Aren’t children great… most of the time? lol. When I was a classroom teacher, I spent a lot of time with different types of kids and saw that these little people embody some of the best qualities of what it means to be human. Now as a married woman, I think that following in the footsteps of babes can actually enhance my marriage.
Here are five things that children do well that we can learn from to strengthen our marriages.
Kids are notorious for being best friends one minute and in the next minute being worst enemies. They fight, forgive, and then move on. In our marriages, we are bound to have conflict, but how long do you want to lick your wounds? How many times do you want to rehash the same story to prove a point? How long are you going to hold a grudge? I know, as adults, the topics, points of contentions, and emotions can “get real,” but if we keep love and commitment at the core of our marriages, it can become easier to forgive.
Children have an insatiable thirst for knowing more. They love asking, “why” and “how do you know?” I think we can apply a similar level of curiosity with our spouses. Never get too settled or get the impression that you know everything about your spouse. Taking a stance of intimate curiosity will inspire all types of emotional, sexual, and spiritual exploration and discovery.
Kids take things at face value, unless they have been given a reason not to. In our society, it has become commonplace, even within marriages, to be afraid to trust. But if you married your spouse and they have done nothing to betray your trust all of these years, why not just assume that you chose wisely until proven otherwise? How much energy and time do you really have to be concocting scenarios about where you think they really are going or who they are really talking to. Trust is a decision and a risk, but so is marriage. Try trust first and see where it takes you.
Kids love pleasure, love to have a good ‘ol time, and love to laugh. With the weight of bills, government shut downs, crazy bosses, and health concerns, make sure you factor in time to play into your marriage. Some of my treasured memories with my husband include chasing each other around the house and singing really loud and off key on a road trip and laughing around our respective dumbness. These “play dates” will keep you both connected and youthful.
Living In the Moment
Like play, you will be hard pressed to find a kid thinking about having to do their homework when they are hanging out with their friends, watching television, or listening to music. Similarly, when you are with your spouse, be.with. them. and only them in that moment. Time flies and you don’t want your memories with your spouse to be a blur or worse— a litany of things that you took care of, but in the end, really aren’t that important. The dishes, laundry, and in many cases—the kids— can wait.
BMWK– I listed only five things that children do well, but I know there are more. What do you think? What can we learn from children?