Singles: 5 Things That Separate A Potential Spouse From A “Dateable”

BY: - 12 Aug '13 | Single

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I just love the Happily Ever After FB Fan Page. The comments are always thoughtful and lead to a great dialogue. A recent comment inspired me to write this piece.  One of the readers, Tammy, talked about the confidence of a wife featured in one of our couple’s spotlight. She stated that the presence or absence of confidence is exactly what separates a potential spouse from someone who is just a “dateable.”  Now I haven’t heard many use the term “dateable” to describe a single person, so I thought that line alone was worthy of exploring further.

With so many in a search to find that perfect mate, it’s important to discuss the signs, the do’s and don’ts and what helps a person standout as a potential spouse. Thus the following list was created. For all my beautiful singles, the things that separate a spouse from a dateable are listed below:

BE CONFIDENT!

Confidence definitely resides at the top of any list discussing how to attract a potential mate. Other people are drawn to the way we carry ourselves. When you feel good about who you are and what you bring, they see you.

GIVE A LITTLE!

What you’re willing to do definitely sets you apart. The relationships that don’t stand the test of time are usually those where either one or both partners are, simply put, SELFISH. People don’t want to build long-term relationships with someone who only thinks about their own needs and desires. We have to be willing to give, share and think of that other person often.!

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About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 564 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.

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5 Mistakes Women Make With Dating

BY: - 14 Aug '13 | Single

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From so many women I hear phrases such as, “Why can’t I find a good man”, “All men are dogs”, “Why does dating have to be so difficult?”. I’m going to leave the first two quotes alone for now but let’s answer the last one. Dating is a mess because sometimes YOU make it that way. I’m not saying that the other party involved doesn’t play their part in all of this. It’s just that I see so many women constantly set themselves up for failure but they only want to focus on the mistakes/bad intentions of that man. If you truly want to solve the problem then taking that approach isn’t going to help you.

BMWK – There are many things to consider but let’s start with these five.  Check them out and then let us know if you agree, or if you can relate to any of them.  

Read the followup to this post: 5 Mistakes Men Make With Dating

1. Expecting him to chase you

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I always hear women say "if a man wants you, nothing can keep him away" this isn't entirely true but I get it. What women who are dating fail to realize is, he doesn't truly know you yet. He knows he is attracted to you and that you have caught his interest. He is willing to explore the possibilities but he has yet to determine if he truly "wants you". So expecting him to jump through hoops isn't helping the process. Making things difficult on purpose to test him is unnecessary. Some good men don't have time for all of that and will quickly drop you from relationship potential. I'm in no way saying that a woman should chase a man, but I am saying that expecting him to run after you while you put little to no effort is typically a setup for failure.

About the author

Stephan Labossiere wrote 52 articles on this blog.

Stephan Labossiere is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author of the #1 Best Seller "God Where Is My Boaz" as well as the Award Winning book "How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You...If You're Her Husband". Stephan is on a mission to help men and women experience happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. He is a highly sought after coach and speaker who has been seen, heard and chronicled in various national and international media outlets. You can also checkout Stephan on Youtube.

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