11 Things You Should Do Before You Have Kids

BY: - 16 Aug '13 | Marriage

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As I begin to navigate this thing called parenthood, I am finding that there definitely are some things I should have done before the kids came along.  As wonderful as it is to raise children, it comes with its challenges and it honestly changes so much.  Once I had children, my priorities changed, my perspective changed and a number of my expectations changed.  And, although change is good, it also has this way of making you reflect on the steps you took to get to where you are.

I am so grateful for the life I’ve created with my husband.  It makes my heart smile.  But, if I could go back in time, there are definitely a few things I would have done before we had children.  Sure, some of these things can still happen today, but I think they could have happened without a lot more ease before my kids made their appearance.  Here are a few things I wish did before having kids. Let me know if you can relate?

Start my own business.

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I am doing this now, but once you add kids to the mix, functioning off of 4 hours of sleep becomes increasingly difficult. I still have that “hustler’s spirit” but I’ll tell you – this hustler is crazy tired.


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  • http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com Lolo

    I loved this article. Not only has it affirmed the things I’m doing right (travel, read, lose weight), but also the issues that really hit a nerve.
    My mother and I have some serious issues that should I deal with before I have kids. I’m in my 30’s but I don’t think she really understands that I am grown, so it has resulted with me avoiding calls at times or keeping conversations brief to avoid getting angry.
    The very few times I’ve tried talking about our issues she tells me that I think the worst of her or I’m ungrateful…(sobs on both side). Its tough

    • http://www.justdivadaily.com Martine

      Your comment definitely resonates with me because my mom and I have worked through a lot and we are still a work in progress. I am glad you enjoyed the article. I wish you the best with working things out with your mom. I hope you are able to start down that path now because from my experience it takes time.

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    Great article. I think ive done a bunch of these. Baby making time lol.

    • http://www.justdivadaily.com Martine

      Thanks for reading. Have fun baby-making!!!

  • http://www.captureamansheart.com Tameca Brown

    I completely understand. i feel the same way. It just isn’t easy when you have children. I have done some of that just wish I had done a lot more.

    • http://www.justdivadaily.com Martine

      Exactly! But I plan to try my best and still squeeze some of this stuff in even with the kids. Harder but by no means is it impossible. Good luck!

  • Erica Corbin

    Great article but I have one more should-do- PAY OFF or PAY DOWN DEBT!

    • http://www.justdivadaily.com Martine

      You are right about that!!!!! That is a great add on for sure. Thanks for reading.

  • Breastmilkmusings

    I always tell people to live alone before marriage and kids. You can move your family Abroad for a year. I’d do it for 6 months. It will not take away from their lives but enhance it. You can still travel solo. I Ditched my family on Thanksgiving and went to Paris.

  • Gabrielle

    Loved your article funny things is I do everything opposite of the article lol. I travel as much with my three years old son (I’m a single mother) we have been to Europe America and in the near future we will do Africa the West Indies and Asia. I decided to live abroad (I’m from Paris France and I now live in miami Florida getting my doctorate ) it’s only me and him here. I am planning to do my dissertation in africa and of course bring my son along. After i get my doctorate sky is the limit as to where i will be living lolhad that boom I was unable to finish for years and since he growing up and I want him to get the right example I find myself reading wayyyyy more than before at night I sit near his bed read him a story then pick up my own book and he read his book and was finally able to finish my book lol.
    I wish I could have get into a better shape before but now I’m getting in shape with him best coach ever he even does interval training without knowing it thinking its a game. Ahahahah he tells me to run then walk then run with him then walk lol. I definitely spend week ends with my girlfriends take the car and drive 500miles with the kiddo to go see my girls who live outside of town. Lol I also splurge myself to spas shopping and nice restaurant and I sometimes take my son especially to nice restaurant by the time he is grown he will probably be a good connoisseur lol. I know I’m an exception and funnily I think I will be more limited to do those things by my husbands than by my kid I don’t know why but I have this feeling ???? but right now my baby and me we enjoying life

  • http://flyfitnfab.com J. Hines

    Great article, Martine. I know of couples on both sides of the spectrum – those who waited to have children and those who started their families right away. Although I think each approach has its merits, in my opinion taking some time to get to know yourself and your spouse is a a great choice, if you have the option. I would echo the tips you gave on starting your own business and traveling. Also, I agree on the paying down debt suggestion too – bringing children into the world debt-free is a great feeling!

  • Nikki

    I am a 26 year old single mom, and I wish I would have traveled more and read more. Traveling is one of my favorite things to do. Do be able to enjoy my vacations without having the random thoughts of “is my baby okay?” “Let me call and check on my little one” and half way worrying during my vacations kind of keeps me from actually ENJOYING my vacations lol. Also, So many different bookes I have piled up. I’ve only finished 1 or 2 books completely since having my son who is almost 4. There are also a few things that I need to work out with my mom, because it’s like she not only wants to run my life and be in my business about everything, but with what I have going on with my son as well. Makes me not even want to answer her calls at times. Of course I love my mom, I Only have 1 parent left, so I try to just remain quiet to keep drama at bay.