My “Goods” are for My Husband; A Wife’s Opinion on Meagan Good’s Dress

BY: - 4 Jul '13 | Marriage

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Meagan Good dress

I wasn’t able to watch the BET Awards show when it aired due to travel, but my Facebook feed kept me informed with all the good, the bad, and the inappropriate. In particular, as I scrolled down the feed, I read the outrage over the low-cut, cleavage-baring dress Meagan Good, an actress and preacher’s wife, wore to present the Best Gospel Artist award.

A couple of days later I saw what all the hoopla was about.

My thoughts: Maybe one day in the distant, more mature future of her faith and marriage she’ll look back and say, “What was I thinking?”

It’s happened to all of us at some point in time, hasn’t it? We cringe from embarrassment of old pictures from our younger, carefree years. When someone would criticize us, we labeled them  judgmental hypocrites. Then, in defense of ourselves, we spouted a bunch of independent-following-my-heart jargon.

It’s life and a part of growing up. Right?

However, I do understand some of the critique of Mrs. Good’s apparel choice, but I characterize it more as a you live and learn moment. And actually, whatever agreement Meagan and her husband have come to about appropriate and inappropriate attire, well, that is between them. Their marriage will be made stronger or weaker because of it. I wish them well.

Reflecting on my own marriage, however, I remembered a time when I almost crossed the line. And there is a line.

Getting dressed one morning, my husband, a pastor, asked me if I needed a safety pin: “I have one on my nightstand if you need it.” That wasn’t really a question; it was more like a strong suggestion.

Looking in the mirror, again, I noticed the v-cut neckline on my dress revealing a little too much cleavage. Because my husband isn’t controlling or possessive of me, I know when he makes comments about my attire, it’s from the heart. In that moment, I had two choices:

1. Take his suggestion and pin the dress.

2. Change into a less revealing outfit.

As a happily married woman of the Christian faith, those were my only two choices. I did not have a choice to wear the dress as is. Even though I am a grown woman and probably purchased the dress with money I made from my 9 to 5, I’ve chosen to represent my faith and to honor my husband more than assert my stubborn independence.

I do believe as a wife I can be sexy and fashion forward, but as a mature woman of God, wife, and mother, there is a line. My daddy taught me about the line when he would make me change into more modest attire as a teenager. Now my husband reminds me of the line whenever I come close to it or when someone gives our daughter an outfit that makes her look like she is 21 instead of 7. In my life, there is a line that I don’t cross.

It’s not about being religious, traditional, or holier than thou. It’s about being responsible, purposeful, and mature. When I was a child (even a babe in marriage), I spoke like a child and acted like a child. Now that I am an adult, I put away childish things. My marriage of almost 18 years, my daughter, my life’s purpose and ministry, and my desire to please God mean more to me than the right to wear what I want.

If my husband ever crosses the line and tries to control my every move, then we will have a problem. Just as if I cross the line and show my “goods” to the world, he will have a problem with that, and rightfully so. My “goods” are for him and him alone. My husband doesn’t need to show them off in order to feel like he’s the man. And I don’t need to display them to assert my independence or prove a point. Did I have this mindset when I was a newlywed? Absolutely not. It’s taken decades of mistakes to learn how sacred my body is as a temple for God and as a gift to my husband.

So, for me, my goods are for my husband’s eyes only. If I am going to put anything on display, it will be how good God is. That’s what the world needs to see.

Click here to check out a quote where Meagan Good explains her position of the dress to one of her twitter followers

BMWK, is there a line in your marriage when it comes to attire? 

About the author

Dr. Michelle Johnson wrote 75 articles on this blog.

Dr. Michelle Johnson is the founder of Alabaster Woman Ministries, an online international women's ministry. She is a wife, mother, writer, speaker, teacher. Through her daily blog, online radio show, and video Bible studies, Dr. Michelle encourages women and married couples to make God the center of their lives.


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35 WordPress comments on “My “Goods” are for My Husband; A Wife’s Opinion on Meagan Good’s Dress

  1. Ilka

    Dr. Michelle I agree with you. God allows us to experience life. Sometimes our enjoyment of life take us over thr edge. I am reminded that we live in this world but are not of this world. I hope my choices reflect God’s light in me. Oopsies happen, however I have to be open to leading of the Holy Spirit and those He has placed in my life to protect me.

  2. Towmeah Eubanks

    I am married to a minister and I feel uncomfortable in some of the clothes I wear and they are not that revealing. I just wanna pleases God in Everything I do. I thank you for writing this article. We love her and want what God has willed for her. She will look back. I believe her convictions will soon set in…

  3. Tiya

    Great article Dr. Michelle. I agree, it really is about respect. Sometimes we feel if we have the body for it we should wear it, but it really is about being respectful of your spouse. If he said her choice of dress was good with him, then more power to her. But me personally, being a married woman this wouldn’t even be a choice I would present to my husband.

  4. jackgirl

    . firstly god say be holy for your heavenly father is holy. secondly ‘once a thief always a theif’. she grew up in the world and she is just doing what she is used to

    1. skeeinchrist

      @ jackgirl “…once a thief always a thief…” so what you’re saying is Jesus blood was wasted and has no redemptive power? If you are a Christian then you should very well know that spiritual maturity is a process… I’m eternally grateful that my righteousness is not based on my mistakes, but on the blood of Christ… How quickly we forget that we weren’t born saved and we are not perfect. Grace is God giving us what we don’t deserve and not giving us what we do! let he who is w/o sin cast the 1st stone…

  5. Marlene

    With all do respect, Megan Goode’s relationship with God is her business and very personal to her. Perhaps she doesn’t have a problem with the dress because from her perspective, neither does God. I would love for us of the Christian faith to worry less about what it looks like “over there” and concentrate more on “what it is” right here. If Megan determines her fashion choice was inappropriate, that would be her choice to make. If she doesn’t, that’s also her choice. My prayer is, she makes no choice about what she wears or how she presents herself based on what external opinions may feel. God bless her in her walk with God.

  6. Pingback: Pastor’s Wife On Meagan Good Dress | Elev8 | Health Advice, Inspiration & Gospel Music for Black America

  7. Nessa

    As a young kid in high school one of my classmates’ Mom kept her in church, dressed like little house on the prairie days. She was worried about DRESSING her girl in salvation, instead of making sure that it was in her heart. Do you know that this girl used to have sex with a boy on church property and was pregnant by the age of 15.

    What’s my point? Maybe it’s too much for you but this is between her, God, and her husband. I don’t remember Jesus going around preaching about what to wear to be on His followers. Just because it’s past YOUR personal ‘line’ doesn’t make her an unsaved Jezebel.Judging her because she sins differently from you is not from love, heck, some people would wear it too if they had that body! Ms. Michelle, all I’m saying is that it doesn’t make her irresponsible or immature, that is your version of what a virtuous woman is. As she stated, she is still growing! Do you remember all the things God has delivered and is still delivering you from? As long as her heart is truly open to God, then all who are truly so concerned about this should pray. But, God often uses people and methods that most disagree with! I wish you would have put up the picture of her husband gazing into her eyes, clearly, there was only love there, it didn’t seem like he felt disrespected! He knows who and what he married!

    1. Paul N

      God says that women should dress modestly. Dressing appropriately is a part of being a virtuous woman, if not surely she could have had her backside out also and still been virtuous to you? Unless you claim to have more wisdom than God, it should be obvious that you are terribly wrong. Don’t put this on a God, this is an unholy choice that this young lady made and what of her Husband?

      How did the church come to this, where we start making it seem like everything is ok and of God?

  8. ShebaBarb

    Regardless of what anyone says the dress Ms. Good had on is no way for a pastors wife to be dressed whether on BET, TEB, or ET plain and simple. When will the real Saints of God stand up and take a stand for righteousness. Perhaps her hubby was in agreement with this foolishness and if he was/is then perhaps he is not ready to pastor a church at this time. Wow! Their is a women who preaches/teaches gospel from the Strippers Pole and she bares her nipples. I say we might well get all of the strippers, whores, pimps, sluts and what-have you and have church without being delivered and set free. What a mess~

    1. Zaneta

      Contrary to popular belief, Megan Good’s husband, Devon Franklin, IS NOT A PASTOR! He does go to different churches and preach, BUT he does NOT have a congregation of church members. His main job is being an executive at Sony Entertainment. So she isn’t a “first lady” of a congregation.

  9. Ed

    I was neither offended or excited by her attire. She wore the dress with grace. She’s an adult. She had the body for it. She liked it. I’m not really a fan of hers, but it worked for her. It might be a different thing if she was had just made a statement about ladies needing to “cover up”, then wore it. If Tina Turner wore it, folks would be talking about how great she looks for her age. Apparently, her husband didn’t have a problem with it, & she won’t be kept from getting into heaven for wearing it. If it doesn’t bother the people close to her, why should anyone care?

  10. Sherrie

    The church is the bride of Christ and must represent God in such a way, it influences the world towards salvation and not sin. Church leader’s are to Lead by example in word, thought and deed. God tells us that if we are walking in the Spirit we will not fulfill the lust of our flesh. God also tells us that man looks on the outward appearance. What we wears matters to God and if we are walking in the Spirit it should matter to us. Lack of maturity in God as a church leader is a serious matter. God said He will judge us more severely. People of God, we have got to do better, the world is watching and looking for answers. We have the answer – JESUS but how can they know Him if we don’t show and tell. Be encougaged lives are at stake.

    1. Stephanieb

      I agree Sherrie, what we wear does matter, because it is a reflection of who we are, and many tend to forget that our bodies belong to God, and therefore we have to be careful what we do and how we present our bodies, as the Word says we have to present our bodies as acceptable to God, and does Meagan really think she’s doing that in this dress, it’s obvious that she’s not, and that’s not judging!! And considering her comment, it’s obvious that her “so-called” fruit is pretty rotten to me because she thinks that God is pleased with her wearing this mess. And I agree with other comments in that it does make you wonder about she and Devon’s relationship if he’s supposed to be a “minister.” What’s next, a pastor’s wife doing porno, oh, but I guess that’s fine because “we aren’t supposed to judge” right?? SMH!!

  11. EMonique

    It’s not about the DRESS at all… It’s about judging, gossiping, backbiting. Meagan did the same thing in her response. All she had to say was pray for me. Christians complained about Yolanda Adams too (Pastor) she has just recently started covering up. I think it’s because she’s older now. Amazing the things that go on in the Name of Jesus!

    1. Paul N

      Wrong. This is no secret. If you do something publicly you open yourself to scrutiny.
      Christians should speak out against Christians who walk inappropriately. This brings reproach against the name of Christ.

  12. Pingback: Pastor’s Wife’s Sounds Off Meagan Good Dress Controversy | The Yolanda Adams Morning Show

  13. Natalie b.

    I think all of this commentary over a grown woman’s dress is much ado about nothing. Did this couple not date, court and then marry all while abstaining? Does that not count for anything, or is the most important thing to look the part, whether you are sincere or not? I would listen to this young woman who presented an award in a risqué dress quicker than I would some woman dressed “churchy” but whose life bears no fruit of the teachings they claim they live by.

  14. Renee

    Excellent piece,love the pun. On numerous occasions when I do my mirror check I would find myself changing underwear for fear of vpl (visible panty lines), wearing a slip, even if my dress is lined, or pinning up a gap etc. It’s just a conviction, or my self-talk, as I ask myself if I want to convey a street walker image. I am in no way suggesting that this young lady looks like such, but I am accutely aware of how clothes can be perceived. As a Christian I realize my responsibility in this regard. As my grandmother would say, “Not because it’s in the store means that it’s for you.”

    Blessings in your marriage. I pray for a husband such as yours – not over powering, but one who exercises wisdom, with a firm, gentle spirit.

  15. Roberta

    Michelle that is really a noble thought and very put across as well. We dont understand our spouse’s point of view before really starting imitating those who are not really on the right path.

  16. proverbs31

    The way I see it is… Would she be comfortable meeting Jesus in that dress? Could she stand before a holy King wearing that dress? Would Jesus claim her as one of His own with her breasts exposed like that?

  17. Mrs. Jones

    It seems to me the women commenting in such a harsh manor and throwing insults towards this young, beautiful actress are jealous because they “don’t have the body” to pull off her dress. Personally it’s her “God given right” to wear what she wants and if “she and her husband” are fine with it, who are we to judge. Jealously is a sickness folks! I bet some of these same women complaining are the same ones who I see sit in the pews in church Sunday after Sunday staring at every “single or married” woman who comes through the doors- who happens to be attractive and have nice bodies- because their husbands are starring at them. I say this because it happens to me and as you can see by my screen name, I’m married and not looking for anyone. Therefore – Get a life and a gym membership so you want be so insecure about another woman’s body! Ooops – did I offend anyone- sometimes it’s just better to move away from the key board and just read without commenting 🙂

    1. proverbs31

      Mrs. Jones, as a believer & follower of Jesus, I will respectfully disagree with your comments. Yes, we have a choice of what we wear, but that does not make our choice the right choice. If we claim to be a Christian, that means we are to be Christ-like & set apart from the world. We should not look like the world. If we claim to know Jesus & respect Him & His word, then there are some things that we just shouldn’t do. As a 28 yr old woman of God, I want to be a Godly example for younger women, & I could not be that example if I wore a dress like that. It has nothing to do with being insecure, but everything to do with having the spirit of Christ in us. Mrs. Good is a beautiful & well-spoken woman, & she would still be beautiful with her breats covered. I wish more women would stand up for the truth, which is Jesus & His word. I respect anyone who isn’t a Christian, but if you claim to be one, it should be believable. The Bible says, “by their fruits, you will recognize them.”

      It makes me think of the spoken word piece, “Does Anybody Know That You’re a Christian” by a guy named Karness on Youtube. Check it out if you can, it’s a very real & inspiring piece.

      1. Mrs. Upshaw (Minister)

        Proverbs 31. That’s all an opinion! And you should keep that to yourself. Only those who feel disrespected are sharing their “Christian” opinions. People should not be judge by how they dress, but sadly they are. Ms. Goode is a respected actress, and are judged by many. It should be about her worth in this world and what kind of person is she, not about what she wears.

        1. camille

          We can justify anything of the world using these sad worldy principles. Yes, Jesus was compassionate to those “outside”, but the purpose was to offer salvation (change) to them, which is what he did. I think it is ridiculous that people who have standards, and Jesus has them, though now we have become so engrossed in the world that we don’t want to acknowledge it. I am a lovely size 4, and can wear anything I want, but as a Christian, I have to understand that it isn’t a half job. I need to live it (that is my connection with God and most important) but I need to look it (as a beakon to the world). If it mattered not to God how we presented ourselves to the world in HIS NAME nothing would be said of how we should dress in his Word. Seriously, adults,I would be a joke to call myself a virtuous woman but dress like a harlot. Offering wisdom is not always criticism or judgement. I would not consider myself necessarily a mature Christian but this is common sense. Yes, she looks beautiful in the dress, but that isn’t the point. We are supposed to have a spirit of discernment and are to use it to help our own. Sounds like someone should to read 1 Conrinthians 5:12.

          1. camille

            Everybody else was more covered than our (Christian) representation on the red carpet-as we are one body. She proclaimed she was Chrisitan, not me, and no one is condeming her, just offering some loving advice.



  19. kemmy

    Megan is beautiful and by all means has the right to wear what she wants and furthermore if given the thumbs up by her husband then who is to fight their decision. However, I’ve realised that we have started to shift christian principles to suit our modern day ideology of what we think God should accept. Now whether that should ne deemed as postive progression or whether we need to be more disciplined with the way we act as christians, the debate is on the floor. My point is that, you cannot be on both sides, either you personify a woman of God, which means honouring your God and also your husband in his ministerial position and dress more appropriately or you comtinue to wear dresses that expose your nipples (of recent) and continue to ignore your responsibilities as a Pastors wife and umdermind your christian faith. And as for her responsibilities, she signed on to them when she decided to have a relationship with that man under God, there must ne sacrifice is we truly want to live a christian life and Megan doesn’t seem to want to choose or lose.

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3 Keys to Surviving Infidelity in Marriage

BY: - 4 Jul '13 | Infidelity

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by Roselyn V. Aker- Black (Dr. Roz)

When most couples say l do, in that moment, it appears that they may really want to honor their vows to one another.  However the reality of what marriage really is emerges, and most couples are not prepared to deal with the struggles, the sacrifices, or the idea that their spouse is capable of committing the ultimate betrayal of infidelity! The structure of marriage is designed for two individuals to become dependent upon each other to meet each other’s needs. However, when infidelity is introduced into the marriage, the healing process requires a structure that is independent of each other in the beginning due to the feeling of loneliness and the anger of being betrayed. As a result, it may appear that a marriage is unable to survive such betrayal, but with hard work, introspection, and making changes in the relationship, an individual can obtain the marriage that is desired.

Commitment to Each Other

What must first be realized in the healing process is, if the marriage is worth fighting for as evidenced by the couple’s commitment to each other! The couple has to decide independently of each other whether the marriage is still a beneficial partnership. A common mistake that is made in most relationships is that love will conquer all and as long as two people love each other, the marriage will survive. There are lots of divorced couples that still love each other, but struggled in managing their marriage. Marriage requires more than just love! Commitment to each other is the glue that maintains a marriage.

Effective Communication

When infidelity takes place in most marriages, it is just the symptom of an underlying root cause that has manifested in the marriage. More often the inability to communicate effectively about needs and desires in a relationship is the true culprit of infidelity! Most people think that they are communicating with their spouse if they simply just say what is bothering them, however if their partner is not actively listening, comprehending, and understanding their partner’s needs, then the message has fallen on deaf ears. Often times, the couple may be more concerned about getting their point understood that they completely ignore the needs of the partner and frustration and resentment has now become a part of the marriage.

It is not that the person that the spouse chooses to cheat with ( better known as the home wrecker or jump off) is better than the current spouse, it is more so that the jump off strives to be more attentive to the spouse’s needs, as that is the only purpose that they may serve for the spouse! Their level of energy to meet the spouse’s need is attractive and manipulates the spouse into thinking that the grass may be greener with someone else, as opposed to their spouse.

As a result, it is important to learn how to communicate effectively to divorce proof the marriage. Actively listen to your spouse, try to understand the spouse’s needs, and work to meet those needs. It is always important to look at the role one plays in the infidelity betrayal. To clarify, a person’s choice to cheat is their own choice and they must own that, however it helps to introspect to see how one can function better in the marriage.

Be Open and Honest

It is possible to trust the cheating spouse again! However, the offending spouse has to be willing to be an open book and meet the requests of the offended spouse for as long as that individual needs it to heal. This may take years, but if the marriage is worth the fight, then this inconvenience of being completely open is worth the burden. If the offending spouse has made a commitment not to cheat again, then it should be no problem to allow the offended spouse all access to the personal belongings ( i.e. phone, email account, etc) to help restore security back in to the marriage. If the cheating spouse is not willing to be open with the spouse, it is a clear indication of the level of commitment to working on the marriage!

Not all is lost in trying to revive a marriage after infidelity, however assessing the level of commitment to the marriage, effective communication, and a willingness to be open and honest are necessary requirements to getting the marriage back on track. Moreover, one must be willing to heal from the betrayal and actively forgive their spouse by doing the necessary work of figuring out what the underlying root causes are and making the changes needed. While infidelity is the ultimate betrayal, it can also be the catalyst that a relationship needs to function in a more appropriate manner and for the couple to obtain the relationship that they both deserve.

BMWK – Do you believe that infidelity is a deal breaker…period? If your spouse was truly willing to change and turn things around (i.e – put in the work as described in this article) would you consider staying in the marriage?

Roselyn V. Aker- Black, Psy.D (affectionately known as Dr. Roz) is a native of Rome, Georgia and currently resides in the Washington, DC metro area. Dr. Roz received a B.A. in psychology from Fisk University and completed a doctoral degree in clinical psychology at Argosy University in Washington. She is the co founder of a website dedicated to saving families, one marriage at a time!

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