Blended Families Week: Stepdads are Great Too!

BY: - 20 Sep '13 | Blended Families

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My parents met when they were both in the Air Force. They married when I was four and my older sister was seven. Looking at the wedding pictures, I remember being there, but for the longest time, I thought my dad was mine biologically. It wasn’t until I was older that I was told he was not. You see my dad adopted me and my sister after he married my mom, so I didn’t get a chance to experience a step-dad, just a dad.

I don’t remember being treated differently when my younger sister was born two years later. I was just happy to have her. We had a great family life; we traveled because their jobs moved us every three to four years. We ate dinner together, played games together, enjoyed each other. My dad even escorted me to my father-daughter dance when I was in Brownies. My dad was a hero to me because to me he knew how to do everything, fix everything and even showed me how to ride my bike. He was just Daddy, never my step-dad.

When my parents divorced some years later, I was devastated. I just knew I would never see him again, even though they both assured me I would. Of course I did see him, even though we never lived in the same state due to where the Air Force assigned them. Now that I am forty, nothing has changed with my dad. I can call him whenever I need anything, and he calls just to check in. He has re-married but never had any more kids. Just like the family of Christ, I have all the rights and privileges of a natural born child because I was adopted into his family. That is an awesome feeling.

I have heard people say that women eventually marry men like their fathers. In my case this is true. Some of my husband’s mannerisms mimic my dad’s. My husband also took on the role of raising a child not biologically his. So he too was a father before he became a daddy. You can read our adventures of a blended family in my article How My Husband Became a Father to My Child.

BMWK – We’ve been talking about how blessed kids are to have stepmoms, but we also have to give credit to all of the wonderful men that “stepup” to being fathers.  If you know of a great stepdad, give him a shout out in the comments below.

Check out more Blended Family articles on BMWK

About the author

Latoya Irving wrote 85 articles on this blog.

Latoya Irving is a former Air Force brat who loves writing about relationships, and family. She believes God should be the center of both. She is married with two kids and currently live in Texas.

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Blended Families Week: When Love Trumps DNA…an Awesome Love Story

BY: - 20 Sep '13 | Blended Families

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Recently I shared Bible verses intended to encourage couples in their marriage. Many of the verses focused on love with one of them identifying the various things that define love.

It is my belief that all of these qualities are present in us as children. We love without limits. No matter what our parents do in our eyes they are sheer perfection and our desire is to have nothing more than their love. We forgive and keep no record of their wrongs. As we grow older and face our share of challenges, disappointments, heartbreaks and the various things that come with growing up, maintaining these characteristics begins to take more work.  And for some of us, it isn’t always as easy or as natural as it was when we were little. Some of us struggle to forgive unlike our children who can be fighting one minute and the next minute playing make believe on the playground with a peer.

That quality is one of the many things that makes being the recipient of a child’s love so miraculous. There is nothing on earth like it. If a child gives you their heart you are being given the most precious gift there is. But as the scripture says, “To whom much is given much is required.(Luke 12:48)”

Love Trumps DNA 1And that is why I rejoice for men like my husband. Men who realize the gift they are being given in the form of a child. Men who realize that children; however, they come into your lives, are a blessing meant to be valued, loved, nurtured and cherished.

My husband opened his arms and his heart to my daughter and I. I have watched his eyes light up at her accomplishments and I have seen the hurt in his face when her little heart ached. I have listened to him read bedtime stories, twirl her in the air and pray with her. I have talked to him as he has left work to go volunteer at her school and stood in the kitchen watching him help her with her homework. He has put together toys, driven around with a truck full of balloons and stood in line at amusement parks while little girls giggled with excitement behind him. He has adorned paper crowns and posed for a million pictures. There are countless things that he has done simply because there is nothing that brings him more joy than seeing his child happy.

His child. Our child.

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About the author

Krishann Briscoe wrote 32 articles on this blog.

Krishann Briscoe is a child welfare professional turned freelancer with a background in child and adolescent development and social work. In addition to authoring her personal blog His Mrs. Her Mr., Krishann is a contributor for Disney's Babble, The Conversation and The Conscious Perspective. Krishann resides in Southern California with her husband and their two daughters.

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