The Road to Reproduction: A New Womb Mate

BY: - 12 Jun '13 | Parenting

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Every woman is taught that everything is fine with your pregnancy once you make it past the first trimester. My name is Donnie Smith and I’m a wife, High School English Teacher, scrapbooker and a stepmother. I’m also a dreamer, a planner and a recovering worry addict. My husband Che “Rhymefest” Smith is a grammy-award winning writer, hip hop artist and a community activist. He is also a dreamer, more of a mental planner (can’t really blame him! He freestyles and started out as a battle rapper) and he often has the antidote – a hug or a kind word for my worry. On paper we’re an unlikely pair, but once you see us together it all makes sense.

We decided in the summer of 2011 that we were ready to have our first child together. He was in California for work. He and I had just finished our goodnight call. It was about 3:00 a.m. and something inside told me to take a pregnancy test. After sluggishly walking into the bathroom and laying back in bed, I nonchalantly went to check on the test, after all, I had been told about a month prior that I wasn’t pregnant after about a week of morning sickness.

My Clear Blue Digital test disagreed with the nurse indicating yes I was “pregnant” and I started jumping up and down and frantically called Che.

My Clear Blue Digital test disagreed with the nurse indicating yes I was “pregnant” and I started jumping up and down and frantically called Che. He was delighted about the news. We eagerly started flinging baby names at each other. My husband asked how I was feeling and we began discussing how our lives would need to be adjusted to the fact that I was carrying life for the first time.

Within the first few months I seemed to have covered all of the basics. We picked the names – Biko – after the South African Revolutionary Steven Biko. Revolutionary names are a tradition in my husband’s family. We heard the heart beat. I cried. We recorded it. Che wanted to incorporate the heartbeat into one of his songs. My best friend came over to the house to discuss the details of the baby shower… venue… color swaps for table cloths… refreshments. Finally, we chose a date for the shower.

For me – information is the best way to get over fear and worry. So I devoured all of the pregnancy guidebooks. I took my pre-natal vitamins, showed up early to all of my monthly appointments and posted the news on my Facebook as I soon as I hit the 8 week mark. My job secured a maternity leave sub for me. I started showing pretty early so most of my closet was filled with maternity clothes.

No one or nothing could prepare me for the events that would occur on December 9, 2011 when my world fell apart…

Check back every other Wednesday for additional articles in this new series from Donnie Smith – “The Road to Reproduction” as she chronicles her journey to child birth. View previous articles here

About the author

Donnie Smith wrote 24 articles on this blog.

Donnie Nicole Smith is an adolescent education expert and lifestyle blogger. From her traumatic childhood to her triumphant womanhood – she shares pieces of her public marriage & relationship to grammy-award winning “raptivist” Che “Rhymefest” Smith and her private fertility challenges.


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11 WordPress comments on “The Road to Reproduction: A New Womb Mate

  1. Jennifer

    Wow, I am all to familiar with this. Lost two boys in my 3rd trimester. No heartbeat. I almost lost my mind. The Doctors said that I was unable to have anymore children because I had “antibodies” that rejected the fetus. Wel GOD said stick with me I got the last word. I gave birth to a 6lb 15oz babygirl named Janiah Lynn on 8/23/12 🙂

    1. Donnie Smith Post author

      Jennifer, congratulations on the birth of your rainbow baby Janiah Lynn and thank goodness faith was there to bridge the gap between what the doctors were telling you vs. what God was telling you. Thanks for sharing your encouraging story!

  2. nisha

    I agree it is rime we do break the silence. I too lost a baby my middle child a boy. I thought thata my life wasover but with prayer and determination I gave birth to a bbeautiful babygirl august of last year. So please hang in there do your reseach. You are your own advocate.

  3. nike

    I’m so sorry Donnie. I have a 22 yr old and 7/8 mc under my belt,some far more traumatic than others but mc none the less. I know what God can do. After my last mc in 2010 and several shortly after in 2011,I just asked God to not let me get pregnant again. The pain was to much for me and my daughter,who’d always wanted a sibling was devastated every time. God honored my wish and held my womb…until march 2012 when I took a test and confirmed I was pregnant. Again. Well I’m happy to let you know I know have a 22 yr old and an 8month old;-) my son Dodger Immanuel came into the world Oct 6,2012 happy and healthy. At 42 I thought it was to late,but God didn’t and if hell do it for me…=)

  4. Alice McLaughlin

    I do like the manner in which you have presented this specific matter plus it really does provide us a lot of fodder for thought. Nonetheless, because of everything that I have seen, I just hope when the actual reviews pile on that individuals stay on point and not get started upon a tirade of some other news of the day. Still, thank you for this superb point and whilst I can not necessarily agree with this in totality, I respect your viewpoint.

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How To Deal With an Angry Teenager

BY: - 12 Jun '13 | Parenting

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Dealing with your teenager’s anger could be one of the best things you can do for your family. Teens get angry for a number of reasons; from fear, feelings of injustice, insecurity, loneliness, overactive hormones, lack of sleep, peer bullying, a growing need for independence and just trying to make sense out of life.

Parents get angry when their teens behave in ways that aren’t appropriate or if they feel their children aren’t showing them proper respect.  If parents don’t understand that their teenager’s anger may be about something totally separate from them, they might go about lighting the fuse in the dynamite by reacting too harshly.  So, guess which party needs to “man up” and defuse the situation?

1) Be a Model. Many times in the heat of anger a person realizes they’re going too far, but they don’t know how to back off and cool down.  It’s an important ability for either party, but it is learned by the parent modeling it to their children.

Click here to read more tips for dealing with an angry teen. 

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