If at First You Don’t Succeed; 25 Ways to Improve Your Marriage in 2014

BY: - 20 Dec '13 | Marriage

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“You can’t have a maximum marriage with a minimum effort!”  That’s a quote from my husband, Lamar, and it’s basically a mantra for this site. If you want the best out of your marriage, then you have to put your best effort in it.  If you want things to change in your marriage, then you have to do something different.

We hear a lot of people complaining about their marriages.  But when we ask them what have they been doing to fix it, they say things like:

“We tried counseling a few years back…but it didn’t work?”

“My husband/wife does not like counseling…so we don’t go.”

“He/she is never going to change.”

If you were looking for a job, and you got turned down in your first interview, would you stop looking? When you were applying for schools and you didn’t get into your favorite one, did you stop applying?  Since when is trying one thing EVER acceptable?

We want your marriage to succeed in 2014. And succeeding means putting your best foot forward to implement change. If your marriage is bad…we want it to be better.  If your marriage is good, we want it to be great.

BMWK – follow the link to check out our list of

25 Ways to Improve Your Marriage in 2014

About the author

Ronnie Tyler wrote 473 articles on this blog.

Ronnie Tyler is the co-creator of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com and co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing. The proud mom of 4 has been selected by Parenting Magazine as a Must-Read Mom and is one of Babble's Top 100 Mom Bloggers.


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  • Sharaell

    I found this to be such an informative and helpful article. Thank you so much!

    • Denkia Heatley

      How can I change that my husband is always working. I do a lot of things a lone and with other couples. My husband is always tired

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NS5Cx-kjbHA can this marriage be saved

    What’s up, just wanted to say, I loved this blog post. It
    was inspiring. Keep on posting!

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5 New Year’s Resolutions to Make Your Marriage Better and Stronger in 2014

BY: - 23 Dec '13 | Marriage

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Even though the New Year isn’t here yet, you can start plotting on what resolutions you’re gonna make to make your marriage stronger and better. Check out my top 5 resolutions ya’ll should jump on.

1. Get A Show To Watch Together. One of the main complaints Dr. Roz and I hear from couples is that they don’t spend a lot of time together. Hell, to be honest most married couples don’t spend any time together. So what’s one of the easiest ways to start spending time together? Find at least one good television show (if not more) and make that your “in house date night.” Not only will you get to watch a dope show with your other half but it will give ya’ll a chance to start spending more time around each other.

2. Read The Bible Together. Now I know everyone isn’t a Christian or even religious for that matter, but truth be told, the bible has a lot of GREAT instructions for marriage that we ALL can learn from. And trust me, what the bible says about marriage will only help your marriage, not hurt it. I can tell you this though, if you want to have a GREAT marriage (not just a sub par, good or aiight marriage) you and your spouse should be spending at least one night a week doing a bible study together. Whether that’s doing a couples devotion or actually reading the bible together and discussing anything that stands out to you, I truly believe this is the most important thing you could be doing to invest in your marriage.

3. Have A Monthly Date Night. I know that in most marriages you’ve got both people working, commutes, kids, homework, basketball, cheerleading, girl scouts, etc. etc. so there’s a shortage of time for those “out of the house” date nights.  BUT we gotta make sure that we still date each other. So with time being a factor, a weekly date night may be out of the question.. but you gotta get at least one “out of the house” date nights in every month.

4. Work Out Together. Unless you and your significant other are marathon runners or health nuts, then you’re both 9 times outta 10 putting on some extra pounds that ya’ll could stand to get rid of. So why not do it together?

5. Have More Sex AND Better Sex. My former Pastor John K. Jenkins Sr., representing the First Baptist Church of Glenarden, always says he spends most of his time trying to get single people to STOP having sex and trying to get married people to START having sex! So us married folk need to not only start having sex (with our spouse that is) but we need to start having more sex AND better sex! A lot of time as couples we never talk to each other about sex, what we like, what turns us on, what we wanna try, etc. and that’s gotta stop! Dwayne Wade said his college coach at Marquette told him every year he needs to bring something new to his game and I say every couple should follow that same advice. So my challenge in 2013 for ya’ll is that EVERY married couple needs to bring something new to the bedroom!

BMWK – what New Year’s Resolutions are you making for your marriage?

About the author

Rahaman "Kil" Kilpatrick wrote 27 articles on this blog.

Rahaman "Kil" Kilpatrick is a relationship coach, producer, writer, photographer, director and co-creator of Marriage Exposed. He has been married 13 years to his beautiful wife Tanya and they have a beautiful daughter together, Naomi. Through Marriage Exposed & coaching couples with Dr. Roz, Kil encourages people to always continue to fight for their marriages and relationships.


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