Pssst…Fellas: Wanna Know How to Really Turn Your Wife On?

BY: - 27 Jun '13 | Intimacy

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Okay before you get really excited, I will start by saying that it has absolutely nothing to do with whip cream, whips, lotions or other erotica. Rather, these are little things you can do almost instinctively to guarantee you won’t always be the one to initiate the love making.

1. Be domestic sexy without us having to ask you to be…ok seriously, contrary to popular beliefs, we really don’t get any great joy out of nagging you to do the same things we asked you to do six months prior. Our greatest joy comes when we only have to ask or mention it to you one time, and then come home to find that it’s been done. When is the last time you surprised your wife by checking that item off of your list before she even had to ask you?

2. Pay close attention to the little things…they really do count. It sounds cliche but it’s true. I love “just because” flowers but I also love ice cream (and cookies, and cake, and…ah well, you get the point). So when hubby surprises me with my favorite ice cream, especially after he knows I’ve had a rough day, or I have an important event coming up, it makes me all types of happy. And he in turn gets to share in my happiness *wink*. Do you know what “little things” make your wife happy?

3. Do some of the things you used to do when you were still dating. When a husband does anything reminiscent of the dating days — opening the car door for us, cuddling/snuggling w/o it being sexual, etc — it gives us that new love tingle inside. What’s one thing your wife loved that you did when you were dating but no longer do?

4. Going back to domestic sexy: Most wives I know love when their hubby offers to make breakfast or dinner so they can take some bonus time off to do what they want (sleep in a little late, go get a mani/pedi, go shopping, read a book, etc). I don’t know what it is about a man in the kitchen, but it’s a turn on for most of us. When is the last time you surprised your wife by making dinner or breakfast in bed?

5. Make her feel special. Genuine comments about how much you love your wife, or how sexy she looks all dressed up, is music to our ears…especially after having kids and body parts just don’t look like they used to. But don’t just toss these comments around ’cause you wanna get to to rollin’ around in the bed. Mean it. When is the last time you gave your wife a compliment without the insinuation of sex afterwards?

6. Make the plans. Instead of coming home and asking what she wants to do for date night or eat for dinner, take the initiative to make the plans. Come home and tell her to be dressed and ready to go by 7. Surprise her every now and again by taking the reigns. When is the last time you took care of the plans without your wife having to ask you to?

7. A thank you goes a long way. Lets face it: women naturally have a bigger load to carry in terms of children, home and work. So just a simple thank you every now and again to let her know you appreciate everything she does…trust me, it’s a turn on. We cherish those moments. When is the last time you gave your wife deep appreciation for something she did?

8. One word: intimacy. Please do not confuse this with initiating sex. Intimacy is the breadth of your relationship. It’s creating that closeness with your spouse as Lamar & Ronnie explain in episode two of their eight part video series (WHAT?! You haven’t signed up yet?? Please click here before reading any further). If you think giving her a hug and kiss is emotional intimacy, then you need to sign up and watch these videos immediately. What does your wife like to do outside of the bedroom? Spend more time doing those things and she will probably spend more time wanting to do more things inside the bedroom. The first time you touch her for the day should not be when you’re trying to initiate sex. It usually just doesn’t work that way. When is the last time you were intimate with your wife?

9. Take your time. Unlike men, women need more time to get revved up before we get in the mood. It’s not enough for you to start grabbing boobs and butts. To reiterate from tip #8: Give longer hugs and kisses long before you get to the bedroom. When is the last time you gave your wife a back, neck or foot massage?

10. Be supportive. Whether its a career move she wants to make, a new business she wants to start or a book she wants to write, just offer her support and a listening ear. The last thing she needs to hear from you is how hard it’s going to be or why she shouldn’t do x, y or Z. Listen and ask her how you can support her. When is the last time you gave your wife some words of encouragement?

BMWK: Ladies, what would you add to this list?

About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.


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8 WordPress comments on “Pssst…Fellas: Wanna Know How to Really Turn Your Wife On?

  1. Lily

    I could not disagree more with several of these. But the quote that sums it up is, “Lets face it: women naturally have a bigger load to carry in terms of children, home and work” Seriously? You’ve got to be kidding, right? Studies show exactly the opposite. They also show that men who do domestic chores (not manly outside chores of mowing the lawn, changing the oil,etc.) get less sex than those who do…so no, if domestic means cooking dinner or doing the dishes, that doesn’t turn a wife on. Does that mean he should never do it? No of course not. There are times a wife needs help but it’s not the doing of the dishes…it’s the taking on more work and responsiblity on top of his already heavy workload and responsiblities that turns a wife on.

    1. Aaron

      I totally agree with this post. I go out of my way to give my wife love and respect and intimacy. When she gets home all she wants to do is sleep all day! Im a good looking brother, not in a conceded way but I keep myself together. She is beautiful! Love her to death. Only thing is our sex life has gone way down. Sex maybe 3 times a month…wth. I know when a mam complains everyone will see he is not doing right…but I am. I even ask her what turnss her on..she says she does not know. I clean the whole house everyday make good money. This post os far from the truth on what turns a woman on. Trying to make a man figure it out will only lead him to cheat.

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  6. Anonymous

    Ya, doing the dishes makes her appreciative, but has nothing to do with sex and that’s the truth. I do them all the time! I clean,cook, hug, love on top of my 2 part time jobs and full time school. But when it comes time for “in the bedroom” crap, all she wants to do is sleep.

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