It Just May Be You: 4 Annoying Traits That Could Be Ruining Your Relationships

BY: - 14 Nov '13 | Marriage

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A strong or successful relationship often starts long before you meet that person. Whether it’s a friendship, acquaintance, or marriage, it starts within. We all can easily think of great relationships we have with people, and the not so great relationships we have with people. More often than not, there is a common denominator for the not-so-great relationships. Sometimes it’s the other person, sometimes it’s us, and sometimes it’s just unhealthy and has reached the end of its season. It’s our job to either protect ourselves from these people, or to take ownership that people are protecting themselves from us.

Here are 4 annoying traits that could be ruining your relationships: 

1. Egotistical. Vain. Boastful. Opinionated. A person who is egotistical is all about making themselves look good. They take so much pride in who they are and what they do, that they leave very little room for others to enter into their space. Most of the time, they don’t even realize they’ve alienated themselves, and they usually believe it’s the other person’s fault. An egotistical person usually appears really confident and sometimes intimidating on the outside, but more often times than not, those are the people with low self-esteem.

2. Selfishness. Are you the type of person who only calls people when you need something? Do you ever make yourself available to help others that help you (even on short notice)? Most selfish people don’t. A selfish person never acknowledges they are at fault for anything. They never take the time to acknowledge another person’s feelings or point-of-view. A selfish person does not take on the attitude of what can they do for you? Instead, they take on the attitude of “how much can you do for me before I even think about doing anything for you”? Selfishness is the cause of many broken hearts.

3. Negativity. Negative people can suck the life out of you. No matter what is going on, they will find a way to find something negative in the situation. These are the people who are constantly blaming everyone and everything around them for their own unhappiness. They hate their job because their boss is a jerk. They find a new (great) job and can’t stand the intern cause they ask stupid questions all day. They never fail to look at the dark side of every situation. After a while, this gets old, so stop it! Nobody wants to be around someone who deflates the happiness in every situation. It’s unhealthy.

4. Arrogance. Most arrogant people have a big ego, which is just as annoying. An arrogant person exudes unpleasantly proud behaviors. They always think they are better than other people, and are not afraid to say it to their face. A lack of humility is one of the most annoying traits a person could have. It’s also a great way to ruin your relationships because most of the time, you come off as rude and condescending. Get over yourself. You’re not God’s gift to the earth, contrary to your own popular belief.

BMWK: What are some annoying traits that have ruined some of your past relationships?

About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.


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The Married Mom’s Guide to Life Balance: What to Do When You’re Feeling Stressed

BY: - 14 Nov '13 | inspiration

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I have spent the last couple of weeks feeling slightly overwhelmed. I hope it doesn’t come across as complaining, because I am grateful for every opportunity that has come my way. The idea of juggling it all is what I’m currently tackling.

I wear many different hats in my life. I am a wife, mother, Life and Relationship Coach, Job-Readiness Trainer, Director of Marriage Ministry at my church, and a part-time writer/blogger. Whew, I get tired just typing it all. As you can guess, some days are better than others.

Over these last few weeks I have taken on an extra assignment at work.  It’s one I’m extremely passionate about, that actually encompasses all I want to do in my career. With that, however, has come a little stress that I didn’t expect and extra time I hadn’t considered. It’s caused me to bring work home and take a little time away from my family.  Although I feel the pressure at times, I am confident that it will all get done, and I will be successful.

Now I know for sure I’m not the only woman with multiple titles who feels the burn at times. To all my other busy married, mommy professionals, it can be done, we just can’t forget the following:

Know your limits.

While we should strive and push ourselves, we must be aware of when it’s feeling like too much. When we do experience those feelings, it’s beneficial to stop and regroup.

Know when to say “NO”.

We can’t always get everything on our plates. Unfortunately, we are sometimes going to have to disappoint others by saying no. Trust me when I say, they will understand.

We also have to be mindful of over-promising, it’s okay to tell someone let me check my schedule and get back to you.

Make sure you are getting spiritually fed.

My relationship with God is what keeps me focused. Our talks remind me that I’m more than a conqueror.

Lean on your spouse.

One of the great qualities of a healthy marriage is the support. We have to be honest with our husbands about what we need and how they can best support us.

Take a little time to enjoy!

We only have this one life and there has to be some time to enjoy it. All work and no play will definitely lead to future regrets.

Although we chose each of these roles, we still have to acknowledge when we are feeling challenged. It won’t always be easy, but it won’t always be difficult either if we make sure to do a little of the above.

BMWK, how do you balance family and career?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 635 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit and


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