5 Tips on Selecting the Perfect Christmas Gift for Your Spouse

BY: - 8 Nov '13 | Marriage

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Christmas-Gifts

How do you give the perfect Christmas gift? Well, let me tell you it doesn’t begin with your wallet, it begins with your heart. Your desire to give your mate the perfect gift will cause you to pay close attention to what they are saying, what they are looking at on the internet, what they are talking about with their friends. It takes a little detective work on your part. Here is the thingthe Perfect Christmas Gift is not the gift you think would be perfect for your mate but the gift your mate thinks is perfect.

These 5 tips should put you on the right track to finding that perfect gift. Use them when shopping for your mate. They can be modified to fit your needs when shopping for others.

1) Know if this Christmas your spouse would appreciate a tangible gift or a gift of quality time.

Tangible gift – something you can wrap up in a box and stick under the tree.

Gift of quality time – a day at the spa, a weekend getaway, a trip to the theater without the kids.

2) Know your spouse’s size.

Know your mates’ shoe size, pant size, and shirt size. Find out now. There is nothing worse than going to the mall and holding up a dress saying “I think this will fit” or asking the sales person what size they wear with the expressed, “my spouse is just a little bigger than you so this should work.” NO!

3) Start asking curious questions now. You can be direct.

Babe is there anything special you want for Christmas this year?

4) Know what excites your spouse.

Example- One year for Christmas I stayed up half the night trying to get through to the Green Bay Packers sales line because they had open season on their stocks. My husband is a huge Green Bay fan. The stock is essentially worth nothing more than bragging rights and the stick your chest out feeling that comes with being part owner of the Green Bay Packers Football team. Was my husband excited? Oh my gosh yes.

5)  Know your budget.

A gift is not a gift if you are still paying for it 6 months later. That is called debt. Spend within your means. Again, the perfect gift is not about your wallet. A creatively crafted gift certificate for a romantic evening with the events of your spouse’s choosing can be very exciting. Noticing that she complains of cold hands and you purchasing the best gloves your budget can afford is special. His favorite cologne or a new personalize baseball cap may mean way more than a new suit that is outside of your financial means.

Avoid the pressure and rush of holiday shopping, start thinking about the Perfect Christmas Gift now. It’s not too early.

BMWK – Do you already have something in mind for the perfect Christmas gift?  Do you have any low cost, but thoughtful, suggestions you can share? Post below.

 

About the author

Deborah L. Mills wrote 146 articles on this blog.

As a coach, speaker, and author, Deborah along with her husband Jerome have declared a Relationship Revolution. She declares that healthy relationships are your birthright. She is here to help you strategize and get what belongs to you. Deb is wife to one, mother of three and grandmother of one.

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4 Ways to Break the Nitpicking and Complaining Curse in Your Marriage

BY: - 11 Nov '13 | Marriage

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One of my biggest pet peeves is chronic complainers. It just does something to my spirit and energy to hear people focus on what’s not working. Unfortunately, there are many relationships that suffer from this illness. It is easier to complain than to create an action plan and follow it. Now some of us don’t exactly know how to change this behavior. We may have been this way all our life and have carried this very bad habit into our marriage. Not only is it stressful on the spouse who does it, can you imagine the long-term damage it does to the marriage overall?

Some people look for what’s not working and aren’t sure how to be happy. Of course the majority of us have areas in our marriage we wish were better, but we miss our marriage blessings when we focus on small issues. I’ve learned in my 15 year marriage not everything is a battle. I do understand how stressful it must be to have to keep repeating or experiencing the same bad behavior. But we waste precious time focusing on what our spouse isn’t doing right instead of praising them for how well they show up in other areas of the marriage. Positive reinforcement can benefit the areas in which they lack as well.

Marriage will not solve all of your problems, but the more positive energy you put into it, the greater the benefits.  If you struggle in this area, here are a few tips to help shift your focus:

It’s a behavior you have control over. Complaining about the socks being left on the floor has the same effect as your spouse not picking the socks up. Both are habits that can drive the other partner insane. There are healthy ways to discuss anything in a marriage, being mindful of the result we want is key. No one responds positively to frequent nagging.

Be solution focused. Instead of harping on what’s wrong, bring a new idea to the situation. Make sure it’s realistic and one you both can agree on.

Recognize where your marriage is strong and how you can use that energy to improve the challenged areas.

Love your spouse in spite of his/her imperfections. For the most part, our spouse’s bad habits aren’t a new discovery. Why we trip on them after marriage is something we should examine a little further. Enjoy the person they are and how they treat you instead of what they haven’t done right.

Our marriages need more joy and less complaining. Don’t miss the time and opportunity to enjoy the person you married, flaws and all!

BMWK, what suggestions would you add to breaking the nitpicking and complaining curse in marriage?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 555 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out about Couple's Coaching visit www.lifeediting.com.

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