I’ve been married seventeen years and there have been times that I used my tongue as a two edged sword. Whenever I felt like my feelings were hurt, I would respond by saying the most hurtful things to my husband.
I didn’t care what I said, I just felt that I had the right to say what I wanted. Yes men say things too, but for my situation, I was the one using my tongue to hurt. I had to learn to shut up so I want to share some things to help all the wives who may use their words to hurt their husbands.
- When your find yourself in a heated argument, leave the room or the house if you need to. Come back when you can have a conversation. Having a conversation means listening as well as talking.
- Think about what you are going to say and if you would want those words spoken to you from someone you love.
- Talk to your husband about your feelings and be honest. No one can read minds; if you don’t tell him, he won’t know.
- Go to counseling if you feel you need to talk to a professional or hear an outside opinion. You may want to discover why you feel the need to hurt with your words.
I learned to watch what I say during disagreements with my husband. I try to not let the disagreements escalate out of control by listening to what he is saying and taking his feelings into consideration. Doing that forces me to think about my response.
I don’t want to hurt my husband and after the last time I said something very hurtful to him, he told me how bad that made him feel. I was so ashamed all I could do was ask for forgiveness. I had to realize how hurtful and yes abusive I was. Even though he forgave me I know he will always remember what I said and that just makes me think about my words even more.
Hopefully my experience will help some wife use her words to encourage, love and uplift her husband instead of purposely tearing down, degrading and cutting him.
BMWK ladies, do you find yourself hurting your husband with your words?
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