The Road to Reproduction: For the First Time, I Felt Empowered

BY: - 21 Aug '13 | Parenting

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Note: Read the last article in this series here:

Che was able to postpone his work trip for a month so that he could be home while I recovered. I was incredibly grateful that he could be there. He would be the person to drop me off on the day of surgery and pick me up when I returned home. Dr. Haney does over 100 of these surgeries (pre-pregnancy TAC) a year, so I wasn’t at all worried about the procedure. Though the surgery only lasted about an hour, I had to stay overnight to be monitored.

I checked in at 6 am on the morning of April 29th. A tall man with full scrubs including a hat covering his head came in. He talked about what was going to happen and told me he was the anesthesiologist. I opened my eyes and immediately realized that the surgery had happened and was a success. It was approximately 2 pm in the afternoon and I was starving. I coughed and there was a burning sensation that felt like lightening in my pelvis. If you’ve ever had a bad case of acid reflux, it felt like that, but it was only in my belly.

I couldn’t eat until later that evening, but was incredibly hungry because I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything the night before or the morning of surgery. Everything on the made to order menu looked tasty. My husband stopped by that evening to greet me. He made jokes about how whenever our future child would act up, he had this speech prepared. “Do you know what your mother had to go through to get you here?” It was painful to laugh and I fussed at him. I told him that he couldn’t stay too much longer because he wouldn’t stop making me laugh and I was in so much pain.

At that moment I felt reassured. I felt so helpless and out of control when we lost our first baby. For the first time I felt empowered.

Dr. Haney came in and we started talking about how soon we could start trying. He said as soon as I felt better, which would take 7 – 10 days. At that moment I felt reassured. I felt so helpless and out of control when we lost our first baby. For the first time I felt empowered. I kept imagining the little band as a mini version of the Hoover Dam around my womb – keeping the amniotic fluid and the baby safe inside of my body. It made me smile. It made me feel protected. Most of all, it made me feel grateful for modern medicine and for the doctor who had just performed a miracle. I knew then that whenever the time came, my chances were extremely high (94%) for carrying my baby to full term and with family spread out all over the country, and a demanding work and traveling schedule, I would actually be able to schedule my cesarean… I left that hospital on April 30th READY to make a baby!!!

Check back every other Wednesday for additional articles in this new series from Donnie Smith – “The Road to Reproduction“ as she chronicles her journey to child birth. View previous articles here.

About the author

Donnie Smith wrote 24 articles on this blog.

Donnie Nicole Smith is an adolescent education expert and lifestyle blogger. From her traumatic childhood to her triumphant womanhood – she shares pieces of her public marriage & relationship to grammy-award winning “raptivist” Che “Rhymefest” Smith and her private fertility challenges.


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4 WordPress comments on “The Road to Reproduction: For the First Time, I Felt Empowered

  1. Shemekia

    Blessings to you. I too have a TAC and know the feelings you describe. Thanks for putting this information out to the world, my prayer is that more doctors disregard the wait and see approach allowing babies to die unnecessarily and start offering the TAC more. There are several FB groups of woman that understand where you are and offer support. Reach out to me if you’d like

  2. Living by faith

    May God bless you. We lost our first child Jan.2 of this year. What a way to start of the new year right. I understand that there is a reason for everything. Our faith is strong in God and we know he is in control. He made us a promise and because of that promise we can stand strong and know our child is coming no matter what the doctor says. Be encouraged. Your blessing will come be patient and trust Gods perfect timing.

  3. Pingback: Using Castor Oil To Induce Labour - The Good Mother Project

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Back to School Tips: 7 Steps to for a Successful School Year

BY: - 22 Aug '13 | Parenting

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Let’s face it. Going back to school after summer vacation is hard. It sometimes takes a while to get out of the slump and into the “groove” of school. While everyone’s excited about new clothes, backpacks and school supplies, let’s have the same excitement about the school year and all that goes along with it. Here are 7 simple steps for a successful school year.

If you can’t remember everything I share with you, try to remember the mnemonic, S-U-C-C-E-S-S

S is for setting goals. What are we striving for this year? All A’s? A-B Honor Roll? We have to be first be honest about our children and their capabilities, strengths and weaknesses. At the beginning of every year year, let’s strive to set realistic and attainable goals for our children. Tell them: “Setting the goal means you’re halfway there!”

U is for united. Let’s make sure that it’s understood that as parents you are a united front when it comes to your child’s education. You need to also make sure your child understands that you are working with the teachers and bridging the gap from school to home.

C is for consistency. Children thrive on routine and familiarity. If their day is planned out from wake up to bedtime and all steps in between (like snack time and study time), it provides them with a sense of comfort and great habits should begin to form.

C is for caring. Sounds simple doesn’t it? We’re parents, so we care. But showing that we are interested in our children is of utmost importance. Let’s give them our undivided attention (TV OFF! Phone down!) when we talk them about their day and about their studies. If we’re not interested, why should they be?

E is for expectations. Our young scholars are at their best when clear academic and behavioral expectations are communicated and understood. As parents, we also need to be aware of what the teachers’ expectations are of our children as well. Open dialogue with the educators is vital!

S is for sleep. We all know that children need an adequate amount of sleep, but did you know that children’s sleep requirements vary by age? Three to six year olds need 10-12 hours of sleep. Seven to Twelve year olds need 10-11 hours and children Twelve to Eighteen years old need 8-9 hours. Lack of sleep limits your ability to listen, learn, concentrate and solve problems. So, set those bedtimes and stick to them!

S is for support. Parents, let’s always take an active and SUPPORTIVE role in our children’s education. We should encourage them the ENTIRE school year and take our role as supporter very seriously. Although our main duty is to provide them with their basic human needs (shelter, clothing and food), it’s extremely important for them to know that when/if they happen to fall, we’ll be there to catch them!

Here’s to a great school year and the success of our youth!

BMWK – Do you haven any pointers for a successful school year?

About the author

Sheree Adams wrote 117 articles on this blog.

Sheree is a wife and WAHM of three who passionately blogs about marriage, family, health tips and more as Smart & Sassy Mom. Sheree is committed to helping blended families and keeping marriages strong, healthy, fun and SPICY!


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