Couples Spotlight: Deven and Ressurrection – From Homeless Shelter to Altar

BY: - 14 Feb '14 | Couple's Spotlight

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By now you may have seen this couple’s love story on sites such as Essence or Huffington Post. This couple has a fairytale ending that most can only say was a divine encounter. After being forced to close down her massage therapy business, and losing everything she had including her home, Ressurrection was forced to go to a homeless shelter. No one could’ve predicted that it was there that she would meet the love of her life: Deven a homeless military veteran who served in the army. Instead of a traditional wedding reception, they celebrated their special day, by going out to feed the homeless after exchanging their vows.

She is the mother of a seventeen-year-old daughter, a full-time speaker, author, advocate and entrepreneur, and together they founded Glory Soldiers Global, an organization focusing on assisting others in overcoming the effects of child sexual abuse, including but not limited to: homelessness and poverty. In this interview, they share how this organization came to be, how homelessness increased their communication, as well as advice for those still looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, and more.

BMWK: How did your individual relationship experiences prior to finding each other, prepare you for the relationship you built together?

Ressurrection: My previous relationship experiences were full of people who were not the ones. My husband is in a league by himself and it is hard to compare anyone to him, that is why I married him. What I can say about my learning experience through those relationships are that I was able to see myself in a healthy and unhealthy place. I learned what I needed, what lifted me up and what tore me down.

Deven: I am genuine and giving, but those I’ve previously dated have not been as honest or generous. I have never had a relationship like the one I have with my wife. There are previous women that I did not want to commit to, and others who were not committed to me. There was a mutual indescribable connection between Res and I.

Deven and I prayingBMWK: What does a perfect date night consist of for you both?

Ressurrection: The perfect date for Deven is probably at home watching a movie [laughs]. I am a romantic. I live for and love romance. So, anything that allows me to look into his eyes, hold his hand, and view something beautiful like water, art, or scenery, makes the most beautiful memories for me.

Deven: Res would probably say a moonlit Ocean view of the water, candle-light and some Thai food. And, I agree. A movie would be nice, and Monuments in the Nation’s Capitol.

BMWK: How did you know that you had truly found the one you wanted to spend your life with?

Ressurrection: I heard from God to go to this particular shelter and when I got there I asked for the reason that I was there. I received what I’d like to interpret as a clue, which was to look for selflessness. And, that is what I found in him. All of the confirmations about him came through my hearing from God.

Deven: Men usually are not in a rush to get married. I did want to find someone special but I wanted to take my time.I was thinking that I had to present myself in a certain way. I thought I needed to be at a certain level of success first financially, but after a talk we had, I realized that her partnership was divine.

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About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.

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Changing Our Perspective Can Change Our Relationship

BY: - 18 Sep '14 | Couple's Spotlight

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Our view of the world is what we hold to be true.  Unfortunately our perceived truths can cause us to be judgmental, jaded, and detached. Over the course of our lives; our perceived truths provide numerous opportunities for us to accumulate a shipyard filled with the carnage from a lifetime of wrecked relationships, friendships, and partnerships.

Simply put, our perceptions can wreak havoc on our relationships.

We certainly have the power to change the trajectory of our relationships by transforming our perceptions.  In order to alter our perceptions, we must re-evaluate our behavior and re-asses our commitment to our relationships. We must change our focus from negative to positive and move from blame to ownership. We have to be accountable for our thoughts, words, and actions and stop justifying and making excuses for our destructive relationship conduct.

In order for us to have the relationships we really want, we must stop denying the role we play in contributing to the demise of our relationships and become courageously truthful in acknowledging and accepting responsibility for the state of our relationships.  Changing our individual perceptions empowers us to attain the relationship reality we desire.

Here are a 10 attributes/values that we must possess and consistently implement to change our perception of our partners and our relationships.

Honesty

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We must be honest with ourselves and our partners about our wants, needs and expectations. If we are not honest with ourselves in addition to not openly communicating with our partner; frustration, fear, resentment, disappointment, jealousy, and anger become prevalent emotions that covertly and overtly dictate our actions in our relationships. Successful couples have learned to create a safe environment in which their partner can be honest without fear of scorn, shame, or retribution.

 

About the author

LaDawn Elliott wrote 43 articles on this blog.

LaDawn Elliott is a highly sought after Relationship Life Coach, Relationship Expert Advice Columnist, dynamic Speaker, powerful Facilitator, and the creator and host of Atlanta’s Premier Love, Sex, and Relationship Video Blog Lip Service Lounge. Her clients call her the “Relationship Rescuer” because of her No Limits coaching style. She guarantees a breakdown for breakthrough. She is proven, purposed, powerful, and passionate and has made GOD’s vision to strengthen and save the family unit one relationship at a time her daily mission.

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