Couples Would You Say the Phrase “We’re Pregnant?”

BY: - 4 Dec '13 | Marriage

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Let me clarify…I’m not having a baby, nor is my husband. We’re Pregnant is a phrase often used today when a couple is expecting a baby. I completely understand the intent of the phrase to include both partners in the experience and joy of having a new little life enter their world as they become parents. Yet, are “we” actually pregnant? It’s one of those phrases that has good intent but really misses the truth. It’s noble for expectant fathers to desire to share fully in the experience and a wife to encourage that participation; however, it is a false statement.

  • We’re having a baby
  • We’re expecting and
  • We’re going to be parents

These three phrases all speak to the “we” in the relationship, but stick with what is physically possible.  By definition the word pregnant means carrying unborn offspring inside the body [Encarta Dictionary]. Today when catch phrases change as quickly as the seasons should we pick up on them in our marriages just because they are popular?

I took time to ask some men would they use the phrase we’re pregnant. I’m sure some men do, but all those I spoke with said no. Yet, the ladies I spoke with were alright using the phrase.

My children are far from babies, but I remember each pregnancy like it was yesterday. I was the only one to experience morning sickness, swollen feet and breast, and nine months of my body changing to resemble a cute round brown bear. It wasn’t my husband, although he was there for every moment and every joy. We share in the responsibility of conception, the care for mom, and the preparation for baby.

Men have watched their wife give birth going through excruciating discomfort, while they themselves felt helpless because they could not stop her pain. Delivering their little miracle after 9 months of incubation in mom’s womb is something that only she can do.

We’re not pregnant. This is one responsibility that solely belongs to mom.

Dad’s this takes nothing away from you but gives you opportunity to watch the strength, tenacity, and motherly instincts blossom right before your eyes as you help to care for your expecting wife.

Women we are used to sharing. We share our time, our food, our life with those we love [as do our husbands]. If you are a mom, you know there are times when you can’t even go to the bathroom by yourself. You share that space as well. However, the phrase “I’m Pregnant” and the miracle of having a life growing inside you is one you don’t have to share. It is yours all by yourself. Cherish it. Relish in it. It’s one of the most beautiful times of your life.

BMWK – If you use or would use the phrase “we’re pregnant” what are your thoughts behind it? If you wouldn’t use the phrase, “we’re pregnant,” why not?

About the author

Deborah L. Mills wrote 183 articles on this blog.

Coach, AUTHOR, Speaker, WIFE, Mom, and GRANDMOTHER. That's the gist of who I am. I love people and love to see their life and relationships thrive. As a coach I am ready to support your dream when you don't feel like it. As an author and speaker I am ready to pour into your life so that you can live your best life now. I am a personal and executive coach. Together with my husband I also marriage coach. GO TO MY WEBSITE. THERE IS A FREE GIFT THERE WAITING FOR YOU.


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12 WordPress comments on “Couples Would You Say the Phrase “We’re Pregnant?”

  1. Niambi

    I am sorry but I have to disagree. My husband and I are currently pregnant. I say “we” are pregnant because it is both his and my child together. She is just as much his as is mine and it is very important to me for my husband to be included in this process. I understand someone may feel that the woman actually caries the baby but let us not forget that the baby wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for both the mother and the father.

    1. Raisa Lefe'

      I totally agree with you Niambi. I am 25 weeks, and yes, WE are pregnant. Because guess what? Without him, there would be NO life growing inside of me. No, he doesn’t physically have to carry our baby girl, but he makes up 1/2 of her dna and just happens to BE the reason “she” is a “she.”

  2. Deborah

    Yes it is the seed from our husband that causes a beautiful life to grow on the inside of us. But only one person carries that seed for nine months. It is an awesome miracle that we each as husband and wife have distinct roles. Men have been given the needed seed and woman have been given the egg to fertilize and the womb to incubate. Our husbands are a vital part of our child’s lives but we as women hold the womb.

  3. nylse

    I agree with the author – we are not pregnant, but we are expecting a child. Maybe its semantics but I automatically cringe when I hear this phrase. I also think o that’s sweet this must be their first. 🙂

  4. Yana

    I 100% agree with you on this. “We’re pregnant” is one of those forced things that couples say to prove their unity/coupledom, and it is so annoying. The woman will realize that when she is in labor, that SHE and SHE alone is the only one who’s pregnant, lol!

  5. Beryl

    The woman carry the egg and the man carries the sperm. The man does not get the woman pregnant. Women become pregnant as a result of an egg and a sperm initing. The man cannot get her pregnant, because he is not supplying ALL the necesary components. He is contributing to the process of pregnancy. He is not that powerful. He contributes..The woman then becomes pregnant, carries and delivers her baby which is also his baby.
    At no time is the man ever pregnant. He is looking to the arrival of his child along with his wife. He will become a father. Just like at no time can a woman and man say, our penis is erect and we are about to ejaculate woman’s. The men in this world would not allow women to stake a claim into their bodily functions, so why are women so desperate to include their husbands in something that is so not a man’s function.
    If women want to be so close to their husbands that they use and allow this phrase, then they should go the extra mile and use other phrases to share and claim bodily functions. I’ll bet you will not hear the men say, we both are the head of the household, we both protect the family, we both are erect, we both are about to ejaculate the sperm.

    1. Deborah

      All the couples who desire to really share in the birth of their precious baby are to be commended. Especially in a day and age where many couples have children together but not a relationship together. The oneness is duly noted. Yet and still Beryl and “anonymous” you are right only one person carries a baby for nine months.

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Couples: 10 Ways to Spice Up Your Normal Date Nights

BY: - 4 Dec '13 | Marriage

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Married couples often make the mistake of not dating once they’ve tied the knot and started adding to their families. I’ve been guilty of not nurturing my FIRST relationship with the onset of children, but I soon realized the consequences weren’t good. I didn’t feel as close to my spouse and he admitted to feeling the same way. Being good parents is important but having a good relationship trumps it all because your children need mom and dad to show them what a healthy functioning working relationship looks like. Don’t put your relationship on the back burner. Show your children, and most importantly one other, that the person you said “I do” to matters!

Here are 10 Ways to Spice-up Your Normal Date Nights:

  1. Go the movies and snuggle close while it’s playing.
  2. Go to Happy Hour and enjoy appetizers and a little wine. Most importantly don’t forget to FLIRT with each other.
  3. Rent a hotel room and make as much noise as you like. We all know our noises are muffled with children in the house.
  4. Go downtown and people watch while walking hand in hand.
  5. Get a couple’s massage or take turns massaging one another.
  6. Play a board game and make up your own fun prize for the winner.
  7. Cook dinner together and eat by candlelight.
  8. Have a picnic and share ten things you love about your spouse.
  9. Go dancing and break out those moves you used to do. Who cares if the running man is no longer in style.
  10. Go for a romantic dinner cruise and take pictures to commemorate your love.

BMWK – please share with additional date night ideas.

Kirstie McWilliams-Myvett is a wife, mom, and never-ending work in progress. She blogs at Doing Me: Mind | Body | Spirit

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