Do I Need a Life Coach and How Do I Find a Good One?

BY: - 29 Jul '14 | inspiration

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by Melisa Alaba,

One of the most misunderstood growing professions today is that of a Life Coach. We see Life Coaches on reality shows and talk shows helping folks figure their stuff out? We are prone to wonder how a Life Coach can help me.  Which one do I choose? These are questions I often get in my inbox or on my twitter feed. Today, I would like to offer some clarity on how to select a Life Coach and what they offer.

The main objective of most Life Coaches is to get you to overcome an obstacle that has held you back, hold you accountable for your actions, and see you excel at living the life you desired. Beyond the training and certifications, they have their own personal experiences that shape them uniquely from other personal development coaches in the field.   Life Coaches help their clients navigate major life transitions that may have them stuck.

Here are few things to consider when choosing a Life Coach:

  1. Examine the Life Coach’s personal philosophy and values. Do you find that it resonates with you? Do you hold the same ideas or wish to embody these principles? I believe this is important because trust is needed in the relationship. A good Life Coach will push you to do things you have longed to demonstrate, but have been too scared to attempt.
  2. Expertise Matters. Research your perspective Life Coach’s specialty and the results they have achieved.  If you are seeking balance in your home and work life, seek someone who specializes in spiritual alignment and work life balance, rather than a career coach who may only generalize in this area.
  3. Expect to work. A good Life Coach will give you weekly assignments with the expectation of completion, unlike therapy, mentoring and consulting where talking and reflective listening is one of the principles. Life Coaching is about checking in and taking massive action.
  4. Feel the coach out. Life Coaching is a big investment which in many cases leads to a great payoff of personal achievement and breakthroughs that will shift your life. Take the time to read your prospective coach’s books, blog, and watch their videos. This will allow you to understand more about how they work and what they offer.
  5. Get Referrals. Do you have colleagues or friend that have used a coach that they rave about?  Ask them about their experiences to gain an understanding of what that Life Coach may be like.
  6. Go for it. Life is about taking chances. So jump in and get started. We can always find an excuse as to why we will not try something new.  Allow today be the day that you go for it.

As a Life Coach, I believe that we ultimately have the answer to all of life’s big questions in us. It is my job to guide you in understanding how to access that information by getting in touch with your spirit.  You were designed for greatness…so start living your best life today.

BMWK-  I want to hear from you. What experiences have you had with working with a Life Coach?

Melisa Alaba is a Life Coach, Speaker and the Author of Live Out Loud, 52 Ways to Reawaken Your Spirit and Live a Life of Purpose. Melisa can be found walking on a trail or celebrating her birthday (every day) with a piece of chocolate. You can connect with her at

About the author

Melisa Alaba wrote 15 articles on this blog.

Melisa Alaba is a Life Coach, Licensed Professional Counselor, Speaker and the Author of the Book, Live Out Loud, 52 Ways to Reawaken Your Spirit and Live a Life of Purpose. She helps clients live a life of  joy and passion by connecting with their natural gifts. In her quiet time Melisa can be found walking on a trail or reading a new book. Connect with  her in one of her many classes or on her website at


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What to Do When Joy Doesn’t Come in the Morning

BY: - 30 Jul '14 | inspiration

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by Vanessa M. Thorpe,

After a long hard or stressful day you determine that the most appropriate solution is to retire for the night or go to sleep. “Let’s get this day over with”; after all, who doesn’t feel better after a nice long nap or a successful night’s sleep?  In most cases this is true.  But, what does one do when you don’t feel better after snoozing for eight hours? What does one do when he/she goes to bed upset, hurt or bothered, catches an attitude with everyone in their dreams, and STILL wakes up with no change of heart?

Secular logic may insist that one should feel better after a good night’s sleep, explained by physiological reasons. During sleep, our bodies complete all functions needed for memory consolidation and release of hormones, so that we wake up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.  The medical world has everyone convinced that sleep plays a major role in our everyday lives, our health and social relationships; I concur.  We can all relate to feeling groggy after the lack of sleep, or some may attest to “not being a morning person”. All of this is related to the quality and quantity of sleep we are getting each night.

Biblical logic states “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning” (Psalms 30:5).  As a Christian, I have declared this many times over my own problems and those whom I have helped. But what happens when morning comes, and joy is nowhere to be found?  Biblical teachings tell us that God’s ways are not like our ways.  His thoughts are not like our thoughts and his timing does not translate into the time guidelines of this world.  Morning to God does not mean 12:01 a.m. as chronological time defines, nor does it mean daylight which is the commonly accepted definition of morning.  In the Bible, morning refers to the time after physical and spiritual darkness in one’s life.

Spiritual darkness can last days, weeks, even years which, in turn, means morning can be offset by a day, a week and even years.  The Bible does not advise when morning comes but it does declare that when it comes, joy will be its companion.   When you are in the midst of your darkness, what can you do?  S.L.E.E.P, continue to sleep through the darkness and when it’s morning time, time for your blessing, time for your joy… Jesus Christ, our Lord and our Savior will awaken you. Stay blessed!

S – Stay focused on God and keep the faith. (Colossians 3:2 – “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” /Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths”)

L – Listen for God’s word. Speak to God about your concerns and listen for his direction. God is not the author of confusion and you will hear his voice. (John 10:27-28 – “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me”)

E  – Encourage yourself. No pity parties here.  Speak your morning into existence! (Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” )

E – Engage with like-minded believers who will lift you up in your time of darkness. (Hebrews 10:25 “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”)

P – Pray like you’ve never prayed before. (Matthew 21:22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”/ Matthew 7:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”)

Vanessa Thorpe of Louisville, KY is a wife and mother to four beautiful children. Recently obtaining her Master’s degree in Conflict Management, she has developed a passion for enhancing the lives of others in many ways. Vanessa is a devout Christian woman and community leader who lives by faith and is extremely passionate about building self-confidence, through the love of God, acceptance and positivity.  

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BMWK Staff wrote 1255 articles on this blog.

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