11 Reasons Why I’m Thankful for My Husband

BY: - 29 Nov '13 | Marriage

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During a week where we are reminded of why it’s important to give thanks, I find myself thinking about the things and people in my life that I am thankful for.  I am pretty good at expressing gratitude. I always have been, and I thank my mom for that. I could go on and on, telling you all about my wonderful kids, my awesome friends, and the hundred other things I’m thankful for. But, instead, I am going to share why I am thankful for my husband.

So often we can focus on the negative in our relationships.  Maybe your spouse has a bad habit, maybe things have been a little rocky, or maybe they recently did something that pissed you off.  I’m not saying my husband is perfect.  He’s definitely not.  But neither am I.  However, he is a good man.  His imperfections are part of why I love him so much.

I know that things in your relationship may not be what you want them to be.  Maybe you are even experiencing a rough patch, and you aren’t sure what to do next.  Take some time this week to really think about why you married your spouse.  Take a moment to reflect on all the qualities that you are thankful for.  They say when we start to lose sight of what matters, expressing gratitude can help us regain focus.  May this Thanksgiving give you an opportunity to not just express gratitude, but regain focus.

Here are a few reasons why I am thankful for my husband.

  1. He gets me.  I’m a pretty easygoing person, but even with that, I can be hard to figure out.  This man has me figured out. He knows what I’m thinking before I even say it – even if it’s outrageous.
  2. He’s a good dad.  I feel like there are so many negative images out there about Black men being bad dads. Frankly, I’ve had enough.  Oh, how thankful I am that I have a man in my life who adores his children and shows them so every single day.
  3. He can cook.  Nothing beats a man that can hook up a tasty dish.  And not only does it taste good, but the presentation is even on point.  Where’s my plate?
  4. He’s very handy around the house.  I love to act like I can do everything on my own, and although I probably could if I had to, I don’t want to.  I am so grateful for a man that fixes things, mows the lawn and keeps our house in tip-top shape.
  5. He’s a man of faith. Enough said. A man of faith matters more than anything.  As long as he lets God guide his actions, he can never go wrong.
  6. He never disrespects me.  I know women who are in relationships where their significant other disrespects them and it saddens me.  Being with a man who respects me makes me feel so thankful because without respect our relationship would not exist.
  7. He fights fair. We don’t fight often, but when disagreements occur, there is no hitting below the belt.
  8. He supports my dreams.  I’m a big dreamer.  I have ideas all of the time, and I am always off on a new professional or personal adventure.  He understands my need to dream and he always shows his support and encouragement.
  9. He listens. I talk… a lot!  He listens… most of the time.  I’m definitely thankful for that.

10. He knows what I need.  I am very indecisive and sometimes my husband just helps me make a decision.  And when I feel lost and confused, he often knows what I need, even when what I need is some space to think and just be.

11. He cracks me up. Marriage is just too hard to go through without a sense of humor. My husband makes me laugh – sometimes right in the middle of crying.  I love it.

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 440 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a lifestyle consultant who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create lives they love. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

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The One Word That Can Destroy All Families

BY: - 2 Dec '13 | inspiration

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There is one word that can destroy all families and that word is content. C-O-N-T-E-N-T! Content as in comfortable or relaxed.

Being content is our Community’s fundamental flaw. One achievement and we believe we have arrived. One set back and we are no longer willing to make an effort. Whether it’s people, money or jobs we have a tendency to forget good or bad it is just one outcome of one day of what we hope will be a long life.

This shortsightedness leads to contentment. Contentment causes us to treat life as a destination rather than what it truly is – a journey.

Get to Steppin’

Life is not about being content. Life is not static, fixed or unchanging. Life is not about what you undertook yesterday.

Life is about action. Life is about today and how you plan to improve upon tomorrow, if you are blessed with a tomorrow. Life is not just a journey, life is a vigorous dynamic adventure.

Consider that those we most admire personify this truth about life and have managed to avoid this fundamental flaw of being content. The study of our Community’s champions illustrates those refusing to be content. Theirs is a journey of continuous progression, growth and excellence. We reverence these champions because of their ability to appreciate a moment without being overcome by any moment.

Our champions stay in the moment. Those we reverence live for the moment. The great are actively trying to improve. The successful are never content. This approach to avoid contentment would serve us well collectively and individually. This approach would aide us after we say “I do”.

To Have and To Hold

The black community has the distinction of the lowest marriage rate in America at 30%. Correspondingly, single mothers bear the overwhelming responsibility of raising 70% of African American children.

Scholars give numerous reasons why the Black marriage rates are so low and the divorce rate is so high such as poverty and education. Yet, other communities worldwide maintain lasting relationships despite greater poverty and immense illiteracy. I believe the decline of Black marriages originates with contentment.

Contentment Breeds Resentment

Louis L’ Amour the American writer once wrote “Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content.” If only all of Black America could assimilate the truth and power of those words.

Our marriages fail, our relationships flop, our communities suffer – We collectively make little progress – because we are so easily content.  Mr. L’ Amour’s words declare that no marriage or family will get anywhere by being content. Our contentment self-sabotages those things we claim to hold near and dear – marriage, family, children and community.

The King and Queen

The man who once burned with desire for his queen ceases to appreciate her shortly after saying “I do”. Now he is the couch potato caring little about maintaining the athletic physique that drove her wild and made her excited to be on his arm. No longer does he whisk her away on spur of the moment courting adventures. Why? His thoughts and actions are inaccurate. Like the hunter who has captured his prey, he believes his queen to be a trophy mounted on the wall. Mistakenly feeling content as if there is no more work required.

Similarly, the woman who once professed that her man was the king of the castle soon disavows this position the first moment he has a setback. Now she shows more interest in eating every other hour instead of keeping the hour glass figure which made her king the envy of other men. No longer does she surprise him with hot baths or breakfast in bed. Why? Her thoughts and actions are inaccurate. Like a princess in all fairytales, she doesn’t realize that the goal and the joy in Happily Ever After is living happily after the wedding.

This is the flaw of Black marriage. Couples let contentment breed resentment. Both are happy to get each other but neither acknowledges that to experience Happily Ever After, they have to do what champions do – continue to grow, progress and excel. Relationships, like life, are dynamic not static. Either we move forward or we fall behind; we grow or we fall apart.

Acknowledging our fundamental flaw is the first step to improving our communities, strengthening our families and reversing the horrifying marriage statistics. We must stop being content immediately.

We must learn to live and love each moment of every day actively. To do anything else will continue to wreak havoc in our relationships and sabotage the opportunity to realize the greatness that lies within each of us. To do anything else will continue to tear at the fabric of our community and prevent us from ever experiencing Happily Ever After.

About the author

Nathaniel Turner wrote 21 articles on this blog.

Nathaniel A. Turner, J.D. is the author of "Raising Supaman", a collection of life lessons written by a father to his son. Nate holds degrees in Accounting, Theology, History and Law. Nate blogs at The Raising Supaman Project which exists to CHANGE THE WORLD one parent, one child at a time.

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