4 Ways to Get to Know the Person You’re Dating

BY: - 14 Jan '14 | Relationships

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4 Ways to Get to Know the Person You're Dating

Recently, I hung out with my first true love. You know the one. The guy you would have married if only you met him in your thirties and not your teens or twenties. The one you compared other men to a decade after dating. During our conversation, I revealed that I didn’t like scary movies. As a matter of fact, I hate them. I won’t watch anything starring Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger or other demonic characters capable of giving me nightmares for the rest of the week. I don’t even want the DVDs under my roof, especially after seeing one particular Sid Roth It’s Supernatural episode. My lifelong friend laughed and said, I really know you, but at the same time, I don’t know you at all.

I thought about his words and wondered how often we stop short of getting to really know our significant other. We may know their favorite foods, colors and TV shows. Or perhaps we know their beliefs about education, religion and politics. But if we took time to dig deeper, we may discover something new about our soul mates, which keeps the relationship fresh and exciting. The new knowledge may even lead to falling in love all over again.

1. Abstain from Sex

OK, before you stop reading this article, hear me out! If you remove the sexual aspect of the relationship, you must depend solely on the spiritual, emotional and mental connections. Fasting from sex may expose an area in your relationship that needs a bit more TLC.

2. Learn Each Other’s Love Languages

My love language is Words of Affirmation. So, naturally I like to stroke my man’s ego, remind him why I love him so much and give him unsolicited compliments. But what if that isn’t his love language? My words may stop at his ear and not make it to his heart. He may need physical touch, acts of service, quality time or gifts to feel loved.

3. Play a Game of Questions

As a reporter, I drill dates. Just kidding. Well, kind of. I do ask a lot of questions, though. Guys I’ve gone out with have confessed that they have quiet or private personalities, but find themselves opening up to me. Make serious and silly inquiries. Ask what their first impression of you was and how accurate it is today. Ask what job they would do if money wasn’t a factor. Ask about their favorite teacher, relative or friend. Inquire about what argument their parents had that he hopes to avoid with you.

4. Reverse Roles

Recently, my co-worker resigned from her job. When I asked what the department would do without her, someone said she didn’t do that much. Well, they didn’t “do that much” to understand her role in the organization. They assumed she didn’t work hard, since she didn’t have what they considered an impressive title. Sometimes we take that attitude home from work and onto a date. If you cook, tie an apron on your boyfriend when he comes over to visit. If he plans and pays for a romantic night out, the woman can take charge of the fun and the funds. If you’re stuck in gender roles, be a modern couple and make a swap, even if it’s only for a short time.This will give you a greater appreciation of what the other person brings to the table and how their duties improve your standard of living.

Hey BMWK Fam—How are you getting to know your significant other better in 2014?

About the author

Heather Hopson wrote 59 articles on this blog.

Not long ago, Heather Hopson was an award-winning television host in the Cayman Islands. Today, she's writing a different kind of story as a new mom. She gives readers the key to her diary and shares personal stories about single parenting, dating, transitioning to motherhood and her obsession with being what her family calls an "activity mom." The site features celebrity interviews, parent spotlights and confessional videos. Follow her journey through motherhood on Twitter @dearmomdiary.

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Power Couple: Keith and Fawn Weaver Share Tips on Being Happily Married

BY: - 14 Jan '14 | Marriage

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Power Couple: Keith and Fawn Weaver Share Tips on Being Happily Married

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We are back with another fabulous Power Couple interview with Fawn & Keith Weaver. She’s the creator of Happy Wives Club (HWC), and he is the Happy Husband who has stood beside her for over ten years. In addition to running her successful blog, Fawn is also President of a vacation rental company and Keith is a Senior Executive for a motion picture studio.

This couple leads by example. The true love they have for each other is felt even through a phone conversation. This is a couple who dated for eight months before deciding on a whim to forego the traditional wedding they were planning, and instead elope in Las Vegas in 2003. They realized there was no reason to wait any longer.

Fawn started the HWC because, despite divorce statistics and the images in the media, she knew she couldn’t be the only happy wife. So with Keith’s support, she set out on a mission. What started as just a small group of 5 family members and friends has now grown to over 500,000 members who are “Not Stepford. Not Desperate. We just love our hubbies!”

Just last week, Fawn’s new book, Happy Wives Club launched. The HWC book is Fawn’s journey on a worldwide search for the secrets of a great marriage, by interviewing couples that had been married for 25 years or longer. I was fortunate enough to receive an advance copy of the book, and can honestly say: it is not like any marriage book you’ve read before. It’s funny. It’s real. It’s extraordinary. If you’re looking to keep, renew or create a happy marriage, this book is for you.

Check out the interview for a peek inside the lives of this happy power couple.

BMWK: Let’s start with how you guys met. What is your love story?

Keith: The only thing about me telling this story is that she’s going to interrupt and correct. [laughs]. My mother used to be a hairdresser, and more specifically she was Fawn’s hairdresser.

Fawn: This is the part where he gets the story wrong [laughs].

Keith: … but you need to go with my version [laughs]. So ironically, in all of her years and with all the clients that she’s had, my mom has never tried to set me up with anyone. But she described Fawn as being someone who came in and was very poised, and she was quiet and she’d read. I just thought, “This was an odd description of someone”, so it basically just means that she’s literate and quiet [laughs].

So my mom says, “I’ve met your wife. You’ve got to call this girl named Fawn” and I said “Yea, no.” My mom kept building me up to Fawn as well… but she was not interested either. My mom gave me Fawn’s number, and after a lot of pushing, I finally called her. And really, I don’t even know why I did it. Maybe it was just to get my mom off my back. And what developed from there was just an amazing phone conversation, which was interesting because I don’t like to talk on the phone.

I almost didn’t want to spoil our good phone relationship by meeting her in person because my mom didn’t describe what she looked like physically. So in my head, Fawn was just really big on personality, but not so much on looks [laughs]. But after about a month, we agreed to meet and it was at that moment, I knew I wanted to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her.

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About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 148 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.

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