The Road to Reproduction: For the First Time, I Felt Empowered

BY: - 21 Aug '13 | Parenting

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Note: Read the last article in this series here:

Che was able to postpone his work trip for a month so that he could be home while I recovered. I was incredibly grateful that he could be there. He would be the person to drop me off on the day of surgery and pick me up when I returned home. Dr. Haney does over 100 of these surgeries (pre-pregnancy TAC) a year, so I wasn’t at all worried about the procedure. Though the surgery only lasted about an hour, I had to stay overnight to be monitored.

I checked in at 6 am on the morning of April 29th. A tall man with full scrubs including a hat covering his head came in. He talked about what was going to happen and told me he was the anesthesiologist. I opened my eyes and immediately realized that the surgery had happened and was a success. It was approximately 2 pm in the afternoon and I was starving. I coughed and there was a burning sensation that felt like lightening in my pelvis. If you’ve ever had a bad case of acid reflux, it felt like that, but it was only in my belly.

I couldn’t eat until later that evening, but was incredibly hungry because I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything the night before or the morning of surgery. Everything on the made to order menu looked tasty. My husband stopped by that evening to greet me. He made jokes about how whenever our future child would act up, he had this speech prepared. “Do you know what your mother had to go through to get you here?” It was painful to laugh and I fussed at him. I told him that he couldn’t stay too much longer because he wouldn’t stop making me laugh and I was in so much pain.

At that moment I felt reassured. I felt so helpless and out of control when we lost our first baby. For the first time I felt empowered.

Dr. Haney came in and we started talking about how soon we could start trying. He said as soon as I felt better, which would take 7 – 10 days. At that moment I felt reassured. I felt so helpless and out of control when we lost our first baby. For the first time I felt empowered. I kept imagining the little band as a mini version of the Hoover Dam around my womb – keeping the amniotic fluid and the baby safe inside of my body. It made me smile. It made me feel protected. Most of all, it made me feel grateful for modern medicine and for the doctor who had just performed a miracle. I knew then that whenever the time came, my chances were extremely high (94%) for carrying my baby to full term and with family spread out all over the country, and a demanding work and traveling schedule, I would actually be able to schedule my cesarean… I left that hospital on April 30th READY to make a baby!!!

Check back every other Wednesday for additional articles in this new series from Donnie Smith – “The Road to Reproduction“ as she chronicles her journey to child birth. View previous articles here.


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  • Shemekia

    Blessings to you. I too have a TAC and know the feelings you describe. Thanks for putting this information out to the world, my prayer is that more doctors disregard the wait and see approach allowing babies to die unnecessarily and start offering the TAC more. There are several FB groups of woman that understand where you are and offer support. Reach out to me if you’d like

  • Living by faith

    May God bless you. We lost our first child Jan.2 of this year. What a way to start of the new year right. I understand that there is a reason for everything. Our faith is strong in God and we know he is in control. He made us a promise and because of that promise we can stand strong and know our child is coming no matter what the doctor says. Be encouraged. Your blessing will come be patient and trust Gods perfect timing.

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