Female Breadwinners: Are Men Afraid to Deal with Women Who Make More Money?

BY: - 2 Oct '13 | Marriage

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by Adam Butler,

Gender roles and the concept of female “bread winners” has always been a major issue on Facebook, and a hot topic of conversation during my social forums, the Vent.  I’ve been  thinking about what is the real problem, if any, with female “bread winners”? Why are we men so afraid to deal with a woman that makes more than us?

Perhaps the issue isn’t as simple as who makes more money than who.  Maybe the issue is who carries more weight than the other. Each and every time this issue has come up during one of our forums a woman (or two or three) says, “I don’t want to take care of a man”; and I agree with this 100%!

I don’t think any man that is worth his salt would want to lay around and willingly let a woman do all the work.  Now, I’m not talking about lames here, this post is only referring to real men.  See, what I think confuses men the most, or is the biggest question, is what exactly happens when his wife becomes the “bread winner”? Will she throw it in my face? Will she get tired and eventually leave me? Am I less of a man because I don’t make as much as her?

OK.. OK.. OK, I know this may sound silly, but these are the questions that go through most men’s heads. You have to understand that a lot of us were raised to be the “bread winner” at all cost.  And as a man, if you don’t accomplish this goal you are without question a failure! Seems harsh, but ask any man and I guarantee you they would agree. It’s the culture we live in and I know it seems as though It’s a tough expectation, but it’s the truth. This is why men do things like wait forever to ask a woman they love with all their heart to marry them because they are saying to themselves “I gotta get my money right before all that“. It’s a silly thing to think, but if you really give it some thought it becomes pretty simple to figure out.


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  • Finally

    Love this!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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  • Apathetic

    I know my role – I am responsiple for the house and I carry my wieght financially. I pay all the bills and make sure he eats – what he wants to eat. We met 8 years ago – we have been married 5. He worked up until 2 years ago when his role was down sized – he looked for a new job for about a month. Then it stopped and so did ‘we’. His desperation turned into him becaming gullible – got involved in a internet “Get paid to Shop” scam and lost $1500. Then he signed up for a $60/month vacation sales multi level marketing scam. I covered it all – because I could cover it and God kept me grounded – even though my opinion on the front end was “this doesn’t seem legitimate”.

    When I talk to him about going into business together – he seems enthusiastic – but wont do any of the leg work – find out how much things cost. I have a day job – that pays our bills. He is capable of doing the research but isnt doing it. My fear is he will say yes – I will do all the research, pay all the capital investment and he will want to share in the profit – where is the “we” and how long do I carry the marraige – It was ok on the front end to be the bread winner – but when did it become ok to do nothing. Yes I am frustrated in nmore ways than one. So is the price for a marraige this unhappiness?

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