4 Ways You Can Avoid Hurting Your Husband With Your Words

BY: - 8 Aug '14 | Communication

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I’ve been married seventeen years and there have been times that I used my tongue as a two edged sword. Whenever I felt like my feelings were hurt, I would respond by saying the most hurtful things to my husband.

I didn’t care what I said, I just felt that I had the right to say what I wanted. Yes men say things too, but for my situation, I was the one using my tongue to hurt. I had to learn to shut up so I want to share some things to help all the wives who may use their words to hurt their husbands.

  1. When your find yourself in a heated argument, leave the room or the house if you need to. Come back when you can have a conversation. Having a conversation means listening as well as talking.
  2. Think about what you are going to say and if you would want those words spoken to you from someone you love.
  3. Talk to your husband about your feelings and be honest. No one can read minds; if you don’t tell him, he won’t know.
  4. Go to counseling if you feel you need to talk to a professional or hear an outside opinion. You may want to discover why you feel the need to hurt with your words.

I learned to watch what I say during disagreements with my husband. I try to not let the disagreements escalate out of control by listening to what he is saying and taking his feelings into consideration. Doing that forces me to think about my response.

I don’t want to hurt my husband and after the last time I said something very hurtful to him, he told me how bad that made him feel. I was so ashamed all I could do was ask for forgiveness. I had to realize how hurtful and yes abusive I was. Even though he forgave me I know he will always remember what I said and that just makes me think about my words even more.

Hopefully my experience will help some wife use her words to encourage, love and uplift her husband instead of purposely tearing down, degrading and cutting him.

BMWK ladies, do you find yourself hurting your husband with your words?

About the author

Latoya Irving wrote 99 articles on this blog.

Latoya Irving is a former Air Force brat who loves writing about relationships, and family. She believes God should be the center of both. She is married with two kids and currently live in Texas.


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7 WordPress comments on “4 Ways You Can Avoid Hurting Your Husband With Your Words

  1. Cheryl Bailey

    I just read your article about hurting our husbands with our words. I wish I had read this a day earlier. I said some things to my husband that hurt him and I’m praying he doesn’t leave me. He’s a very sensitive guy, but I let my anger get the best of me and I let him have it. What can I do to fix this? I’ve asked for forgiveness from him and God. He won’t talk to me.

  2. LaToya Irving

    Cheryl, if he won’t talk to you, give him some time. When he’s ready to talk to you make sure you tell him why you said those things. Ask God to help you with your words and tell your husband you are working on it. Make sure you are committed to changing though. It can be done, I’m praying for you!

  3. EVN

    This article really spoke to me. Just yesterday I said some awful hurtful words to my husband. The turmoil I feel right now is almost too much to bare. He slept at his mother’s house last night and I’m not sure we can come back from this. I’m devastated at what might be happening to our marriage. Not sure where to go from here.

  4. LaToya Irving

    Evan, call him. Apologize. If he won’t answer your call, text him. Give him time to cool off. Once he talks to you, listen to what he tells you. Make a vow to watch what you say in the future. Pray, ask God to help you in that area, He’ll do it. I’m praying for y’all.

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