9 Things Your Wife Doesn’t Want to See You Doing

BY: - 18 Oct '13 | Marriage

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Alright so since I talked about “9 Things Your Husband Doesn’t Want to See You Doing”, it’s only fair that the wives get to speak their piece and voice their dislikes as well. Just as in my other post, these are a compilation of things that other wives have shared with me. This is not meant to cause any arguments or to say that anyone is “walking on eggshells” in their marriage just because they don’t really care to witness these habits they see in their husbands. So don’t shoot the messenger. Husbands, if you do any of these things, don’t take it personally. After all, y’all called us out on wearing our sexy hair bonnets and such.

BMWK: What are some things your husband does that you could stand to see less of?

Spitting: That's Nasty!

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Spitting. That hog spit, bringing it up from your gut thing you do is so not sexy. It's even worse when done in a moving vehicle or walking down a sidewalk. It sounds nasty, it looks nasty, it's just...nasty!

About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.

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2 WordPress comments on “9 Things Your Wife Doesn’t Want to See You Doing

  1. Ryan O'Neal

    Sister, you have some OTHER ISSUES that really need to be addressed. The info in this commentary seems more related to an unmarried couple, not Husband and Wife. When you get to the point that you are angry for the NORMAL Male function, maybe, the man in your past relationships was NOT the issue?

    1. Mary M.

      Sir, have you actually READ the article? Or did you just look at the pretty pictures? She clearly stated that these were things OTHER WIVES mentioned to her. But please, continue explaining to her why her past relationships didn’t work out. I’m sure she and her husband care.
      While you’re examining errors, the word dispute is misspelled on YOUR website, next to the word Civil. Good-day!

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When Opposites Attract: How to Handle Differences in Marriage

BY: - 21 Oct '13 | Marriage

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It might not feel like it to the two people involved in the relationship, but I believe opposites attract. They can actually create a pretty dynamic relationship if both are tolerant of their differences. What one spouse doesn’t possess, the other can make up for. Although it can sometimes lead to frustration, having a partner who can bring a different perspective to the relationship could be a great benefit.

I can’t imagine being married to someone just like me. It would drive me completely insane. If my husband and I were just alike, there wouldn’t be any money saved because of all the frivolous spending, and some of the decisions needing to be made wouldn’t be as well thought out as they are now. Yes, I am grateful for our differences.

I am finding that the majority of things couples complain about are those differences. “Why won’t he communicate with me”, “Why does she spend so much money” are just a few of those grievances. In some cases these are things we knew about our partner in the beginning, we just thought we could change them. When reality kicks in and we realize they are who we thought they were, we get worried.  If you feel like you’re currently in an unbalanced relationship, you could be better off than you think.

It’s misguided to think our relationship is doomed because our spouse doesn’t communicate the way we do

It’s misguided to think our relationship is doomed because our spouse doesn’t communicate the way we do. Yes, we’ll have to learn each other’s style and make some slight alterations to our own in order to accommodate our partner, but isn’t that what commitment is all about? Communication can be so tricky. Who doesn’t want a partner who is able to open up and share what’s on their heart? However, this isn’t easy for everyone. Some are dealing with issues from their past where being vulnerable failed them. So it makes sense that now they aren’t as eager to open up.

Communication is two-part; it’s more than just talking. When we know our spouse is one who doesn’t communicate, we just have to get a little creative and be more accepting of who they are. Couples must find new ways to listen because we all don’t communicate the same. While the silent-type isn’t necessarily talking, they probably are listening, really listening. Although the silent type won’t always verbalize what they’re feeling, their actions are usually sending a message to the other spouse. You can really get to know a person just by observing. We’ll learn our partner’s likes and dislikes just by paying attention to what they do in certain situations, not always by what they say. We can create an amazing marriage when we stop being so concerned about anything our spouse does that’s different from the way we do it.  The focus should be on making the partnership work.  

A great relationship can exist between opposites. Whether you’re a big spender married to a penny pincher, or a spontaneous individual married to the homebody, enjoy and embrace your differences. Marriage can be an awesome experience when we look for new ways to communicate, learn and connect with our spouse. Our differences can really add a great dynamic to our relationship.

BMWK, how do you and your spouse handle your differences?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 619 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.

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