Why Is Forgiving So Hard? 8 Things You Need to Know about Forgiveness

BY: - 13 Aug '13 | Home

Share this article!

TNMCoupleArgueConsole

A few weeks back, we wrote a post about how difficult it is for people to say “I’m sorry” when they wronged their spouse or a person they are in a relationship with. But granting forgiveness can be just as difficult. How can you grant someone forgiveness when you are still soooo angry and hurt, when you want revenge, when you don’t want to be perceived as weak, and when you are afraid it will happen again? But when you hold on to that pain and anger, the only person it’s hurting is you. You can’t move on to healing. I recently heard author and speaker Dr. Scott  Haltzman talk about “Apology and Forgiveness,” and he told us several things about forgiveness that could help couples move towards  healing in their relationships:

Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude. – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

Forgiveness is a Choice

You can’t force a person to forgive you. Just because you are in a relationship with a person, they don’t owe you forgiveness. The choice to forgive is solely up to the person that is granting it.

Once you forgive, then it is a choice that you will have to make daily as you move toward healing. Quote by  Martin Luther King Jr.

Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. –  Wm. Paul Young

Forgiveness does not Rebuild Trust

Forgiveness does not rebuild trust. It opens the door to the possibility of rebuilding trust. In our movie, Still Standing, Speech Thomas (the front man for the Grammy Award-winning group Arrested Development) shares with us that it took time to rebuild trust with his wife after he confessed to infidelity in their marriage. He said rebuilding that trust was like rebuilding a home. He destroyed the foundation and he had to rebuild it brick by brick. Check out what Speech has to say here in the trailer. Quote by Wm. Paul Young.

To read the remaining tips on why forgiveness is so important, read: Hurting and Can’t Move On? 8 Things You Need to Know About Forgiveness

About the author

Ronnie Tyler wrote 478 articles on this blog.

Ronnie Tyler is the co-creator of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com and co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing. The proud mom of 4 has been selected by Parenting Magazine as a Must-Read Mom and is one of Babble's Top 100 Mom Bloggers.

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress

Leave a Reply

Get
All Articles Delivered To Your Inbox Daily! Sign up below!

Tennessee Judge Orders Mother to Change Baby’s Name from Messiah

BY: - 13 Aug '13 | Home

Share this article!

Jaleesa Martin was ordered to change her 7-month-old baby boy's name from Messiah to Martin. Reported by WBIR-TV

In Newport, Tennessee, Jaleesa Martin was ordered to change her 7-month-old baby boy’s name from Messiah to Martin. Child Support Magistrate Lu Ann Ballew ordered the name change, stating only one person deserved that name, “and that one person is Jesus Christ.”

Baby Messiah’s parents were in court because they could not agree on his last name. Instead of just changing the last name, Judge Ballew ordered the baby’s name to be changed to Martin DeShawn McCullough, which was an inclusion of both parents’ last names.

Martin is appealing the judge’s decision to change her son’s first name. She told WBIR-TV, “I was shocked. I never intended on naming my son Messiah because it means God and I didn’t think a judge could make me change my baby’s name because of her religious beliefs. Everybody believes what they want so I think I should be able to name my child what I want to name him, not someone else.”

Judge Ballew gave her opinion about the name, stating, “It could put him at odds with a lot of people and at this point he has had no choice in what his name is.”

Martin has two older children named Micah and Mason, and thought the name Messiah, which was 4th in fastest-rising baby names on the Social Security Administration’s 2012 list of popular baby names. Her appeal hearing will be on September 17th.

Check out the video of the interview with Jaleesa Martin below.

BMWK – Let us know your thoughts. Was the judge out of line?  Or, do you agree with her reasoning about the name possibly being an issue for the child at some point?

 

About the author

Briana Ford wrote 143 articles on this blog.

Briana is a writer, influencer, and Shero who's California bred and Texas fed. When she's not explaining the world of blogging and social media to entrepreneurs and small business owners, you can find her sharing memes, gifs, and her life lessons on her blog.

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress