17 Fundamental Rules for a Happy Marriage

BY: - 19 Jun '14 | Marriage

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Happy Marriage

Although all marriages and relationships are not created equal, there are some fundamental rules that every happy marriage probably already follows. Contrary to popular belief, yes, happy marriages really do exist. But these marriages are intentional. There are certain do’s and don’ts. They have certain bonds and rules that can’t be broken.

1. Love unconditionally, even through your differences (pray about it and seek wisdom from God).

2. Create your own definition of marriage success (don’t allow media or other people to define it for you).

3. Don’t rely on your spouse to make you happy. Only you can do that (and besides, that’s too much pressure on your spouse).

4. No matter how heated the argument, always respect one another (disrespect is a hard pill to swallow.)

5. Give each other breathing room (all married couples need to spend time away from each other from time to time).

6. Communication deepens and grows your marriage, while lack of communication builds distance between you (sometimes you just have to have those difficult conversations).

7. Never take each other for granted. Consistent praise and gratitude goes a long way (don’t expect them to always “just know” how you feel).

8. Sex should be fun. Scheduling it makes it seem like a chore. So indulge regularly (spontaneity is exciting).

9. No matter how comfortable you are with each other, there are certain things that your husband or your wife may not want to see all the time (every once in a while, act like you’re still dating).

10. Let your children see you flirt, cuddle and hug (you are the first example of what a healthy relationship looks like).

11. Choose your words wisely. Words are powerful (use them to build your spouse up and not tear them down).

12. Be playful. Don’t take everything so seriously, laugh regularly and sometimes uncontrollably (bring childlike play into your marriage).

13. Share your dreams with each other (when you’re on one accord it creates a stronger bond…nothing seems impossible with the support of your spouse).

14. Don’t argue in public. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than witnessing a couple arguing for the world to see (learn to take deep breaths and save that for the car ride home).

15. Remember those little things you used to do that made them smile before you got married? Yeah, keep doing that (don’t get so comfortable you stop doing the things that attracted you to each other).

16. If your spouse really comes first, that means you’re not on your cell phone, tablet or computer when you’re having a conversation with them (give them your undivided attention).

17. Define date night for yourself, and make it work for your own marriage (it doesn’t have to be expensive, lengthy or “at night”).

BMWK: What other fundamental rules for a happy marriage would you add to this list?

Want professional help with your marriage for a fraction of the price? Learn how to prepare for and overcome life’s challenges in your marriage. Get the tools you need to turn your marriage around. Click here to find out how from the country’s top African American marriage experts.

About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.


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Get It Started with Your Husband; 4 Tips to Rock His World…Tonight!

BY: - 20 Jun '14 | Intimacy

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I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that men want sex. More than that, they want to feel wanted. When was the last time you initiated sex? I don’t mean, when was the last time that you said, “I’m going to sleep soon, so we’ve got a few minutes” or dropping some other subtle hint. I’m saying, when was the last time you aggressively kicked off the party? If your man is always the one starting things off, he may begin to question if you really want him or if this is just an obligation for you. Sure, we’ve all got crazy schedules, never-ending to-do lists and we’re bordering on exhaustion, but we shouldn’t sacrifice intimacy because life is gonna happen…and keep happening. Here are a few ideas for how to get things going:

1. Make it last all day

Send him sexy messages throughout the day to let him know what’s in store for later. Keep this in mind: After you’ve made the promise, don’t renege; it’ll only leave him feeling frustrated.

2. Play the role

Whether you’re a sexy nurse, naughty cop or innocent schoolgirl, role playing can do wonders for getting both of you in the mood.

3. It’s not a job

Be enthusiastic about sexy time with your man. No guy wants to feel like you’re only doing this because you have to. Even if you’re not necessarily in the mood, push past those feelings for a bit and think of the payoff: Sex is a mutually beneficial activity. It increases endorphins, reduces stress, burns calories and you’ll probably sleep better. Win!

4. Talk that talk

You might feel shy or embarrassed just coming out and saying “let’s get it on”, so why not make it fun? Decide on a code word or signal that let’s your man know that it’s about to go down. Whether it’s the old tie on the door knob or a special word or phrase that only you two know the meaning of, it’ll serve as the kickoff to a night (or day, or afternoon) of fun.

At the end of the day, being physically intimate with him, making him a priority, and listening to him (really listening, not just hearing or problem solving) are things that are really important to him and as his wife, they should be important to you too.

BMWK – What say you? How do YOU let your man know that you’re gonna rock his world?

Click here to discover what happens When a Woman Loves a Man. Find out the characteristics that a woman demonstrates that expresses her love to her man in the way that God intended.

About the author

T. Espinoza wrote 55 articles on this blog.

T. Espinoza is CEO at The Style Medic. She's the Diva next door, the girlfriend who always looks Fab but doesn’t spend a bundle. She works with the active, focused Diva who wants to look fly, save time and most of all, save money. T. can help you streamline your wardrobe, maximize your budget and take your style from flat-lined to FABULOUS!


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