Increasing Intimacy in Your Marriage; Make Time for Some Good Love!

BY: - 15 Jul '13 | Marriage

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When I was in about the 6th grade my class put on, what I thought back then, was an awesome play. I can’t remember all of the details, but what I do remember was the song we all sang at the end, “What the world needs now is love”. It was the first time I had heard the lyrics, but I loved it from the very beginning. I find myself thinking of those lyrics almost every time I listen to or read the news. In fact, in my morning prayers I ask that God allows love to spread.

Times have changed, people are more depressed and stressed than ever before and we just seem to be missing LOVE. Love begins at home, if it’s missing there, we’re really in trouble. My calling is to assist couples in creating and maintaining a relationship they can get excited about. But it isn’t always easy with all that couples typically juggle everyday; especially when raising children.

As a result of that juggling act, marriage and romance sometime get placed on the back burner when we begin our families. Children add a new dimension to our relationships. They quickly become the priority as each partner puts their all into their parenting role. But even when we become parents, we can’t neglect the romance. Did you know the family structure becomes even stronger the more couples spend some alone time together? A happy mommy and daddy makes everyone else under that roof happy as well. Carve out some time to do a little of the following:

Date one another, creatively.

Date night is a must. Schedule them in advance as well as have them spontaneously. Movies, dinner, clubs for dancing, plays, comedy shows, couples retreats, another couples home just to chill, sporting events, concerts, parks and zoos are all great date ideas. Remember on occasion to think outside the box and do something a little different.

Make love with enthusiasm and do it frequently.

I know the children wear us out. Take a nap if you have to, but make sure to get some frequent loving. Getting adventurous adds a new level of excitement. Try outdoors, at the beach, in a tent in the backyard, or new places in your home.

Communicate with one another, passionately.

Asking your spouse what’s on his/her mind and sharing what’s on yours is good stuff and needs to happen. Make sure to listen attentively. Even physical communication is effective. Sitting in the same space, even if a word hasn’t been shared, is powerful.

Pay attention to your spouse.

Look for things that are new or any changes that have been made and compliment them. Study your spouse, no one should know them better than you.

Yes, we’re busy, but being loved and giving love feels great! It relieves the pressures and stress that come along with living in this world. Make room for it. Not only does it benefit your spouse, it benefits you as well. Do it for you! You deserve all the happiness your heart can hold

BMWK, how do you carve out time for love and romance?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 635 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit and


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Make Your Man Feel Good; 5 Ways to Show Appreciation to Your Husband

BY: - 16 Jul '13 | Marriage

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Being a wife is a special privilege. Every day you have the chance to make your husband feel like he’s special, valued and desired. Sometimes life can get in the way. Here are five things that you can start doing to make your man feel good…

1. Massaging his feet

Every two weeks you can find me with my feet in the pedicure bowl. My favorite part of the experience is the “foot rub.” Sometimes I even pay a little extra for a little more TLC. One day, I thought my husband deserved this same treat so while he was sitting on the couch, I removed his socks and went to work. Now, when he has a particularly long or stressful day or when I want him to feel special I massage his feet. He’d never had a foot massage before me and now he looks forward to it.

2. Complimenting him

Who doesn’t love compliments? Ladies, when we get a new hair color or a new pair of shoes, we love to hear someone say, “I love your….” When was that last time you complimented your man? He needs to know that you love the way he smells. He’d love to hear that you admire the way he handled that last work conflict. Seriously, make a point to compliment your man at least once a week.

3.Breaking the rules with him

Sometimes we wives like to play it safe. We get wrapped up into a routine and things can quickly become stale. The best way to “freshen up” your relationship is to do something out of the ordinary… break the rules. Go play outside in the rain… forget your hair for a minute… wrestle… Every couple has their “safe boundaries” so breaking the rules will look a little different for everyone, but go ahead and cross your line.

4.Showing your gratitude for the little things

He cuts the grass, he takes out the trash, he takes the cars in for a tune-up. My husband has to travel regularly for work and when I have to carry in the groceries, pump my own gas and pick up my step-son from school, I am quickly reminded of how important his presence is to my life. All of those little things add up and as much as possible I show my gratitude. Leave him little love notes around the house. Call his name and when he thinks that you’re going to ask him to do something say, “I just wanted to say thank you for…”

5.Supporting his wildest dreams.

Maybe your man has always wanted to ride a motorcycle? Purchase him some lessons. Perhaps he’s always wanted to start his own T-shirt line? Do some research and find some affordable screen printing businesses. Have a conversation with your hubby about what it is he’s always wanted to do, and do your best to help him make it happen!

BMWK Family: Ladies, what are some unique things you do for your husband to show your love & appreciation for him? Gentleman, what does your wife do to show you that you’re special?  

About the author

Donnie Smith wrote 24 articles on this blog.

Donnie Nicole Smith is an adolescent education expert and lifestyle blogger. From her traumatic childhood to her triumphant womanhood – she shares pieces of her public marriage & relationship to grammy-award winning “raptivist” Che “Rhymefest” Smith and her private fertility challenges.


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