Why He Should Stop Grabbing His Wife’s Booty…or Should He?

BY: - 14 Aug '13 | Marriage

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One of the first principles I really “grasped” early in our marriage was the fact that my body was my wife’s, and more importantly her body was mine.  And I learned that in church, so that made it even better!

For those non-church goers, here is what the bible says,

“The wife’s body does not belong only to her. It also belongs to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong only to him. It also belongs to his wife.” – 1 Corinthians 7:4

To a 26-year-old man this was a true revelation!  To me and my buddies that meant once you got married, you had “access” 24/7!  Marriage was going to be the BOMB!  But I am not so sure my wife embraced it the same as I did.

Marriage 101

I felt like, I see the booty, I like the booty, I grab the booty.  I like the way it feels, and she likes the way it felt.  It was all good.  She didn’t always feel like that.

I slowly began to learn a valuable marriage lesson:

I see the booty, I like the booty, I grab the booty. #MarriedBooty [Click to Tweet]

What you like doesn’t always translate into what your spouse likes.

If she was in the mood, then the good feeling may be mutual.  But if she had one of those days, or things weren’t the best between us, that grabbing may get on her nerves!

I learned my lesson

When we were young in our marriage that could have caused some major drama.  But overtime I learned what she liked, and didn’t like.  And more importantly I learned when she liked it, and when she didn’t like it.

Fellas, you know that your wife may like something one minute, and then not like it the next, right?  If not, you’ll learn.

So, now when I see the booty, I like the booty, and I want to grab the booty, I may put my hand on the small of her back.  This may lead to my hand naturally moving to where I want it, in a way she likes it.

How do other couples view booty grabbing in marriage?

After talking with my wife about this, and learning that my booty grabbing is not as detestable as it used to be (I guess I learned my lesson).  I decided to see how other couples viewed it in marriage.

Is it acceptable?  Does it get on the wife’s nerves?  Or do they love it and can’t get enough?

Check out some of the reactions I got from my Facebook Page:

“My hubby does that … gets on my nerves lol”

“Acceptable and a turn on”

“I do my wife and she does me…love it.”

“Acceptable turn on and likely to be returned lol”

So, grabbing his wife’s booty may not be such a bad thing.  Shoot, from the comments if he is not grabbing her booty, she may be like “what’s up???”  As for me, I learned my lesson.  I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing. 😉

BMWK – Is grabbing your spouse’s booty a good, or bad thing?

About the author

Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. wrote 62 articles on this blog.

Jackie is an author, blogger, and speaker who helps men better love their wives and lead their families. He is the creator of The 7 Rings of Marriage™. You can receive his latest BMWK posts in your inbox, plus his latest marriage and parenting posts from around the web by subscribing to his weekly newsletter!


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11 WordPress comments on “Why He Should Stop Grabbing His Wife’s Booty…or Should He?

  1. Luv it!

    I feel an old church song parody coming on:
    “Reach out and touch the booty, as it goes by.
    You’ll find it’s not to busy, to feel your hand brush by.
    It is passing by this moment, your feel to supply.
    Reach out and touch the booty, as it goes by.”

    The booty feel and slapping is mutual in our home…. let her know you’re into her and let him know you’re into him… keep the love and attraction flowing freely. My wife struggled with it for a long time until she got onboard. ..something about loving her just for her body…until I stopped…. boy did the complaints start to roll out especially after she had a baby. :-)…FEEL AND SLAP THE BOOTY YA’LL!! or someone else will

  2. Anonymous

    My husband is constantly grabbing my booty – I mean ALL THE TIME! It does get on my nerves sometimes, because who wants to be pawed every moment of the day? But I love my husband and I love the fact that he is so into me…so I just go with it. It’s better than being ingnored by my man!

  3. Keiana

    Well – my guy is a grabber, and a smacker. I’m not always receptive, because like most women, my mood will determine what i’m “in the mood” for. But I do enjoy it when the time is right. As for him, he acts like I’m some thieving, mugging, stalking, “ill-to-do stranger” whenever I try to get some grab-action. He has literally hit me due to his “reflexes” when I tried. 🙁

  4. Antonio Maurice Daniels

    Married men have to be very careful not to objectify their wives’ bodies. Even though the man has “access” to his wife’s body, he must make sure that she is willing to grant him “access.” We have to understand that “access” does not mean ownership. We also have to learn what our women desire, including if they really like their booty being grabbed regularly or not. If one’s wife has had a stressful day or is not in a good mood, it’s probably not a good day to grab her booty. This is an issue where communication with one’s wife is key to learning how she feels about grabbing her booty. I would recommend a frank and open discourse with one’s wife about this issue.

  5. Garrick

    After 21 years of marriage and 3 childbirths later my wife’s booty has evolved into what I feel is her best asset. She knows this and regularly puts it on display for my enjoyment, however I’m also aware that she won’t be as receptive 24 hours out of the day of a grab our a nice playful pat. I’m very touchy and feely and love my wife’s body this makes her feel good inside because she knows that she still has what it takes to keep my attention.

  6. k(Black)

    Figured if it was ok for the President to do it why couldn’t I?!..lol I was/am a bottom slapper. But the wife wasn’t cool with me doing it in public. So once we walk out the front door it’s a no-no. Once we’re inside it’s “Game On”! 🙂

  7. yolanda w

    Hello my husband and I have been together for almost 10 years and I must admit that I have not always had a back side. After a few years my backside evolved into something wonderful. …lol and my husband can’t seen to keep his hands of of it. He lives it and everyone I walk past him he always seem to get erect, being very serious and sometimes while the kids are around but he corrects himself pretty fast. But I must say that sometimes more than others I have a problem with it especially or in publicbut home he Iis free to do as he please and not lumuted to my backside, he grands everything and feels the need to taste, grab, squeeze, and caresses, he does it all and I love him still.

  8. cherie

    I agree, I love it, enjoy it when we are home or on a special getaway. I don’t always like it in public breastfeed it gives purges the impression that I’m for higher, and he had start fighting other men…. so totally honest. also love it doing the whoopie.

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Ever Thought About Rewarding Your Spouse’s Mistakes Instead?

BY: - 15 Aug '13 | Marriage

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I can only imagine the initial reactions to the title above. A few of you were probably thinking “oh hell no”, while others may have questioned “now why would I do something like that”? But believe me, it makes all the difference in how couples handle stressful situations and move forward.

The last thing we want to happen, when we’ve made a mistake, is to be constantly reminded of it or for our mate to harass us even further. We normally feel awful enough without the added pressure from the other person. We’re human so errors are bound to be made. But forgiveness and, believe it or not, the reward of comfort goes a long way. It’s easy to fuss, yell, point out the error and belittle our partner for making it. But the challenge is when we have an understanding of their embarrassment and look for ways to be supportive.

Now, I’m not speaking of those marriage-altering mistakes, like infidelity or cleaning out the family’s life savings. Those are different situations that require a more serious approach. I’m addressing those errors, that still have somewhat of an impact, but we do survive as a couple.

Last week, I experienced one of those moments. While driving with my oldest daughter in the car and not paying enough attention to the road, I looked away for a minute and slammed right into the car in front of me. Anyone who’s been in an accident knows the thoughts that run through your head. You beat yourself up, you play all the other scenarios that could have occurred in your mind and you just feel the shame of being so careless. Well, that’s exactly what I felt. Adding to that, what my husband was going to say about my lack of focus while driving with our child in the car and what the car actually looked like afterward.  All the way home, I kept picturing his face and thinking of his disappointment.

But to my surprise, he didn’t do or say any of what I thought. He could have fussed, snapped, questioned my judgment, or just been downright pissed. Instead, he held me in his arms. He asked if we were hurt, I said no, and he said okay then. I found this was exactly what I needed. Without him ever having to say it, I learned from this incident to be more careful, keep my eyes on the road and to pay closer attention. If he had of said that, I don’t know how receptive I would have been. But what he did in that moment, reminded me of all of that.

Now I don’t just take this position because I crashed the car. There’s something about love, and our motives and intentions when dealing with those we care the most about. I remember a mistake my husband made some years ago. And although we were both disappointed and frustrated, I knew it would be of no benefit to either of us for me to harp on it and point out his flaws in this situation. So I just rode it out; I didn’t bring it up, nor did I blame him. I am sure he felt responsible enough, where my adding to it would have done more harm than good. After we made it through that challenge, my husband thanked me for how I handled it. It made him feel good and did the same for me.

I’m not suggesting we enable our spouses, or give them an easy out for their errors. But I am challenging us to be more patient and loving during these moments. Whenever we communicate with our partners, we should also consider the outcome we desire. In the case of a lack of proper judgment, maybe we want our spouse to never make this mistake again. How that happens will be determined by how we support and encourage our mates with loving thoughts and words.

BMWK – Have you tried loving and encouraging your spouse through their mistakes?  Does this approach work for you?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 635 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.


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