, that was not the smartest thing to do, however, what’s done is done. I have three beautiful children that I absolutely adore! I once, and kind of still do, had the mentality that “there’s not a big difference between two and three children.” Well, that’s true and it’s not true. In terms of just everyday living, I don’t find that there’s that much of a difference. I like having three because they keep each other occupied. Financially, there is a difference though. There’s a difference in paying for daycare, clothes, groceries, summer activities and after school activities for 1 versus 2 or 2 versus 3 children.

    Ironically, even though I have my tubes tied and I’m 30, every now and then I find myself entertaining the thought of having another child lol, but the cost of daycare alone is a huge deterrent!!

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