I recently had a brief conversation with a friend and he was trying to understand what a very close female friend of his meant when she said “Oh, you’re just too nice”. I honestly never had to tell a guy that, and I wasn’t even sure what a woman could possibly mean by telling another man that. But we hear it all the time “nice guys finish last”. To me, it’s just always been a catch phrase. To me, it wasn’t something that grown folks used in this day and age, simply because, well, you’re grown. And everyone knows good and well that someone being “too nice” is never actually the real issue.
Well like I mentioned before, I definitely have a “nice guy” and have for some time. So I had to turn to some of my trusted girlfriends to get their take on exactly what it means when a woman tells you, “you’re just too nice”.
Here are some answers that we came up with:
1. She's Not Ready to Accept It
She doesn't feel unworthy of your niceness. When a woman is broken or dealing with insecurities and hurt from past relationships, she doesn't know how to accept or appreciate genuine goodness when it shows up on her doorstep. She needs to work on herself before she can open herself up to you.
Solution: Ladies, just tell him. Hurt people, hurt people. If you're dealing with hurt or insecurities, allow yourself to fully deal with them. But don't make him feel like it's him, when it's you. Speaking from experience, you might miss out on the best thing that ever happened to you that way (thankfully, my nice guy stuck around, but not everyone will).
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